"You banter me, madam; the kingdom must grant—” "You officers, Captain, are fo complaifant !" "Hift, huffy, I think I hear fomebody coming-" "No, madam; 'tis only Sir Arthur a-humming.

To fhorten my tale (for I hate a long story) "The Captain at dinner appears in his glory; "The Dean and the * Doctor have humbled their pride, "For the Captain's entreated to fit by your fide; "And, because he's their betters, you carve for him " first;

"The Parfons for envy are ready to burst.

"The fervants amaz'd are scarce ever able

"To keep off their eyes, as they wait at the table; "And Molly and I have thrust in our nose

"To peep at the Captain in all his fine cl'es. “Dear madam, be fure he's a fine-spoken man, "Do but hear on the Clergy how glib his tongue ran; "And, madam, says he, if such dinners you give, "You'll ne'er want for Parfons as long as you live. "I ne'er knew a Parfon without a good nofe; "But the Devil's as welcome wherever he goes: "G— d―n me! they bid us reform and repent, "But, z-s! by their looks they never keep Lent: "Mister Curate, for all your grave looks, I'm afraid "You cast a sheep's eye on her Ladyship's maid: "I wifh fhe would lend you her pretty white hand "In mending your caffock, and smoothing your band (For the Dean was fo fhabby, and look'd like a ninny, "That the Captain fuppos'd he was Curate to Jinny). * Doctor Jinny, a clergyman in the neighbourhood. F. "Whenever

.66

"Whenever fee a caflock and gown,

you

"A hundred to one but it covers a clown.
"Obferve how a Parfon comes into a room;
«G— d―n me! he hobbles as bad as my groom;
"A fcholard, when just from his college broke loose,
"Can hardly tell how to cry bo to a goose;

"Your Noveds, and Bluturcks, and Omurs, and stuff,
"By G, they don't fignify this pinch of snuff.
"To give a young gentleman right education,
"The army's the only good fchool in the nation:
"My school-mafter call'd me a dunce and a fool,
"But at cuffs I was always the cock of the school;
"I never could take to my book for the blood o' me,
"And the puppy confefs'd he expected no good o'me.
"He caught me one morning coquetting his wife,
"But he maul'd me, I ne'er was fo maul'd in my life:
"So I took to the road, and, what's very odd,
"The first man I robb'd was a Parson, by G-.
"Now, madam, you'll think it a strange thing to fay,
"But the fight of a book makes me fick to this day.”
"Never fince I was born did I hear fo much wit,
“And, madam, I laugh'd till I thought I should split.
"So then you look'd scornful, and fnift at the Dean,
"As who fhou'd fay, Now, am I ↑ fkinny and lean ?
"But he durft not fo much as once open his lips,
"And the Doctor was plaguily down in the hips."
Thus mercilefs Hannah ran on in her talk,

Till fhe heard the Dean call," Will your Lady ship
"walk?"

*Ovids, Plutarchs, Homers.

+ Nick-names for my lady.

Her

Her Ladyfhip anfwers, "I'm just coming down:" Then, turning to Hannah, and forcing a frown, Although it was plain in her heart she was glad, Cry'd, "Huffy, why fure the wench is gone mad! "How could thefe chimera's get into your brains?“Come hither, and take this old gown for your pains. "But the Dean, if this fecret fhould come to his ears, "Will never have done with his gibes and his jeers : "For your life, not a word of the matter, I charge ye : "Give me but a barrack, a fig for the clergy."

ΤΟ DEAN

SWIFT.

BY SIR ARTHUR ACHESON.

GOOD caufe have I to fing and vapour,

For I am landlord to the Drapier :

He, that of every ear's the charmer,
Now condefcends to be my farmer,
And grace my villa with his strains;
Lives fuch a bard on British plains?
No; not in all the British court;
For none but witlings there refort,

Whose names and works (though dead) are made
Immortal by the Dunciad;

And, fure as monument of brass,

Their fame to future times fhall pafs,
How, with a weakly warbling tongue,
Of brazen 'knight they vainly fung:
A fubject for their genius fit;
He dares defy both fenfe and wit.

What

What dares he not? He can, we know it,
A laureat make that is no poet;

A judge, without the leaft pretence
To common law, or common fenfe;
A bifhop that is no divine;

And coxcombs in red ribbons fhine:
Nay, he can make, what's greater far,
A middle-ftate 'twixt peace and war;
And fay, there fhall, for years together,
Be peace and war, and both, and neither.
Happy, O Market-hill at leaft,

That court and courtiers have no taste :
You never elfe had known the Dean,
But, as of old, obfcurely lain;

All things gone on the fame dull track,
And Drapier's-hill been ftill Drumlack;
But now your name with Penfhurft vies,
And wing'd with faine fhall reach the skies.

DRAPIER'S-HILL.

E give the world to understand,

WE

Our thriving Dean has purchas'd land;
A purchase, which will bring him clear

Above his rent four pounds a year;

The Dean gave this name to a farm called DrumJack, which he rented of Sir Arthur Achefon, whofe feat lay between that and Market-hill; and intended to build an houfe upon it, but afterwards changed his mind. F.

Provided, to improve the ground,
He will but add two hundred pound;
And, from his endless horded furs,
To build a houle, five hundred more.
Sir Arthur too fhall have his will,
And call the manfion Drapier's Hills
That, when a nation, long sufier'd,
Forgets by whom it once was fav'd s
When none the Drapier's prails fhall fing
His figns aloft no longer fwings
His medals and his prints forgoins
And all his handkerchiefs are rotten;
His famous Letters made walte-paper s
This bill may keep the name of Drapier;
In fpight of envy, Branch Bill,

And Drapier's vis with Cooper's hail.

THE DEAN'S REASONS

FOR NOT BUILDING AT DRAPIER'S HILL.

I WILL not build on yonder mount s
And, fhould you call me to account,

Confulting with myself, I find,

It was no levity of mind.

Whate'er I promised or intended,

No fault of mine, the fcheme is ended:

* Medals were caft, many figns hung up, and handkerchiefs made with devices, in honour of the Dean, under the name of M. B. Drapier. F.

VOL. II.

M

Nor