intelligent gentleman from Kentucky on the main State road, and we traveled several miles together, when a rain-storm drove us to a cabin by the roadside. The family had dinner on the table when we entered, and we were kindly asked to sit up and eat a bite with them," which of course we did, thinking at the same time the family was very clever to total strangers. But after a little, when the ice was broken and each one at the table seemed to be doing full justice to the occasion, the gentleman of the cabin remarked, with a smile, that he had never heard Mr. Harris preach but three times, and if Mr. Harris wouldn't be offended at him he would tell the whole story. "Go ahead! go ahead!" said Mr. Harris. "Well," said the landlord of the cabin, "the first time was at S-, on Sunday afternoon, and his text was, 'For their rock is not as our Rock, even our enemies themselves being judges.' The second time was at Camp Creek, one night, and his text was, 'For their rock is not as our Rock, even our enemies themselves being judges.' The third time I heard him was in M- I had gone in for a new recruit of clocks-for you must know I'm a clock peddler-and going to the Methodist Church on Sunday night, who should get up to preach but Mr. Harris, and he took for his text, For their rock is not as our Rock, even our enemies themselves being judges !'" As the clock-peddler finished the table was convulsed; and I, added Mr. Harris, knowing well he was joking on facts, was about to choke on a big potato-but didn't. THE Methodist Church of Jeffersonville is the only church of that denomination in the State which has a cross on its steeple. Many people, of course, looked up at it as "something new in the history of Methodism." One of the old citizens, wishing perhaps to defend the "old style" of church-building, looking at the big cross one day, remarked to a friend: "Why, Sir," said she, "you haven't forgot the way home, have you?" I was sold-sold at no price, too. "You're a knowing woman," said I, "to live this far from head-quarters!" and I rode off as if John Morgan's guerrillas were after me. PARSON B― and myself are both fond of boating. Going down to the Brooklyn Club - house, Gowanus, we were passing through a Celtic settlement, where pig-stys and kerosene refineries load the gale with mingled odors. "Smells of ' ile,'" I observed to the Parson. "Yes," says Parson B, "Emerald ile!" A MEDICAL Correspondent writes: A short time after the battle of Antietam a company of staff-officers were conversing together near the foot of South Mountain, when a rough specimen of the natives of that region approached, and asked if there was a doctor among them. The staff-surgeon, the facetious Doctor D, of Northern Pennsylvania, was pointed out, when the stranger began to make known his catalogue of afflictions-all amounting to a desire for a dram-to which the Doctor promptly responded: "You have the Hippodrome in the stomach; and as we have not the requisite medicines, I will write you a prescription. If you can get the medicines in Hagerstown they will make you sound as a top.” The following is the prescription: "A CANADA FRIEND" sends these to the Drawer: Shall we tell your readers one or two anecdotes of Bill H, a noted practical joker of the town of M- New York? "Do you see that great big cross on that church? Well, I remember, when the Methodists were poor, Bill was once painting for Mr. B, and one each member bore his own cross; but now," he add-night Mr. J's cow got into B's garden, and ed, "they have become rich, and they have stuck their cross on the top of their church!" CAPTAIN H, of this State, is as much noted for his love of fun as he was distinguished for his valor in leading his gallant band in the conflicts of the great rebellion. He tells the following story on himself: Last year, when I was home on furlough, I had some business at Heltonville, and as I didn't know the road, I was obliged to inquire the way of any one I saw. "Hello!" I yelled to a fellow away off in a field, "is this the road to Hel-tonville ?" letting my voice considerably down on the two last syllables. The fellow stopped his plow and looked wildly at me. "I say," said I, "is this the road to Heltonville?" The poor fellow, no doubt, thought I was crazy, for he left his plow and ran for his life. I rode on, of course guessing at the correct road, until I saw a woman at a well. "Madam," said I, with a loud voice to begin on, "is this the road to Hel-tonville ?" She raised her head and put her arms a-kimbo, and stared at me. nearly destroyed it. B- as a natural consequence, felt aggrieved at the loss of his "garding sass," and calling upon J, wished him to pay for the damage. They could not agree as to price, and mutually agreed to leave it to Bill to decide. He, nothing loth, accepted the office, and with a knowing air looked over the garden, and assessed the damage at four dollars; and then ordered Jto bring up his cow. He examined the animal with a sorrowful countenance, praised her fine points, etc., and then gave in his decision thus: "Wa'al, if that ere caow was mine, I wouldn't hev her lie into that garding overnight fur less 'en five dollars; so, Mr. B, as the damage to the garding is four dollars, and the damage to the