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which I take to be occasioned by want of trade : when there are few borrowers and the little money in private hands lying dead, there is no other way to dispose of it but in buying of land, which consequently makes the owners hold it so high.

Besides paying the nation's debts, the sale of these lands would have many other good effects upon

the nation. It will considerably increase the number of gentry where the bishops' tenants are not able or willing to purchase ; for the lands will afford a hundred gentlemen a good revenue to each; several persons from England will probably be glad to come over hither, and be the buyers, rather than give 30 years' purchase at home, under the loads of taxes for the public and the poor as well as repairs, by which means much money may be brought among us; and probably some of the purchasers themselves may be content to live cheap in a worse country rather than be at the charge of exchange and agencies; and perhaps of non-solvencies in absence, if they let their lands too high.

This proposal will also multiply farmers, when the purchasers will have lands in their own power to give long and easy leases to industrious husbandmen.

I have allowed some bishoprics of equal income to be of more or less value to the purchaser, according as they are circumstanced. For instance, the lands of the primacy and some other sees are let so low that they hardly pay a fifth penny of the real value to the bishop, and there the fines are the greater. On the contrary, the sees of Meath and Clonfert consisting as I am told much of tithes, those tithes are annually let to the tenants without any fines. So the see of Dublin is said to have many fee-farms which pay no fines; and some leases for lives which pay very little, and not so soon nor so duly.

I cannot but be confident that their graces my lords the archbishops and my lords the bishops will heartily join in this proposal, out of gratitude to his late and present majesty, the best of kings, who have bestowed on them such high and opulent stations: as well as in pity to this country, which is now become their own; whereby they wiil be instrumental toward paying the nation's debts without impoverishing themselves; enrich a hundred gentlemen, as well as free them from dependency; and thus remove that envy which is apt to fall upon their graces and lordships, from considerable persons whose birth and fortunes rather qualify them to be lords of manors than servile dependants upon churchmen, however dignified or distinguished.


If I do not flatter myself, there could not be any law lar than this. For the immediate tenants to bishops being some of

them persons of quality and good estates, and more of them grown

up to be gentlemen by the profits of these very leases under a succession of bishops, think it a disgrace to be subject both to rents and fines at the pleasure of their landlords. Then the bulk of the tenants, especially the dissenters, who are our true loyal protestant brethren, look upon it both as an unnatural and iniquitous thing that bishops should be owners of land at all (wherein I beg to differ from them), being a point so contrary to the practice of the apostles, whose successors they are deemed to be; and who, although they were contented that land should be sold for the common use of the brethren, yet would not buy it themselves, but had it laid at their feet to be distributed to poor proselytes.

I will add one word more; that by such a wholesome law all the oppressions felt by under-tenants of church leases, which are now laid on the bishops, would entirely be prevented, by their graces and lordships consenting to have their lands sold for payment of the nation's debts; reserving only the present rent for their own plentiful and honorable support.

I beg leave to add one particular; that when heads of a bill (as I find the style runs in this kingdom) shall be brought in for forming this proposal into a law, I should humbly offer that there might be a power given to every bishop, except those who reside in Dublin, for applying 100 acres of profitable land that lies nearest his palace as a demesne for the convenience of his family.

I know very well that this scheme has been much talked of for some time past, and is in the thoughts of many patriots; neither was it properly mine, although I fell readily into it when it was first communicated to me.

Although I am almost a perfect stranger in this kingdom, yet since I have accepted an employment here of some consequence as well as profit, I cannot but think myself in duty bound to consult the interest of people among whom I have been so well received. And if I can be any way instrumental toward contributing to reduce this excellent proposal into a law (which being not in the least injurious to England, will I am confident meet with no opposition from that side) my sinccre endeavors to serve this church and kingdom will be well rewarded.


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Nothing is held more commendable in all great cities, especially the metropolis of a kingdom, than what the French call the police; by which word is meant the government thereof, to prevent the many disorders occasioned by great numbers of people and carriages, especially through narrow streets. In this government our famous city of Dublin is said to be very defective and universally complained of. Many wholesome laws have been enacted to correct those abuses, but are ill executed; and many more are wanting; which I hope the united wisdom of the nation (whereof so many good effects have already appeared this session) will soon take into their profound consideration,

As I have been always watchful over the good of mine own country, and particularly that of our renowned city, where (absit invidia) I had the honor to draw my first breath, I cannot have a minute's ease or patience, to forbear enumerating some of the greatest enormities, abuses, and corruptions, spread almost through every part of Dublin, and proposing such remedies as I hope the legislature will

approve of.


The narrow compass to which I have confined myself in this paper will allow me only to touch the most important defects, and such as I think seem to require the most speedy redress.

