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“ Here we fee the masterly poet, and the warm, fin“ cere, generous friend ; while he, according to the “ character he gives of Mr Addison, damns with faint “ praise." Well," replied the Dean, “ I'll fhew
you a late letter of his." He did fo ; and Mrs Pilkington was surprised to find it filled with low and un. gentleman-like reflections, both on Mr Gay, and the two noble persons who honoured him withftheir patrona age after his disappointment at coart
... Well, Ma* dam,” said the Dean, “ What do you think of that “ letter ?” (seeing the had gone quite thro' it.) “ In“ deed, Sir," (replied the) “ I am sorry I have read “ it; for it gives me reason to think there is no such
thing as a fincere friend to be met with in the 66 world." Why,” replied he, « authors are as jea" lous of their prerogative as kings ; and can no more “ bear a rival in the empire of wit, than a monarch “ could in his dominions.” Mrs Pilkington then observing a Latin-fentence writ in Italics, delired the Dean to explain iti “ No," replied he, smiling, “I'll leave “that for your husband to do. I'll fend for him to « dine with us, and in the mean time we'll go and take
a walk in Naboth's vineyard." “ Where may that “be, pray, Sir?" said the. Why, a garden,” faid the Dean, * I cheated one of my neighbours out of." When they entered the garden, or rather the field, which was fquare, and inclosed with a stone wall, the Dean aked her how the liked it? “ Why, pray, Sir," said she, “ where is the garden?” “ Look behind you,” said he. She did fo; and observed the south wall was lined with brick, and a great number of fruit-trees planted against it, which being then in 'blossom, looked very beautiful." What are you fo intent on ?" said the Dean. “ The opening bloom," replied fhe; which brought Waller's lines to her remembrance.
Hope waits upon the flow'ny prime. “ Oh!" replied he, “ you are in a poetical vein ; I
thought you had been taking notice of my wall. 6 'Tis the best in Ireland. When the masons were “ building it, (as moft tradesmen are rogues), I watch.
tsed them very close, and as often as they could, they
put in a rotten stone; of which however I took no « notice, till they had built three or four perches be.
yond it. Now, as I am an absolute monarch in the
liberties, and king of the mob, my way with them " was, to have the wall thrown down to the place “ where I observed the rotten stone ; and, by doing fo “ five or fix times, the workmen were at last convinced « it was their interest to be honeft:" so Or else, Sir," faid Mrs Pilkington, “ your wall would have been as “ tedious a piece of work as Penelope's web, if all that
was done in the day was to be undone at night." • Well," answered the Dean, “ I find you
poe“ try for every occasion ; but as you cannot keep pace “ with me in walking, I would have you fit down on " that little bank, till you are rested, or I tired, to put
us more upon a par."
She seated herself, and away the Dean walked, or rather trotted as hard as ever he could drive. She could not help smiling at his odd gait; for she thought to herfelf, he had written fo much in praise of horses, that he was refolved to imitate them as nearly as he could. As she was indulging this fancy, the Dean returned to her, and gave her a Itrong confirmation of his partiality to those animals. “ I have been considering, Madam, as “ I walked,” said he, “ what a fool Mr Pilkington was “ to marry you ; for he could have afforded to keep a “ horse for less money than you cost him ; and that, you “ must confefs, would have given him better exercise “ and more pleasure than a wife –Why, you laugh, “ and don't answer me ewis not it truth?"-"I must “' answer you, Sir," replied ihe, with another question :
Pray how can a bachelor judge of this matter :" " I « find,” said he, you are vain enough to give your“ self the preference." I do, Sir,” replied she, " to " that ipecies here; to a Houyhnhnm I would as be
comes me, give preference. But, Sir, 'tis going to “ rain.”_" I hope not,” said he," for that will cost me “ fixpence for a coach for you,” (the garden being at some distance from the house.) “ Come, hafte; O how the “ tefter trembles in my pocket!” She obeyed; and they got in a doors juft time enough to escape a heavy shower.
« Thank God," said the Dean, “ I have faved my mo
ney. Here, you fellow," (to the servant), carry “ this fixpence to the lame old man that sells ginger“ bread at the corner, because he tries to do something, " and does not beg.'
Mrs Pilkington was shewed into a little street-parlour, where was Mrs Brent, his housekeeper. • Here,' fays he,
Mrs Brent, take care of this child, while I “ take my walk out within doors. The Dean then rån up the great ftairs, down one pair of back-stairs, up another, in fo violent a manner, that Mrs Pilkington could not help expressing her uneasiness to Mrs Brent, left he should fall, and be hurted. Mrs Brent faid, it was a customary exercise with him, when the weather did not permit him to walk abroad.