caow is five dollars, you'll hev to pay Mr. Jone dollar!" It is unnecessary to say that Mr. Bnever asked Bill to assess for him again. AT another time Bill was painting a church in C, and feeling thirsty, and not having "the stamps" to purchase the necessary fluid, threw down his brush, and in his working-clothes, all painted and smeared, walked into Mr. C's office (the latter is a deacon, and a very strong temperance man). "Mr. C," said he, "we need two gallons of strong beer to mix with our varnish; it makes it dry so much better!" Away bustled the unsus- ' possession not long after of a small legacy, a sister pecting deacon, procured the beer, and Bill went on his way rejoicing. of the deceased said to her: "I suppose you will now put up a stone for Roger?" Her answer was a settler: "If the Lord wants any thing of Roger at the resurrection, I guess He can find him without a guide-board!" A MINNESOTA Correspondent sends the following: Shortly after the death of the lamented President Harrison, at a meeting of Democrats in the capital city one of the speakers dwelt at length on "this Providential dispensation in behalf of the Democratic party." He "had no hesitation in avowing his belief that the Almighty had permitted the death of the President as a mark of his displeasure," etc. Bill R―, a ragged and dirty vagabond, but withal an enthusiastic Whig, had been listening uneasily from the beginning of the speech, and at this point, unable to control himself longer, broke out with: "Ye lie, ye old rascal! ye pizened him!" This upset the gravity of the audience, and the meeting soon after adjourned. BILL G was a flat-boatman who was extensively known along the Ohio and Mississippi for his propensity to "confiscate" for himself, or "for the use of the boat," all the edible articles he could lay his hands on. His special weakness was "fowl." On one occasion he was in hot pursuit of a fine cockerel, which eluded him for some time, and at last fled through the open doorway of the house of its owner, and with outspread wings and mouth agape sought refuge under the only bed. Bill saw the family quietly breakfasting, but his courage and presence of mind did not forsake him. Rushing into the house he drew the unfortunate bird from its hiding-place, and dextrously wringing its neck as he rose to his feet, exclaimed: EVERY body has heard of Lorenzo Dow, the eccentric itinerant preacher. Belated one night in his travels, he entered, quite unceremoniously, an out-of-the-way house and requested lodgings. The woman of the house objected, having for a friend one whom Lorenzo soon ascertained was not her husband. But Lorenzo insisted, and she at length consented-immediately fastening, against further unwelcome visitors, the only outside door of the house. Soon a loud knocking was heard. It was her husband, unexpectedly returned. Unable to leave the house, the friend, to conceal himself, jumped into a large box conveniently at hand, and hastily covered himself with the hatchelings of flax it contained; by which time the wife had unfastened the door and admitted her husband. Having spent the evening at the tavern, he was just tipsy enough to be both boisterous and courageous. He soon made the acquaintance of Lorenzo, whom he had heard much of but had never seen. He had been told that he could raise the devil, and he insisted upon his immediately doing so not that he believed in any, but if there was any he wanted to see him. In vain Lorenzo objected, protesting his unwillingness and the dan-"There!-I'll learn ye to fly off the boat!" and then ger attending it, etc.; but the more than halfdrunken husband insisted. At last, said Lorenzo, "If you are determined to see him, open the door, put out the light, and stand out of his way, or he may take you with him; for when he comes it will be in a flame of fire, and I warn you of the consequences." Lighting a bunch of matches, that there might be the greater smell of brimstone, and muttering over a few unintelligible sentences, Lorenzo set fire to the hatchelings, and cried out: "Come forth, thou evil one, and begone forever!" when out sprang the man, completely enveloped in flames, and put for the open door, leaving the house with a most unearthly yell. To his dying day the husband was ready to testify that Lorenzo not only could, but in his presence did raise the devil, for he had seen and smelled him. "I wish I could prevail on neighbor Rip to keep the Sabbath," said good old Mr. Jones. "I'll tell you how to do it," exclaimed incisive young Smith; "get somebody to lend it to him, and I'll be bound that he'll keep it. He was never yet known to return any thing that he borrowed." A VENERABLE clergyman in New England, to whom the Drawer has often been indebted, sends the following veritable anecdote-a recent occurrence in his neighborhood: An old lady residing in County not long since lost the companion with whom she had jogged along for many years. She neglected to mark the spot of his burial by a grave-stone. Coming into hastily and unceremoniously left. This was sharp practice, but the best was yet to come. The master of the house soon suspecting that the stranger had "thrown dust in his eyes," quickly unloosed a ferocious bull-dog which had been tied in the rear of the cabin. Bill made his best time, but the dog gained on him rapidly, and as Bill reached the boat was about to seize him, when he was himself seized by Bill, who grasping him by the collar dragged him on board and securely confined him. Bill sold the dog in New Orleans for ten dollars.