Supposures, hypothetical,

That do but beg, and we may choose

Either to grant them, or refuse.

Much thou hast said, which I know when 1325

And where thou stol'st from other men,

Whereby 'tis plain thy light and gifts
Are all but plagiary shifts;

And is the same that Ranter said,

Who, arguing with me, broke my head, 1330

And tore a handful of my beard:

The self-same cavils then I heard,

When, b'ing in hot dispute about
This controversy, we fell out:

And what thou know'st I answer'd then, 1335
Will serve to answer thee agen.

Quoth Ralpho, Nothing but th' abuse
Of human learning you produce;
Learning, that cobweb of the brain,
Profane, erroneous, and vain ;
A trade of knowledge, as replete
As others are with fraud and cheat;
An art t' incumber gifts and wit,
And render both for nothing fit;

1340

Makes light unactive, dull, and troubled, 1345 Like little David in Saul's doublet:

A cheat that scholars put upon

Other men's reason and their own;
A fort of error, to ensconce
Absurdity and ignorance;
That renders all the avenues
To truth impervious and abstruse,
By making plain things, in debate,
By art perplex'd and intricate:
For nothing goes for sense or light,
That will not with old rules jump right:
As if rules were not in the schools

1350

1355

Deriv'd from truth, but truth from rules.
This Pagan heathenish invention

Is good for nothing but contention.

1360

For as, in sword and buckler fight,

All blows do on the target light;

So when men argue, the great'st part

O' th' contest falls on terms of art,

Until the fustian stuff be spent,

1365

And then they fall to th' argument.

Outrun the constable at last :

Quoth Hudibras, Friend Ralph, thou hast

For thou art fallen on a new
Dispute, as senseless as untrue,
But to the former opposite
And contrary as black to white;
Mere desparata; that concerning
Presbytery; this, human learning;
Two things s' averse, they never yet

1370

1375

But in thy rambling fancy met.

But I shall take a fit occasion

T'evince thee by ratiocination,

Some other time, in place more proper
Than this we're in; therefore lets stop here,
And rest our weary'd bones a while,

Already tir'd with other toil.

1381

1373. Disparata are things separate and unlike, from the Latin word dispare.

101

PART II.-CANTO I.

The Knight, by damnable magician,
Being cast illegally in prison,
Love brings his action on the case,
And lays it upon Hudibras.

How he receives the Lady's visit,
And cunningly solicits his suit,
Which he defers; yet on parole
Redeems him from th' enchanted hole.

BUT now t' observe romantic method,
Let bloody steel awhile be sheathed;
And all those harsh and rugged sounds
Of bastinadoes, cuts, and wounds,
Exchang'd to Love's more gentle style,
To let our reader breathe a while:
In which, that we may be as brief as
Is possible, by way of preface,

Is't not enough to make one strange,

That some men's fancies should ne'er change,10
But make all people do and say

The same things still the self-same way?
Some writers make all ladies purloin'd,
And knights pursuing like a whirlwind:
Others make all their knights, in fits
Of jealousy, to lose their wits;

15

Till drawing blood o' th' dames, like witches,

20

Th' are forthwith cur'd of their capriches.
Some always thrive in their amours,
By pulling plaisters off their sores:
As cripples do to get an alms,
Just so do they, and win their dames.
Some force whole regions, in despite
O' geography, to change their site;
Make former times shake hands with latter, 25
And that which was before come after.

1. The beginning of this Second Part may perhaps seem strange and abrupt to those who do not know that it was written on purpose in imitation of Virgil, who begins the IVth Book of his Eneids in the very same manner, 'At Regina gravi,' &c. And this is enough to satisfy the curiosity of those who believe that invention and fancy ought to be measured (like cases in law) by precedents, or else they are in the power of the critic

But those that write in rhyme, still make
The one verse for the other's sake;
For one for sense, and one for rhyme,
I think's sufficient at one time.

But we forget in what sad plight

We whilom left the captive Knight

And pensive Squire, both bruis'd in body,
And conjur'd into safe custody.

30

Tir'd with dispute and speaking Latin,

35

As well as basting and bear-baiting,
And desperate of any course,
To free himself by wit or force,
His only solace was, that now
His dog-bolt fortune was so low,
That either it must quickly end,
Or turn about again, and mend;
In which he found th' event, no less
Than other times, beside his guess.
There is a tall long-sided dame,
(But wondrous light,) ycleped Fame,
That, like a thin cameleon, boards
Herself on air, and eats her words;
Upon her shoulders wings she wears

40

Like hanging sleeves lin'd through with ears,50
And eyes, and tongues, as poets list,
Made good by deep mythologist:

With these she through the welkin flies,
And sometimes carries truth, oft lies;

55

With letters hung, like eastern pigeons,

And mercuries of farthest regions;
Diurnals writ for regulation

Of lying, to inform the nation;

And by their public use to bring down
The rate of whetstones in the kingdom.
About her neck a pacquet-mail,

60

Fraught with advice, some fresh, some stale,
Of men that walk'd when they were dead,
And cows of monsters brought to bed;
Of hail-stones big as pullets' eggs,

And puppies whelp'd with twice two legs;
A blazing-star seen in the west,
By six or seven men at least.

65

80

Two trumpets she doth sound at once,
But both of clean contrary tones;
But whether both in the same wind,
Or one before, and one behind,
We know not; only this can tell,
The one sounds vilely, th' other well;
And therefore vulgar authors name
Th' one Good, th other Evil, Fame.
This tattling gossip knew too well
What mischief Hudibras befel,
And straight the spiteful tidings bears
Of all to th' unkind widow's ears.
Democritus ne'er laugh'd so loud,
To see bawds carted through the crowd,
Or funerals with stately pomp
March slowly on in solemn dump,
As she laugh'd out, until her back,
As well as sides, was like to crack.
She vow'd she would go see the sight,
And visit the distressed Knight;
To do the office of a neighbour,
And be a gossip at his labour;
And from his wooden jail, the stocks,
To set at large his fetter-locks;
And by exchange, parole, or ransom,
To free him from th' enchanted mansion,
This b'ing resolv'd, she call'd for hood
And usher, implements abroad
Which ladies wear, beside a slender
Young waiting-damsel to attend her.
All which appearing, on she went,
To find the Knight in limbo pent:

Him, and the stout Squire, in the pound;

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110

70

75