And first; perhaps there was never known a wiser institution than that of allowing certain persons of both sexes, in large and populous cities, to cry through the streets many necessaries of life. It would be endless to recount the conveniences which our city enjoys by this useful invention; and particularly strangers, forced hither by business, who reside here but a short time; for these, having usually but little money, and being wholly ignorant of the town, might at an easy price purchase a tolerable dinner, if the several criers would pronounce the names of the goods they have to sell in any tolerable language. And therefore, until our law-makers shall think it proper to interpose so far as to make those traders pronounce their words in such terms that a plain christian hearer may comprehend what is cried, I would advise all new-comers to look out at their garret windows, and there see whether the thing that is cried be tripes or flummery, butter-milk or cow-heels. For as things are now managed, how is it possible for an honest countryman just arrived to find out what is meant, for instance, by the following words, with which his ears are constantly stunned twice a-day, "Mugs, jugs, and porringers, up in the garret, and down in the cellar !” I say, how is it possible for any stranger to understand that this jargon is meant as an invitation to buy a farthing's worth of milk for his breakfast or supper, unless his curiosity draws him to the window, or until his landlady shall inform him ? I produce this only as one instance among 100 much worse; I mean where the words make a sound wholly inarticulate, which gives so much disturbance and so little information.

The affirmation solemnly made in the cry of herrings is directly against all truth and probability; "Herrings alive, alive here !"

” The very proverb will convince us of this; for what is more frequent in ordinary speech than to say of some neighbor for whom the passing-bell rings, that he is dead as a herring? And pray how is it possible that a herring which, as philosophers observe, cannot live longer than one minute three seconds and a half out of water, should bear a voyage in open boats from Howth to Dublin, be tossed into 20 hands, and preserve its life in sieves for several hours ? Nay, we have witnesses ready to produce that many thousands of these herrings, so impudently asserted to be alive, have been a day and a night upon dry land. But this is not the worst. What can we think of those impious wretches who dare in the face of the sun vouch the very same affirmative of their salmon, and cry, “ Salmon alive, alive!" whereas, if you call the woman who cries it, she is not ashamed to turn back her mantle and show you this individual salmon cut into a dozen pieces? I have given good advice to these infamous disgracers of their sex and calling without the least appearance of remorse, and fully against the conviction of their own consciences; I have mentioned this grievance to several of our parish ministers, but all in vain; so that it must continue until the government shall think fit to interpose.

There is another cry which from the strictest observation I can make appears to be very modern, and it is that of sweethearts;1 and is plainly intended for a reflection upon the female sex, as if there were at present so great a dearth of lovers that the women,

instead * A sort of sugar-cakes in the shape of hearts.



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of receiving presents from men, were now forced to offer money to purchase sweethearts. Neither am I sure that this cry does not glance at some disaffection against the government; insinuating that while so many of our troops are engaged in foreign service, and such a great number of our gallant officers constantly reside in England, the ladies are forced to take up with parsons and attorneys; but this is a most unjust reflection, as may soon be proved by any person who frequents the castle, our public walks, our balls, and assemblies; where the crowds of toupees? were never known to swarm as they do at present.

There is a cry peculiar to this city which I do not remember to have been used in London, or at least not in the same terms that it has been practised by both parties during each of their power, but very unjustly by the Tories. While these were at the helm they grew daily more and more impatient to put all true Whigs and Hanoverians out of employments : to effect which they hired certain ordinary fellows with large baskets on their shoulders, to call aloud at every house, “ Dirt to carry out;" giving that denomination to our whole party; as if they would signify that the kingdom could never be cleansed until we were swept from the earth like rubbish. But since that happy turn of times when we were so miraculously preserved, by just an inch, from popery, slavery, massacre, and the pretender, I must own it is prudence in us still to go on with the same cry; which has ever since been so effectually observed, that the true political dirt is wholly removed and thrown on its proper dunghills, there to corrupt and be no more heard of.

But to proceed to other enormities. Every person who walks the streets must needs observe an immense number of human excrements at the doors and steps of waste houses and at the sides of every dead wall; for which the disaffected party has assigned a very false and malicious cause : they would have it that these heaps were laid there privately by British fundaments to make the world believe that our Irish vulgar do daily eat and drink; and consequently that the clamor of poverty among us must be false, proceeding only from Jacobites and papists. They would confirm this by pretending to observe that a British anus being more narrowly perforated than one of our own country, and many of these excrements upon a strict view appearing copple crowned, with a point like a cone or pyramid, are easily distinguished from the Hibernian, which lie much flatter

A new name for a modern periwig with a long black tail, and for its owner, fashionable in the year 1733.

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