against him, and therefore he hoped | great lion.-This was the sometime owner of Yatton! who had aspired to the hand of Miss Aubrey! who had for two years revelled in every conceiv they would "remember him, and do something to get him out of his trouble." He seemed to cling to them as though he had a claim upon them-able species of luxury, splendour, and instead of being himself Lord Drelin- profligacy! Here was the individual at court's debtor to the amount of, at least, whose instance-at whose nod-Lord twenty thousand pounds, had his lord- Drelincourt had been deprived of his ship, instead of inclining a compas- liberty, ruthlessly torn from the bleedsionate ear to his entreaties, chosen to ing bosom of his family, and he and fling his heavy claim, too, into the they, for manymanywearymonths, subscale against him. This, however, was jected to the most harassing and hearta view of the case which never occur- breaking privations and distresses! red to poor Titmouse. Partly of their own accord, and partly at Miss Aubrey's earnest entreaty, Lord Drelincourt and Mr Delamere went to the prison, and had a long interview with him-his lordship being specially anxious to ascertain, if possible, whether Titmouse had been originally privy to the monstrous fraud, by means of which he had succeeded in possessing himself of Yatton, at so fearful a cost of suffering to those whom he had deprived of it. While he was chattering away, more after the fashion of a newly-caged ape, than a MAN, with eager and impassioned tone and gesticulation-with a profuse usage of his favourite phraseology "Pon my soul!" "Pon my life! ""By Jove!" and of several shocking oaths, for which he was repeatedly and sternly rebuked by Lord Drelincourt, with what profound and melancholy interest did the latter regard the strange being before him, and think of the innumerable extraordinary things which he had heard concerning him! Here was the widowed husband of the Lady Cecilia, and son-in-law of the Earl of Dreddlington-that broken pillar of pride!-broken, alas! in the very moment of imaginary strength and magnificence! Here was the late member of Parliament for the borough of Yatton, whose constituency had deliberately declared him possessed of their complete confidence!-on whose individual vote had more than once depended the existence of the King's ministry, and the passing of measures of the greatest possible magnitude! This was he whom all society-even the most brilliant-had courted as a On quitting him, Lord Drelincourt put into his hand a ten-pound note, with which Titmouse seemed, though he dared not say so, not a little disappointed. His lordship and Mr Delamere were inclined, upon the whole, for Titmouse had displayed some little cunning, to believe that he had not been aware of his illegitimacy till the issue of the Ecclesiastical proceedings had been published; but from many remarks he let fall, they were satisfied that Mr Gammon must have known the fact from a very early period-for Titmouse spoke freely of the constant mysterious threats he was in the habit of receiving from that gentleman. Lord Drelincourt had promised Titmouse to consider in what way he could serve him; and during the course of the day instructed Mr Runnington to put the case into the hands of some attorney of the Insolvent Debtor's Court, with a view of endeavouring to obtain for the unfortunate little being the "benefit of the Act." As soon as the course of practice would admit of it, he was brought up in the ordinary way before the court, which was quite crowded by persons either interested as creditors, or curious to see so celebrated a person as TITTLEBAT TITMOUSE. The commissioners were astounded at the sight of the number and magnitude of his liabilities-a hundred thousand pounds at least!-against which he had nothing to set except the following items: "Cash lent Swindle O'Gibbet, Esq., do. Phelim O'Doodle, £500 200 100 100 scent of the undertaking, came to the prison, and offered him three hundred pounds for his manuscript, provided only he would undertake that it should fill three volumes. This greatly stimulated Titmouse; but unfortunately he fell ill before he had completed the first volume, and never, during the remainder of his confinement, recovered himself sufficiently to proceed further with his labours. I once had an opportunity of glancing over what he had written, which was really curious, and might have been made entertaining; but I do not know what has since become of it. -together with some other similar | fill three quires of paper; and it is a but lesser sums; but for none of them fact that a fashionable publisher got could he produce any vouchers, except for the sum lent