-For the encouragement of honest people we will add that Bill died a few years afterward in a State Penitentiary. A LITTLE more than a dozen years ago a stout, well-to-do farmer, of about sixty years, named O, in the township of B, in Pennsylvania, was taken suddenly ill, and after a few days' sickness died. In accordance with the wishes of the physician in attendance, and with the consent of the family of the deceased, a post-mortem examination was held to determine the cause of his death. On the evening after the examination had been made, Joe O, one of the numerous sons of the deceased, dropped in to the store of Mr. A, a merchant in the place. Joe was a broad-shouldered, big-mouthed fellow, of about thirty-five, who walked with a swagger, and talked in a loud voice and in grandiloquent style. Mr. A― addressed him as follows: "Joseph, I understand that a post-mortem examination of the body of your father was made by the doctors this afternoon; was you present, and do you know what conclusion was arrived at?" Hardly waiting until he had heard the question, Joe broke in with: "Yes, Mr. A-, I was; I was present, and saw the hull operation. I didn't think I could ha' done it, but I did [here his voice faltered]. I didn't think I could ha' done it, but I did; I stood by and saw the hull proceedin's." Here he paused, and Mr. A"Your father was a quite fleshy man." interposed: At to which, however, Johnny was an exception, behaving admirably. So his grandmother, after the close of the entertainment, to show her approbation of his course, told him that she was very glad to see him behave so much better than the others. which our Johnny looked up with a somewhat sorrowful countenance, and pathetically exclaimed: "Well, if I hadn't been afraid, I'd a made more noise than any of them!" A CORRESPONDENT in Springfield, Illinois, writes more of "Beau" Hackett: "Yes, Mr. A-, he was; he was a very fat man; his hull insides was covered as much as two An anecdote of "Beau" Hackett, the Western inches thick all over with clear fat. Why, Mr. humorist, which I have just read, reminds me of a A[here he grew enthusiastic], if it had ha' ben little circumstance which occurred a few months a critter I should ha' said-I should ha' said there ago to that eccentric individual. "Beau" was stopwas as much as sixty weight of rough taller in him!ping a few hours in Springfield, and was intending and jest as white, Mr. A, jest as white as any to go away on the 10 o'clock P.M. train, but finding mutton taller ye ever saw!" himself belated, and that the train had left him, he wended his way to the House and called for a bed. Next morning he stated to the clerk that be did not wish breakfast, and demanded his bill for the night's lodging. WHILE doing duty as State Agent" at Annapolis, in the spring of 1865, I was much amused at a little passage of wit, or repartee, between Judge Goldsborough and another Judge of the Supreme Court, then in session in that city. Judge Blank was speaking of the death of a mutual friend, and remarked, "He has gone to heaven." Judge Goldsborough immediately replied, "Then you never will meet him again." "Well, well," Judge Blank quietly answered, ". you never will be there to decide on that point!" JUDGE JONES, of K Missouri, has a keen eye for shrewd, wily bits of sharp practice in this one particular, to wit: Our statute requires a complainant carrying a suit to a higher court to make an affidavit that it is not for the purpose of harassing "nor for delay." The Judge had no case, and did want "delay;" so the Judge made his affidavit, "not for the purpose of harassing, but for delay." No one noticed the monosyllable, and the case stayed up for three years. Then the client was ready to pay, and the Judge confessed the "dodge." WE have highly-educated constables on the Border, as this will show: Constable Jones, in publishing some personal property for sale, put up a Notice with the following clause: "I wyll xspose fr sail the 5 da 1866 uv Jan an lytle rone horse, or so much tharof as ma be nessary to sattisfi sed gugment." THE manner in which our military heroes are let down to their original level on their return home is something more amusing to the lookers-on than flattering to the object. A case in point: General Sam II went out in a regiment from the Badger State as Captain. Before he left the rendezvous he was promoted to Colonel; and for gallant conduct in the field was brevetted BrigadierGeneral. On his retirement to civil life he told a friend, "They let me down easy." At Washington it was General H—; at Madison Colonel H at H, the town where he organized his Company, it was, "How are you, Captain ?" and when he got up to S, where he resides, every boy with frescoed nose was shouting, "Hello, Sam!" OUR Johnny, a six-year-old, is the smartest boy of his age in all Lowell. His grandmother recently took him to an afternoon exhibition. As is usual at such places the boys were very noisy and