Sparks of my faint Reason, and fhall repofe my Self upon Thy mighty Love.

Another time Reflecting upon the Sins, which had been the Effects of his Sickness and Affliction, he endeavours to quiet his Mind, by proposing to it the more dangerous Sins, which generally attend Profperity and Health, You fee, O my Soul, (Jays he) what Sins Sicknefs and Affliction lead you to, (which indeed are 1, and the Lord in Mercy grant me Pardon for them,) but you do not fee to "how much greater, Health and Plenty, Free'dom and Applause, Honour and the good things of this World, wou'd have brought you, had God vouchfafed them. It is not poffible for thee, to have a profpect of thefe; but from the wickedness of thy Heart, thou may'ft guess what wou'd have become of thee, had he dealt with thee with a more 'bountiful Hand, and as he does with fome o'thers. The Child that dare Sin even under · the Rod, what wou'd it have done in the midft of Smiles?

'O Let the confideration of those Sins, from which the goodness of God has kept 'thee, make thee heartily contented with the C way that he hath taken with thee; and ex'ceeding joyful with that Condition, which hath been a means to thee of avoiding any one Sin. It is a Curfed Delufion of the 'Devil, who plunges Souls in Sin, that have begun only to Tamper with it; and draws 'them wholly away from God, who have ⚫ wantonly turn'd a little out of the right Path;

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by making them believe That now their 'Hand is in they may go on that since they ⚫ have begun a Score, it will not much encrease their Guilt, to gratify themselves in the next Enjoyments: The Sum of their Guilt will ' be much the fame, if having gone so far, they 'take t'other Satisfaction in alfo; the fame Repentance will ferve to account for both, and the fame Humiliation to wipe out all, and this Temptation feldom fails to carry it; efpecially when there is a strong Party within, and a predisposition in our Minds by former Commiffions. But O my Soul, let me know that it is Infinite matter of Rejoycing, 'to be fav'd from one Sin; that we who bear upon God's Patience by our Commiffions, 'fhou'd rather than difplease him, fuffer any ་ thing, to avoid one Evil. The contrary is 'the Language of a Heart alineated from God,

and that has forgot the Sweets of his Fa'vour: befides the confequence is more fatal, and feldom terminates in one Sin; but encreafing the Enmity of our Will towards God, difpofes us afterwards to commit the fame, and other Sins, maliciously, and in a 'kind of Defiance to him, which before we ' did out of Weakness and Childish Infirmity. For the First Sins which are committed by a Child of God, are Innocent, in respect of 'the additional Repetitions, which are committed on prefumption of God's reconcileableness, and hopes of Repentance: For this does Two Things; It habituates the Perfon to the Sin, and makes him more powerfully

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difpos'd to it, by a bodily and mental Habit and Inclination: And it raifes in his Mind a Sense of greater Guilt, and by confequence of God's Difpleafure; The effect of which is, that he contracts an Enmity to God; for being habituated and inclin❜d to his Sin, and knowing on the other fide, that God is difpleas'd with him for it, he likewife becomes Angry with God, who stands in the way of his Enjoyment and Gratifying himfelf; and this breeds Enmity to God, which is the conftant Affection of a Sinner, as Love is of a Saint, and nothing more hardens our 'Heart from returning to God, or concludes C us in a state of Sin, than this does; because it makes us Sin maliciously, the Breach is made wide, and Reconciliation not easy; and in the mean time Habits grow Powerful,and they carry away the Soul that is thus 'Eftrang'd from God, with the fame ease,that a Wolf devours a Solitary Sheep that is gone aftray, and quite out of the fight of its Shepherd. It is in the condition of the Ifraelites, when Mofes was fo long in the Mount; As for this Man (and this God) who brought us out of Egypt, we know not what is become of them: Up, let us make other Gods.

Hear, O Lord my God, the Humble Requeft of Thy Unworthy Servant, according as I unfeignedly defire to pour it out before Thee; Let me have Grace to serve Thee Let me be deliver'd from every Sin, and all occafions of Falling; Let me have Grace to $ wait upon Thee with never ceasing Diligence

Diligence, in well-doing in humble, conftant, and earnest Prayer; Let me proceed in Holiness, Exemplarinefs, and all Chriftian Graces; make me Inwardly Sound in refpect of my felf, and Outwardly Influential to all I converse with: that thy Grace may ' be in my Heart and on my Tongue, in my 'Looks and in my Eyes, and shine bright in all my Actions.

Teach me, O my God, the wisdom of 'Salvation, and let me understand Thy Will, ' and way of proceeding in dealing with my • Soul. In all my Sufferings I find that this gives me ease, and makes me able quietly to fubmit, while Thou doft tell my Soul, It is thy Will I fhou'd thus Suffer; For in fubmitting to Thy Will, I hope to please Thee; and in gaining Thy Favour, I gain more than the World can make me lofe. Farewel then all Projects and vain Contrivances; this is the Will of my God, This must be best for my Soul; Here I will stay, and here will I fubmit.

The great Benefit of these severe Tryals, from Sickness and other Afflictions he expreffes in the following Meditation, Compos'd foon after the Former.

"O Lord, Thou didst bring the Wife Hea'then to the knowledge of Thy Son, by the leading of a Star: How carly didft Thou make them partakers of this great 'Bleffing! whofe Minds having duly improv❜d their Natural Light, Thou didst Form by Thy Bleffed Spirit to that degree of Saving C 4 'Hu

< Humility, that they were not offended at the 'meanness of our Saviours Circumstances. "Had not that exceeding great Joy, wherewith they were Tranfported, when they faw the Star Conducting them to the place where · our Saviour lay, buried all Carnal Affections in them, the Pride of their Heart wou'd • have made them have flung back, as Naaman did from Elifha, faying, furely we thought to have found fome great Prince richly Attended, and in defpight of the Heavenly Signal, counted all but a Delufion, and have. refus'd to have fubmitted their reafon to fo 'great Abfurdities: But Thou, O Lord, didft not only enlighten their Eyes, but touch their Hearts, and inflame their Spirits with Heavenly Affections, fo that when they faw the Star, they rejoyced with exceeding great Joy. Thou, O Lord, haft thought fit to Afflict me in divers manners; in Mercy I Trust for the good of my Soul, that thou may'st not Condemn me with the World: But, O Gracicious Lord, while I find my Soul mov'd to Thee by fuch Chaftisements, while I find < each of them to have its natural and due Effect upon my Spirit, while I find my Soul humbled by Reproaches, my Mind drawn off the World, and refign'd to Thee with • humble and contented dependance at Loffes; < while it is thus with me upon each Occafion; 'Let Men contemn and fpeak evil of me; 'Let the News come of the lofs of my Estate or other Calamity, I fhall Rejoyce, O my God, with exceeding great Joy; because it

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