to the Hon. Empty Belly, who had been imprudent enough to give him his I.O.U. Poor Titmouse's discharge was vehemently opposed on the part of his creditors, particularly the three Jews; whose frantic and indecorous conduct in open court, occasioned the chief commissioner to order them to be removed. They would have had Titmouse remanded to the day of his death! After several adjourned and lengthened hearings, the court pronounced him not to be entitled to his discharge till he should have remained in prison for the space of eighteen calendar months; on hearing which he During the last month of his imburst into a fit of loud and bitter weep-prisonment he became intimate with ing, and was removed from court, a villanous young Jew attorney, who, wringing his hands and shaking his under the pretence of commencing head in perfect despair. As soon as proceedings in the House of Lords (!) this result had been communicated to for recovering the Yatton property Lord Drelincourt, who had taken spe- once more from Lord Drelincourt, concial care that his name should not be trived to get into his own pockets among those of Mr Titmouse's credi- more than one-half of the weekly tors, he came to the humane determi- sum allowed by that nobleman to his nation of allowing him a hundred and grateful pensioner! On the day of fifty pounds a-year for his life, payable his discharge, Titmouse, not compreweekly, to commence from the date of hending the nature of his own posihis being remanded to prison. For tion, went off straight to the lodgings of the first month or so he spent all his Mr Swindle O'Gibbet, to demand payweekly allowance in brandy-and-water, ment of the five hundred pounds due and cigars, within three days after to him from that honourable gentlereceiving it. Then he took to gam- man, to whom he became a source of bling with his fellow-prisoners; but, all inconceivable vexation and torment. of a sudden, he turned over quite a new Following him about with a sort of leaf. The fact was, that he had be- insane and miserable pertinacity, Titcome intimate with an unfortunate mouse lay in wait for him now at his literary hack, who used to procure lodgings-then at the door of the small sums by writing articles for the House of Commons; dogged him from meanest periodicals; and at his sug- the one point to the other; assailed gestion, Titmouse fell to work upon him with passionate entreaties and several quires of foolscap: the follow-reproaches in the open street; went ing being the title given to his pro-to the public meetings over which jected work, by his new and experienced Mr O'Gibbet presided, or where he friend แ "Ups and Downs: Being Memoirs of My Life, by spoke, always on behalf of the rights of conscience, and the liberty of the subject, and would call out-" Pay me my five hundred pounds! I want my money! Where's my five hundred pounds?" on which Mr O'Gibbet would point to him, call him an "impostor a liar!" furiously addHe got so far on with his task as to ing that he was only hired by the TITTLEBAT TITMOUSE, Esq., ing himself in the morning with extraordinary pains, never failing to have a glimpse visible of his white pocket-handkerchief out of the pocket in the breast of his surtout, nor to have his boots brightly polished, he generally sits down with a glass of strong and warm toast-and-water, and a coloured straw, which he imagines to be brandy-and-water, and a cigar. He complained, at first, that the brandy enemies of the people, to come and disturb their proceedings; whereupon Titmouse-surely a new way of paying old debts-was always shuffled about-his hat knocked over his eyes -and he was finally kicked out, and once or twice pushed down from the top to the bottom of the stairs. The last time that this happened, poor Titmouse's head struck with dreadful force against the banisters; and he lay for some time stunned and bleed-and-water was very weak; but he is ing. On being carried to a doctor's now reconciled to it, and sips his two shop, he was shortly afterwards seized tumblers daily with an air of tranquil with a fit of epilepsy. This seemed enjoyment. When I last saw him he to have given the finishing stroke to was thus occupied. On my approaching his shattered intellects; for he sank him, he hastily stuck his quizzingsoon afterwards into a state of idiotcy. glass into his eye, where it was reThrough the kindness, and at the ex-tained by the force of muscular conpense, of Lord Drelincourt, he was admitted an inmate of a private lunatic asylum, in the eastern suburbs of London, where he still continues. He is harmless and quiet; and after dress traction, while he stared at me with all his former expression of rudeness and presumption. 