JACK had not only calculated the first revolution of his brain fo prudently, as to give rife to that epidemic sect of Edlifts, but fucceeding alfo into a new and strange variety of conceptions, the fruitfulness of his imagination led him into certain notions, which, although in appearance very unaccountable, were not without their myfteries and their meanings, nor wanted followers to countenance and improve them. I fhall therefore be extremely careful and exact in recounting fuch material paffages of this nature, as I have been able to collect, either from undoubted tradition, or indefatigable reading; and fhall defcribe them as graphically as it is poffible, and as far as notions of that height and latitude can be brought within the compass of a pen. Nor do I at all question, but they will furnish plenty of noble matter for fuch, whofe converting imaginations difpofe them to reduce all things into types; who can make shadows, no thanks to the fun; and then mold them into fubftances, no thanks to philofophy; whofe peculiar talent lies in fixing tropes and allegories to the letter, and refining what is literal into figure and mystery.

JACK had provided a fair copy of his father's will, ingroffed in form upon a large skin of parchment; and refolving to act the part of a most dutiful fon, he became the fondeft creature of it imaginable. For altho’, as I have often told the reader, it confifted wholly in certain plain cafy directions about the management and wearing of their coats, with legacies and penalties in cafe of obedience or neglect; yet he began to entertain a fancy, that the matter was deeper and darker, and therefore must needs have a great deal more of mystery at the bottom. "Gentlemen, (faid he), I will prove this very skin of parchment to be meat, drink, and cloth; "to be the philosopher's stone, and the univerfal me"dicine." În confequence of which raptures, he refolved to make use of it in the moft neceffary, as well as the most paltry occafions of life *. He had a way of working it into any shape he pleased; so that it ferved VOL. I.

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him

The author here lashes thofe pretenders to purity, who place fo much merit in ufing Scripture phrafe on all occafions.

him for a night-cap when he went to bed, and for an umbrello in rainy weather. He would lap a piece of it about a fore toe; or when he had fits, burn two inches under his nofe; or if any thing lay heavy on his ftomach, fcrape off, and swallow as much of the powder as would lie on a filver-penny they were all infallible remedies. With analogy to these refinements, his common talk and converfation ran wholly in the phrase of his will *; and he circumfcribed the utmost of his eloquence within that compafs, not daring to let flip a fyllable without authority from thence. Once at a ftrange house he was fuddenly taken fhort, upon an urgent juncture, whereon it may not be allowed too particularly to dilate; and being not able to call to mind, with that fuddennefs the occafion required, an authentic phrafe for demanding the way to the back-fide; he chose rather, as the more prudent course, to incur the penalty in such cases usually annexed. Neither was it poffible for the united rhetoric of mankind to prevail with him to make himself clean again ; because, having confulted the will upon this emergency, he met with a paffage near the bottom (whether foisted in by the tranfcriber, is not known) which feemed to forbid it +.

HE

"The Proteftant Diffenters ufe Scripture-phrafes in their ferious difcourfes and compofures more than the church-of-England men; accordingly Jack is introduced, making his common talk and converfation to run wholly in the phrafe of his WILL. W. Wotton.

I cannot guefs the author's meaning here; which I would be very glad to know, because it feems to be of importance.

Ibid. Incurring the penalty in fuch cafes ufually annexed, wants no explanation. He would not make himself clean, because having confulted the will (i. e. the New Testament) he met with a passage near the bottom, i. e. in the 11th verfe of the last chapter of the Revelations," He which is filthy, let him be filthy ftill," which feemed to forbid it. Whether foisted in by the tranfcriber, is added; becaufe this paragraph is wanting in the Alexandrian MS. the oldest and most authentic copy of the New Testament.

He made it a part of his religion, never to fay grace to his meat*; nor could all the world perfuade him, as the common phrafe is, to eat his victuals like a Chrifiant.

He bore a strange kind of appetite to Snap-dragent, and to the livid fnuffs of a burning candle; which he would catch and swallow with an agility wonderful to conceive; and, by this procedure, maintained a perpetual flame in his belly; which iffuing in a glowing fteam from both his eyes, as well as his noftrils, and his mouth, made his head appear in a dark night like the fcull of an afs,. wherein a roguifh boy had conveyed a farthing candle, to the terror of his Majesty's liege fubjects. Therefore he made use of no other expedient to light himfelf home; but was wont to fay, that a wife man was his own lantborn.

