; now dismiss our impatient Reader from any farther Attendance at the Porch and having duly prepared his Mind by a preliminary Difcourfe, fhall gladly introduce him to the fublime Myfteries that enfue. A 33 A TALE OF A TUB, &c. SECT. I. The INTRODUCTION. W HOEVER hath an Ambition to be heard in a Crowd, must press, and fqueeze, and thruft, and climb with indefatigable Pains, till he has exalted himself to a certain Degree of Altitude above them. Now, in all Affemblies, tho' you wedge them ever fo close, we may obferve this peculiar Property; that,over their Heads there is Room enough; but how to reach it, is the diffi D cult 1 cult Point; It being as hard to get quit of Number as of Hell; Evadere ad auras, Hoc opus, hic labor eft. TO this End, the Philofopher's Way in all Ages has been by erecting certain Edifices in the Air; But, whatever Practice and Reputation these kind of Structures have formerly poffeffed, or may ftill continue in; not excepting even that of Socrates, when he was fufpended in a Basket to help Contemplation; I think, with due Submiffion,they seem to labour under two Inconveniencies. First, That the Foundations being laid too high, they have been often out of Sight, and ever out of Hearing. Secondly, That the Materials being very tranfitory, have fuffered much from Inclemencies of Air, especially in these North-West Regions. THEREFORE, towards the juft Per formance of this great Work, there re main but three Methods, that I can think on; Whereof the Wisdom of our Ancestors being highly fenfible, has, to encourage all afpiring Adventurers, thought fit to c rect rect three wooden Machines, for the Ufe of those Orators who defire to talk much without Interruption. These are, the Pulpit, the Ladder, and the Stage-Itinerant. For, as to the Bar, tho' it be compounded of the fame Matter, and defigned for the fame Ufe, it cannot however be well allowed the Honor of a fourth, by reafon of its level or inferior Situation, expofing it to perpetual Interruption from Collaterals. Neither can the Bench it felf, tho raised to a proper Eminency, put in a better Claim, whatever its Advocates infist on. For if they please to look into the original Design of its Erection, and the Circumftances or Adjuncts fubfervient to that Design, they will foon acknowledge the prefent Practice exactly correfpondent to the Primitive Inftitution, and both to answer the Etymology of the Name, which in the Phenician Tongue is a Word of great Signification, importing, if literally interpreted, The Place of Sleep; but in common Acceptation, A Seat well bolfter'd and cufhion'd, for the Repose of old and gouty Limbs: Senes ut in otia tuta recedant. Fortune being indebted to them this Part of Retaliation, that, as formerly, they have long Talkt, whilst others D 2 Slept |