'Twas at once a ridiculous, and a mournful sight. CHAPTER VII. MR TAG-RAG'S FINAL ADVENTURES; A SUDDEN GLIMPSE OF GAMMON AGAIN; AND THE LAST OF MR QUIRK. I SHOULD be glad, if, consistently with my duty as an impartial historian, I could have concealed some discreditable features in the conduct of Mr Tag-rag, subsequently to his unfortunate bankruptcy. I shall not, however, dwell upon them at greater length than is necessary. His creditors were so much dissatisfied with his conduct, that not one of them could be prevailed upon to sign his certificate, by which means he was prevented from re-establishing himself in business, even had he been able to find the means of so doing; since, in the whimsical eye of our law, any business carried on by an uncertificated *See APPENDIX. bankrupt, is so carried on by him only as a trustee for his creditors.-His temper getting more and more soured, he became at length quite intolerable to his wife, whom he had married only for her fortune, £800, and the goodwill of her late husband's business, as a retail draper and hosier, in Little Turn-stile, Holborn. When he found that Mrs Tag-rag would not forsake her unhappy daughter, he snapped his fingers at her, and, I regret to say, told her that she and her daughter, and her respectable husband, might all go to the devil together-but that he must shift for himself; and, in plain English, he took himself off! Mr Dismal Horror found that he had What has since become of Mr Horror, I do not know; but the next thing I heard of Mr Tag-rag, was his entering into the employ of no other a person than Mr Huckaback, who had been for some time settled in a little shop in the neighbourhood of Leicester Square. Having, however, inadvertently shown in to Mr Huckaback one of his creditors to whom he had given special orders to be denied, that gentleman instantly turned him out of the shop, in a fury, without character or wages; which latter, nevertheless, Tag-rag soon compelled him, by the process of the Court of Requests, to pay him; being one week's entire salary. In passing shortly afterwards a mock auction, on the left-hand side of the Poultry, I could not help pausing to admire the cool effrontery with which the Jew in the box was putting up showy but worthless articles to sale, to four patient puffers-his entire audience-and who bid against one another, in a business-like way, for everything thus proposed for their consideration. Guess my astonishment and concern, when one of the aforesaid puffers, who stood with his back towards me, happening to look round for a moment, I discovered in him my friend Mr Tag-rag! His hat was nicely brushed, but all the " пар was off; his coat was clean, threadbare, and evidently had been made for some other person; under his arm was an old cotton umbrella; and in his hands, which were clasped behind him, were a pair of antiquated black gloves, doubled up, only for show, evidently not for use. made a sad business of it, in marrying | turbance that the police rushed in, Miss Tag-rag, who brought him two and took them both off to the policechildren in the first nineteen months, office, where such a scene ensued as and seemed likely to go on at that beggars all description. rate for a long time to come, which made Mr Horror think seriously of treading in the steps of his excellent father-in-law-viz. deserting his wife. They had contrived to scrape together a petty day-school for young children, in Goswell Street; but which was inadequate to the support of themselves, and also of Mrs Tag-rag, who had failed in obtaining the situation of pew-opener to a neighbouring chapel. The scheme he had conceived, he soon afterwards carried into effect; for, whereas he went out one day, saying he should return in an hour's time, he nevertheless came not back at all. Burning with zeal to display his pulpit talents, he took to street-preaching, and at length succeeded in getting around him a group of hearers, many of them serious and attentive pickpockets, with dexterous fingers and devout faces, wherever he held forth, which was principally in the neigh bourhood of the Tower and Smithfield -till he was driven away by the police, who never interfered with his little farce till he had sent his hat round; when, to preserve the peace, they would rush in, disperse the crowd, and taking him into custody, convey him to the police-office; where, in spite of his eloquent defences, he several times got sentenced to three months' imprisonment, as an incorrigible disturber of the peace, and in league with the questionable characters, who the police declared-were invariably members of every congregation he addressed. One occasion of his being thus taken into custody was rather a singular one:-Mr Tag-rag happened to be passing while he was Notwithstanding, however, he had holding forth, and, unable to control sunk thus low, there happened to him, his fury, made his way immediately some time afterwards, one or two surin front of the impassioned preacher; prising strokes of good fortune. First and, sticking his fists in his side a of all, he contrived to get a sum of kimbo, exclaimed, "Aren't you a nice three hundred pounds from one of his young man now?"