NOW, I have two Words in my own Defence, against this Objection. First: I am far from granting the Number of Writers, a Nuifance to our Nation, having ftrenuously maintained the contrary in feveral Parts of the following Difcourfe, Secondly I do not well understand the Juftice of this Proceeding, because I obferve many of these polite Prefaces, to be not only from the fame Hand, but from those who are moft voluminous in their feveral Productions. Upon which I fhall tell the Reader a fhort Tale.

A Mountebank in Leicefter-Fields, had drawn a huge huge Affembly about him. Among the rest, a fat unweildy Fellow, half stifled in the Prefs, would be every fit erying_out, Lord! what a filthy Crowd is here; Pray, good People, give way a little, Blefs me! what a Devil has rak'd this Rabble together: Zds, what Squeezing is this! Honeft Friend, remove your Elbow. At last a Weaver that stood next him could hold no longer A Plague confound you (faid he) for an over-grown Sloven; and who (in the Devil's Name) I wonder, helps to make up the Crowd half fo much as your felf? Don't C 3

you

you confider (with a Pox) that you take up more room with that Carkafs than any five here? Is not the Place as free for us as for you ? Bring your own Guts to a reasonable Compass and be d-n'd) and then I'll engage we shall have room enough for us all.

THERE are certain common Privileges of a Writer, the Benefit whereof, I hope there will be no Reafon to doubt; particularly, that where I am not understood, it fhall be concluded, that fomething very ufeful and profound is coucht underneath: And again, that whatever Word or Sentence is Printed in a different Character, fhall be judged to contain fomething extraordinary either of Wit or Sublime.

AS for the Liberty I have thought fit to take of praising my felf, upon fome Occafions or none; I am fure it will need no Excufe, if a Multitude of great Examples be allowed fufficient Authority: For it is here to be noted, that Praife was originally a Penfion paid by the World: but the Moderns finding the Trouble and Charge too great in collecting it, have lately bought out the Fee-Simple; fince which time, the Right of Prefentation is wholly in our felves. For this Reafon it is, that when

an

an Author makes his own Elogy, he ufes a certain form to declare and infift upon his Title, which is commonly in these or the like Words, I speak without Vanity; which I think plainly fhews it to be a Matter of Right and Juftice. Now, I do here once for all declare, that in every Encounter of this Nature, thro' the following Treatife, the Form aforefaid is imply'd; which I mention, to fave the Trouble of repeating it on fo many Occafions.

'TIS a great Ease to my Confcience that I have Writ fo elabo: ate and useful a Difcourfe without one grain of Satyr intermixt; which is the fole Point wherein I have taken leave to diffent from the famous Originals of our Age and Country. I have obferv'd fomeSatyrifts to use the Publick much at the Rate that Pedants do a naughty Boy ready Hors❜d for Difcipline: First expoftulate theCafe,then plead theNeceffity of the Rod, from great Provocations,and conclude every Period with a Lafh.Now,if I know any thing of Mankind, these Gentlemen might very well fpare their Reproof and Correction: For there is not through all Nature another fo callous and infenfible a Member as the World's Pofteriors, whether you ap

CA

ply

I

ply to it the Toe or the Birch. Befides, moft of our late Satyrifts feem to lye under a fort of Miftake, that because Nettles have the Prerogative to Sting, therefore all other Weeds muft do fo too. make not this Comparison out of the least Defign to detract from these worthy Writers: For it is well known among Mytholegifts, that Weeds have the Preeminence over all other Vegetables; and therefore the first Monarch of this Ifland, whofe Tafe and Judgment were fo acute and refined, did very wifely root out the Rofes from the Collar of the Order, and plant the Thistles in their ftead, as the nobler Flower of the two. For which Reafon it is conjectured by profounder Antiquaries, that the Satyrical Itch, fo prevalent in this part of our Ifland, was firft brought among us from beyond the Tweed. Here may it long flourish and abound; May it furvive and neglect the Scorn of the World, with as much Eafe and Contempt as the World is infenfible to the Lashes of it. May their own Dullness, or that of their Party, be no Difcouragement for the Authors to proceed; but let them remember, it is with Wits as with Razors, which are never fo apt to cut those they

are

are employ'd on, as when they have loft their Edge. Befides, thofe whofe Teeth are too rotten to bite, are beft of all others, qualified to revenge that Defect with their Breath.

I am not like other Men, to envy or undervalue the Talents I cannot reach; for which Reason I must needs bear a true Honour to this large eminent Sect of our British Writers. And I hope, this little Panegyrick will not be offenfive to their Ears, fince it has the Advantage of being only defigned for themselves. Indeed, Nature her felf has taken Order, that Fame and Honour should be purchased at a better Penyworth by Satyr, than by any other Productions of the Brain; the World being fooneft provoked to Praise by Lafbes, as Men are to Love, There is a Problem in an ancient Author, why Dedications, and other Bundles of Flattery run all upon ftale mufty Topicks, without the smallest Tincture of any thing New; not only to the torment and naufeating of the Christian Reader, but (if not fuddenly prevented) to the univerfal spreading of that peftilent Disease, the Lethargy, in this Island: Whereas, there is very

little