rude, The clerk glanced hastily at the uncouth figure and rustic garb of his customer, and replied, "Three dollars." The money was paid without a murmur, and "Greeny" retired, leaving the clerk to chuckle over his "nice little game." But the transaction was not ended. In about an hour "Beau" returned with a dray, and entering the house excitedly told the drayman to "bring that bed down quick, and put it aboard his wagon, as he was in a hurry." "What bed? What do you mean?" exclaimed the dumfounded clerk. "Why, my bed, of course; the one I bought and paid you three dollars for this morning," replied the imperturbable Hackett. By this time the landlord had appeared, and it is needless to attempt a description of the scene which ensued. "Beau" received two dollars of his money back again, the clerk received his walking papers, and will doubtless remember to his dying day the obverse of the rule that fine feathers don't make fine birds. MANY years ago, in the County of Guernsey, in the State of Ohio, lived the Rev. Timothy B farmer, miller, distiller, hog drover, and expounder of the "New Light Suaison." As was his habit to say, "I go forth to preach the Gospel to every one of God's critters." Some thirty years ago the writer met him in M'Connelsville, Ohio, and said to him: "Which way now, Parson B- -?" "I am going out here, west of the River, to fill my pintment made seven years ago to-morrow. I told the folks out thar on Sunday Creek, when I last preached to them, that I would sure be thar, Divine Providence seeing fit, in seven years. Now I am on my way to fill that pintment." "What! will any one be there to hear you after so long a time? If you have not forgotten the ap;pointment the brethren and sisters certainly have." "I don't call the rituous; it is the sinners I am arter. With my poor exertions, and some little aid Divine Providence may extend, I will put them in mind of it. I'll geather togeather in one flock the lost sheep," etc. DURING the Administration of President Monroe, after disposing of his drove of hogs "down in the Deestrick," the Rev. Timothy and some four or five ident as 66 rough and uncouth hands he had with him concluded they would make a visit to the White House, "to see Jeems Monroe and take him by the hand." Dispensing with the use of cards and formal introduction, Tim and his men pushed themselves past the attendant at the door and stalked into the presence of the President, their clothes, faces, and boots well besmeared, and announced himself to the Pres"Rev. Timothy B, from Ohio," going on his way. Well, Mr. Monroe, I have jist sold my hogs down hire in the Deestrick, and got the top of the market for them; they were fine lot of hogs, fed on still-slop and corn; and I thought I must, before I left, call on the President with these boys of mine, who never seed a President before, and they are a good ways from home. Well, Mr. President, if you ever git into deficwilty with the Britishers, or any of thim crowned heads across the water, you jist call on Tim B—, of Garnsy County, Ohio, and he will be thar, and these boys [waving his hand toward them] will do to hitch to, you may depend on that, Mr. President." 'T'im, in after time, took great delight in relating his visit to "Jeems Monroe down in the Federal City." TIM's brother, Zeke, was a very ugly man—that is, in face and person he was homely. In an early day Zeke went to Dillon's Furnace, near Zanesville, to purchase sugar kettles. When he had concluded his purchase of some half dozen or more of iron sugar kettles, the foundry man-who, by-the-way, was somewhat of a wag-after looking intently on Zeke and surveying him all over, broke out: "Well now, friend, look here! You have been a good customer this time, but I must say to you, without intending any offense, you are certainly the ugliest man I ever saw in my whole life; and here I present you with a sixteen-gallon sugar kettle. Take it home with you, and if you ever come across a man uglier than yourself deliver him the kettle." Zeke cared little for the imputation upon his looks, but was highly pleased with the gift, saying, sotto voce, "So much for a man's bad looks!" Zeke returned home with his store of sugar kettles; and after a while the story of the gift of the sixteen-gallon kettle got out among the neighbors, and came to the ears of Zeke's brother, Tim, who forthwith made a demand on Zeke for the kettle, claiming possession of the same on the terms he had received it from the foundry man-that is, that he, Tim, was an uglier man than he, Zeke. Zeke positively refused to deliver the kettle. Tim went before a Justice of the Peace in the neighborhood, and entered suit against Zeke for the possession of the kettle, and filed with the Justice the following Bill of Particulars, drawn up by a pettifogger in the neighborhood, viz.: Tim B Before J B v8. Justice of Peace. Suit brought by plaintiff, Tim BZekiel B- to recover from defendant, Zekiel B the possession of a certain sixteen-gallon sugar kettle, which the said Zekiel B——— holds in trust for this plaintiff, or any other man who may claim it, according to the condition of a verbal contract between the defendant, Zekiel B and MD, of Zanesville Foundry. Upon this Bill of Particulars process issued, trial