--which quite dis- former debtors, who imagined that concerted his pious son-in-law; who Tag-rag was authorised by his asthrew his hymn-book in his father-in- signees to receive it. Nothing, howlaw's face; which bred such a dis-ever, of the kind; and Tag rag quietly opened a small shop in the neighbour-writ De Contumace Capiendo, amidst hood of St George's in the East, and the indignant sympathy and admibegan to scrape together a tolerable ration of all those enlightened persons business. Reading one day a flourish- who shared his opinions. In a twinking speech in Parliament, on the atro-ling he shot up, as it were, into the air cious enormity of calling upon Dis- like a rocket, and became popular, senters to pay Church-rates, it oc- beyond his most sanguine expecta curred to Mr Tag-rag as likely to turn tions. The name of the first Churchout a good speculation, and greatly rate martyr went the round of every increase his business, if he were to paper in the United Kingdom; and become a martyr for conscience' sake; at length came out a lithographed and after turning the thing about a likeness of him with his precious good deal in his mind, he determined autograph appended, so— on refusing to pay the sum of one "THOMAS TAG-RAG, CHURCH-RATE MARTYR.” shilling and twopence-halfpenny, due in respect of a rate which had been Subscriptions were entered into on his recently made for the repair of the behalf; and as they were paid into church steeple, then nearly falling his hands from time to time, he kept down. In a civil and unctuous man- quietly increasing his purchases of ner, he announced to the collector his linen-drapery and enlarging his busidetermination to refuse the payment ness, in a decisive and highly satison strictly conscientious grounds. The factory manner. Nothing could excollector expostulated, but in vain. ceed the accounts brought in to the He urged the smallness of the sum; poor martyr of the extent to which but Tag-rag meekly spoke of a great his custom was increasing; for in principle. Then came the amazed each window of his shop hung a copy churchwardens - but he was inflex- of his portrait, attracting the eye of ible. The thing began to get wind, and every passenger. But he was not the the Rector, an amiable and learned only person who rejoiced in this state man, and an earnest lover of peace in of things; there being others who had his parish, came to try his powers of a deep stake in his success, and whom persuasion; but he might have saved-forgetful of the maxim that one himself the trouble; 'twas impossible to divert Mr Tag-rag's eye from the glorious crown of martyrdom which he had resolved upon earning. Then he called on the minister of the congregation where he "worshipped," and with tears and agitation un bosomed himself upon the subject, and besought his counsel. The intelligent and pious pastor got excited; so did his leading people. A meeting was called at his chapel, the result of which was a declaration that Mr Tagrag's conduct was most praiseworthy and noble that he had taken his stand upon a great principle--and deserved to be supported. Several lead ing members of the congregation, who had never dealt with him before, suddenly became customers of his. The upshot of the matter was, that, after a prodigious stir, Mr Tag-rag became a victim in right earnest; and was taken into custody by virtue of a should begin nothing till one has well considered the end of it — he had not at first adverted to-viz. HIS ASSIGNEES-to whom belonged, in point of law, the rattling business he was carrying on, and who were watching his movements with lively interest. He was suddenly struck dumb with dismay and astonishment, when he heard of this unexpected issue of the affair; and began to fear that he had "missed his providential way." His assignees, however, seemed to think that they had got into theirs—and enlarged the premises, and greatly increased the stock, profiting by the continually augmenting popularity of Tag-rag. From the moment of this dismal discovery, his ardour in the Great Cause wonderfully declined; and he would have jumped at any decent excuse for getting out of the thing altogether. And, indeed, when he came |