Mrs Brent then told Mrs Pilkington of the Dean's charity; of his giving above half of his yearly income in private pensions to decayed families ; and keeping 500 1. in the constant service of industrious poor, which he lent out 5 1. at a time, and took the payment back at i s. a-week; which, she observed, did them more fervice than if he gave it to them entirely, as it obliged them to work, and at the same time kept up this charitable fund for the aslistance of many.
6. You cannot imagine,” said she, 66 what numbers of trader
men, who have even wanted proper tools to carry on “ their work, have, by this finall loan, been put into a
prosperous way, and brought up their families in cre“ dit. The Dean," added she, “ has found out a new " method of being charitable, in which, however, I be“ lieve, he will have but few followers; which is, to “ debar himself of what he calls the superfluities of life, " in order to administer to the necessities of the diftref“ fed. You just now saw an instance of it; the money
a coach would have cost him, he gave to a poor man " unable to walk. When he dines alone, he drinks a
pint of beer, and gives away the price of a pint of “ wine. And thus he acts in numberless instances.”
The Dean came to dine with Mr and Mrs Pilkington at their Lilliputian palace, as he called it; and, who could have thought it ? he just looked into the parlour, and ran up into the garret, then into Mrs Pilkington's
bedchamber and library, and from thence down to the kitchen ; and the house being very clean, he complimented her upon it, and told her, that was his custom ; and that it was from the cleanliness of the garret and kitchen, he judged of the good housewifery of the mistress of the house ; for no doubt but a slut would have the room clean where the guests were to be entertained.
He was fometimes very rude, even to his superiors ; of which the following story, related to Mrs Pilkington by himself, may serve as one instance amongit a thousand others.
The last time he was in London, he went to dine with the Earl of Burlington, who was then but newly married. The Earl being willing, 'tis fupposed, to have some diversion, did not introduce him to his lady, nor mention his name, It is to be observed, that his gown was generally very rusty, and his person no way extraordinary. After dinner, said the Dean, “ Lady “Burlington, I hear you can fing; sing me a long. The lady looked on this unceremonious manner of asking a favour with distaste, and positively refused him. He said, she thould fing, or he would make her. “Why,
Madam, I sappose you take me for one of your poor
English hedge parsons; sing when I bid you.” As. the Earl did nothing but laugh at this freedom, the lady was so vexed, that she burst into tears, and retired. His first compliment to her when he saw her again,
Pray, Madam, are you as proud and as ill-natu“ red now, as when I saw you laft?” To which the answered, with great good humour, " No, Mr Dean ; I'll “sing
if you please.” From which time he conceived great esteem for her. But who that knew him would take offence at his bluntness ? • Mrs Pilkington could not recollect that ever she saw the Dean laugh ; perhaps he thought it beneath him ; for when any pleasantry paffed which might have excited it, he used to suck his cheeks to avoid risibility. He used frequently to put her in mind of Shakespear's de. scription of Caffius.
He is a great discernier, and he looks
That could be mov'd to smile at any thing. Jul. Cæfar. Mes Pilkington believed the Dean's early youth did not promise that bright day of wit which has fince enlightened the learned world. Whilit he was at the university of Dublin, he was so far from being diftinguished for any superiority of parts or learning, that he wasstopped of his degree as a dunce. When she heard the Dean relate this circumstance, she told him, the suppofed he had been idle: but he affirmed to the contrary, assuring her he was really dull. Which, if true, is very surprising.
* I have,” says she, “ often been led to look on the “ world as a garden, and the human minds as fo ma
ny plants, set by the hand of the great Creator for “ utility and ornament. Thus fome, we see, early pro• duce beautiful blossoms, and as soon fade away; O“ thers, whose gems are more flow in unfolding, but
more permanent when blown; and others again, " who, tho' longer in arriving at perfection, not on“ ly bless us then with shade and odour, but also with " delicious wholesome fruit."
He was a perpetual friend to merit and learning; and utterly incapable of envy; for, in true genuine wit, he could fear no rival.
It has been often observed, that where great talents are bestowed, there the strongest passions are likewise given. This great man did but too often let them have dominion over him, and that on the moft trifting occasions. During meal-times he was evermore in a storm; the meat was always too much or too little done, or the servants had offended in some point, imperceptible to the rest of the company: however, when the cloth was taken away, he made his guests rich as mends for the pain he had given them. For then
Was truly mingled in the friendly bowl