was had, witnesses sworn and examined on each side, as to one fact only (all others admitted), viz., which man was the ugliest, Zeke or Tim. The evidence, in the mind of the Justice, when properly weighed in the scales of justice, was considered about equal; and the Justice, after a few days' deliberation, dismissed the case without prejudice, at the costs of the said complainant, Tim. SOME years since, previous to the adoption of the Code in Kentucky, the following declaration and plea were filed in the Whitley Circuit Court. The plaintiff, Goins, didn't like it go out that any man could abuse him so badly as the plea set up that the defendants had, and dismissed his suit: State of Kentucky. Canada Goins, plaintiff, by his Whitley Circuit Court. attorney, complains of Thomas R. Harmon and Cornelius Finlay, defendants, of a plea of trespass vi et armis. 18, at the State and Circuit aforesaid, with force and day of For that the said defendants, on the arms, assaulted the said plaintiff (to wit), and then and there seized and laid hold of the plaintiff, and with great force and violence pulled, shook, and dragged about the said plaintiff, and gave and struck the said plaintiff a great many violent blows and strokes on divers parts of his body, and then and there, with great force and vicdown and upon the ground, and then and there violently lence, knocked, cast, and threw him, the said plaintiff, kicked the said plaintiff, and gave and struck him a great many other blows, and other wrongs did to the said plaint iff then and there did against the peace and dignity of the Commonwealth of Kentucky, and to the damage of the said plaintiff $2000-and therefore he brings his suit. Thos. Harmon And the defendant comes and acknowl edges the force and injury complained of Canada Goins. in plaintiff's declaration in said action sworn because he says that he did draw back his fist and hit plaintiff at the but of the ear and knock him heels over head, and as he arose he gave him a tremendous kick, and turned him about three times over, and as the plaintiff arose the second time he arose a-running, and defend. ant after him, and as the plaintiff run he holowed murder every jump for about two hundred yards, when defendant being faster on foot than the plaintiff caught him again, and did then and there cuff, flog, castigate, and whip the said plaintiff until he begged and plead with him, and said in a pitiful and plaintive tone, Don't, Tom! don't, Tom! and promised the defendant, if he would let him alone, he would always behave himself well, and love this defendant; and after the matter was all over he came to defendant would never whip him any more that he would defendant in cool blood and agreed with defendant that if not sue this defendant for the above thrashing, which defendant agreed to, and has not whipped him since, which agreement this defendant relies on as a bar to this action; and this, and no other, is the trespass complained of in the plaintiff's declaration, and this he is ready to verify. BINGHAMTON wishes to be spelled without a p. One of her pleasant people says: Many years since, while the worthy but eccentric Dr. Robinson (father of Major-General John C. Robinson) officiated as village postmaster here, the postmaster of Buffalo fell into the too common error of addressing packages intended for this office to Binghampton, instead of Binghamton. The worthy Doctor was much annoyed by this, and accordingly he addressed a note to the Buffalo postmaster asking him "to keep the p out of Binghamton." This, however, failed to have the desired effect, as packages continued to appear with the misspelled address thereon. At length, out of all patience with the stupidity of postmasters in general, and the one at Buffalo in particular, the Doctor addressed a package to him as follows: "JM, Postmaster, "BUFFALOP, N. Y." Adding: "There! how do you like a p in Buffalo ?" This had the desired effect, so far as the Buffalo postmaster was concerned; and if this article proves as salutary upon your readers it will not have been written in vain. THE GALENA, AUGUST 18, 1865.-RECEPTION OF GENERAL GRANT. GALENA AND ITS LEAD MINES. HE lead-bearing region of what was known in Jo-Daviess and Carroll Counties, Illinois; as the "Northwest" before the "course of Dubuque County, Iowa, which included the old empire" had taken its way still farther north-Spanish Mine" of Julien Dubuque; and the ward and westward, and which embraced the counties of Lafayette and Grant, in the State country where was located the first "discovery" of Wisconsin. This is undoubtedly the richest of "lead ore" by the early travelers, afterward lead-bearing region in the world, and the gaknown as the "Spanish Mines" of Upper Lou- lena or sulphuret of lead is of the purest qualiisiana; subsequently the "Fever River Mines," ty known, yielding 86.55 and 13.45 of sulphur and still later the lead mines of the Upper Mis- in 100 parts. It is true that the mines have sissippi, is at present substantially embraced of late years lost something of their importance, Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1866, by Harper and Brothers, in the Clerk's Office of the District Court for the Southern District of New York. VOL. XXXII.-No. 192.-Zz |