He would fhut his eyes as he walked along the streets; and if he happened to bounce his head against a post, or fall into the kennel, (as he feldom miffed either to do one or both) he would tell the gibing prentices, who looked on, that he fubmitted with entire refignation, as to a trip, or a blow of fate, with whom he found, by long experience, how vain it was either to wrestle "or to cuff; and whoever durft undertake to do either, "would be fure to come off with a fwinging fall, or a bloody nose. It was ordained, faid he, fome few days before the creation, that my nofe and this very poit fhould have a rencounter; and therefore provi"dence thought fit to fend us both into the world in the fame age, and to make us country-men, and fellow« citizens. Now, had my eyes been open, it is very likely the business might have been a great deal worfe; "for

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The flovenly way of receiving the facrament among the

Fanatics.

+ This is a common phrafe to exprefs eating cleanly, and is meant for an invective against that indecent manner among fome people in receiving the facrament; fo in the lines before, which is to be understood of the Diffenters refufing to kneel at the facrament.

I cannot well find the author's meaning here, unless it be the hot, untimely, blind zeal of enthusiasts.

"for how many a confounded flip is daily got by man, "with all his forefight about him? befides, the eyes of "the understanding fee beft, when those of the fenfes

are out of the way; and therefore blind men are ob"ferved to tread their steps with much more caution, "and conduct, and judgment, than thofe who rely with too "much confidence upon the virtue of the vifual nerve, "which every little accident shakes out of order, and a "drop or a film can wholly difconcert; like a lanthorn

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among a pack of roaring bullies, when they fcour the "ftreets; expofing its owner and itself to outward kicks "and buffets, which both might have efcaped, if the "vanity of appearing would have fuffered them to walk

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in the dark. But farther, if we examine the conduc "of these boafted lights, it will prove yet a great deal "worse than their fortune. 'Tis true, I have broke my "nose against this poft, because providence either forgot, or did not think it convenient to twitch me by "the elbow, and give me notice to avoid it. But let "not this encourage either the present age or pofterity, "to trust their noses into the keeping of their eyes; which may prove the fairest way of lofing them for good and all. For, Oye eyes! ye blind guides; miferable guardians are ye of our frail nofes; ye, I fay, who "faften upon the first precipice in view, and then tow "our wretched willing bodies after you, to the very "brink of deftruction. But, alas! that brink is rotten, "our feet flip, and we tumble down prone into a gulph, "without one hospitable shrub in the way to break the "fall; a fall to which not any nofe of mortal make is

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equal, except that of the Giant Laurcalco †, who was "Lord of the Silver-bridge. Moft properly, therefore, Oeyes, and with great juftice, may you be compared "to those foolish lights, which conduct men thro' dirt "and darkness, till they fall into a deep pit, or a noi"fome bog."

THIS I have produced, as a fcantling of Jack's great eloquence, and the force of his reafoning upon fuch abftrufe matters.

tid. Don Quixote«.

H&

He was, befides, a perfon of great defign and improvement in affairs of devotion, having introduced a new deity, who has fince met with a vast number of worshippers; by fome called Babel, by others, Chaos; who had an antient temple of Gothic ftructure upon Salisbury plain, famous for its fhrine, and celebration by pilgrims.

WHEN he had fome roguish trick to play, he would down with his knees, up with his eyes, and fall to prayers, tho' in the midft of the kennel*. Then it was that those who understood his pranks, would be fure to get far enough out of his way; and whenever curiofity attracted ftrangers to laugh, or to liften, he would of at fudden, with one hand out with his gear, and pifs full in their eyes, and with the other befpatter them all

with mud.

In winter he went always loose and unbuttoned, and clad as thin as poffible, to let in the ambient heat; and in fummer lapped himself close and thick, to keep it out†.

In all revolutions of government, he would make his court for the office of Hangman-General ‡; and in the exercife of that dignity, wherein he was very dextrous, would make ufe of no other vizard than a long prayer ||

He had a tongue fo mufculous and fubtile, that he could twift it up into his nofe, and deliver a strange kind of fpeech from thence. He was alfo the first in these kingdoms who began to improve the Spanish accomplishment of braying; and, having large ears, perpetually expofed and arrected, he carried his art to fuch a perfection, that it was a point of great difficulty to diftinguish, either by the view or the found, between the original and the copy.

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He

The villanies and cruelties committed by Enthusiasts and Fanatics among us, were all performed under the disguise of res ligion and long prayers.

+ They affect differences in habit and behaviour.

They are fevere perfecutors, and all in a form of cant and devotion.

#Cromwel and his confederates went, as they called it, to feek God, when they resolved to murder the King.