The Knight was startled with the smell, 825 And for his sword began to feel; And Ralpho, smother'd with the stink, Grasp'd his; when one that bore a link O' th' sudden clapp'd his flaming cudgel, Like linstock, to the horse's touch-hole; And straight another with his flambeau, CGave Ralpho's o'er the eye a damn'd blow. The beasts began to kick and fling, And forc'd the rout to make a ring,
And as such homely treats (they say)
Portend good fortune, so this may.
Vespasian being daub'd with dirt,
Was destin'd to the empire for't;
And from a scavenger did come
To be a mighty prince in Rome:
And why may not this foul address
Presage in love the same success?
Then let us straight, to cleanse our wounds,
Advance in quest of nearest ponds;
And after (as we first design'd)
Swear I've perform'd what she enjoin'd.
The Knight, with various doubts possest,
To win the Lady goes in quest
Of Sidrophel, the Rosy-crucian,
To know the dest'nies' resolution:
With whom b'ing met, they both chop logie
About the science astrologic:
Till falling from dispute to fight,
The Conj'rer's worsted by the Knight.
DOUBTLESS the pleasure is as great
Of being cheated, as to cheat;
As lookers-on feel most delight,
That least perceive a juggler's sleight;
And still the less they understand,
The more th' admire his sleight of hand.
Some with a noise, and greasy light,
Are snapt, as men catch larks by knight;
Ensnar'd and hamper'd by the soul,
As nooses by the legs catch fowl.
Some with a med'cine, and receipt,
Are drawn to nibble at the bait;
And tho' it be a two-foot trout,
"Tis with a single hair pull'd out.
Others believe no voice t' an organ
So sweet as lawyer's in his bar-gown,
879. C. Cæsar succensens, propter curam verrendis
viis non adhibitam, luto jussit oppleri congesto per mi lites in prætexto sinum. Sueton. in Vespas. c. 5.
Until with subtle cobweb-cheats
Th' are catch'd in knotted law, like nets;
In which, when once they are imbrangled,
The more they stir, the more they're tangled;
And while their purses can dispute,
There's no end of th' immortal suit.
Others still gape t' anticipate
The cabinet-designs of fate;
Apply to wizards to foresee
What shall, and what shall never be ;
And, as those vultures do forebode,
Believe events prove bad or good:
A flam more senseless than the roguery
Of old aruspicy and aug'ry,
That out of garbages of cattle
Presag'd th' events of truce or battle;
From flight of birds, or chickens pecking,
Success of great'st attempts would reckon:
Though cheats, yet more intelligible
Than those that with the stars do fribble.
This Hudibras by proof found true,
As in due time and place we'll shew:
For he, with beard and face made clean,
B'ing mounted on his steed agen
(And Ralpho got a cock-horse too
Upon his beast, with much ado),
Advanc'd on for the Widow's house,
To acquit himself, and pay his vows;
When various thoughts began to bustle,
And with his inward man to justle.
He thought what danger might accrue
If she should find he swore untrue;
Or, if his Squire or he should fail,
And not be punctual in their tale,
It might at once the ruin prove
Both of his honour, faith, and love.
But if he should forbear to go,
She might conclude h' had broke his vow;
And that he durst not now, for shame,
Appear in court to try his claim.
This was the pen'worth of his thought,
To pass time, and uneasy trot,
Quoth he, In all my past adventures
I ne'er was set so on the tenters;
Or taken tardy with dilemma,
That ev'ry way I turn does hem me,
And with inextricable doubt
Besets my puzzled wits about:
For tho' the dame hath been my bail,
To free me from enchanted jail,
Yet as a dog, committed close
For some offence, by chance breaks loose,
And quits his clog, but all in vain,
He still draws after him his chain;
So, though my ankle she has quitted,
My heart continues still committed:
And like a bail'd and mainpriz'd lover,
Altho' at large, I am bound over:
And when I shall appear in court,
To plead my cause, and answer for't,
Unless the judge do partial prove,
What will become of me and love?
For if in our account we vary,
Or but in circumstance miscarry;
Or if she put me to strict proof,
And make me pull my doublet off,
To shew, by evident record
Writ on my skin, I've kept my word;
How can I e'er expect to have her,
Having demurr'd unto her favour?
But faith, and love, and honour lost,
Shall be reduc'd t' a Knight o' th' Post.
Beside, that stripping may prevent
What I'm to prove by argument,
And justify I have a tail;
And that way, too, my proof may fail.
Oh! that I cou'd enucleate,
And solve the problems of my fate;
Or find, by necromantic art,
How far the dest'nies take my part!
For if I were not more than certain
To win and wear her, and her fortune,
I'd go no farther in this courtship,
To hazard soul, estate, and worship:
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