Page images
PDF
EPUB

race.

HORRIBLE DELUSIONS.

BY SYDNEY BYWATER.

WITH AN ILLUSTRATION

BY J. LEECH.

EVERYONE who has visited Brighton must know Trumper TerIt is one of the most quiet localities in the town, and is easily recognised by the green verandahs over the dining-room windows, and by the brilliant brass knobs which ornament the centre of the modest green doors. The small gardens in front are astronomically laid out in full-moons, half-moons, and stars, with neat gravelly ways between them. During the season the houses are let out to emigrants from the metropolis, at proportionably moderate rents, considering that each proprietor keeps a full-buttoned page for the use of the lodgers, who are always persons of the highest respectability, and without "incumbrances " as children are appropriately designated.

If you have half an hour to spare, let me introduce you to Mrs. Abbott, of 48, Trumper Terrace. This is Mrs. Abbott, and a lady of the Gamp school of oratory, full-blown as a peony and nearly as red. Fifty-two, are you not Mrs. Abbott? No-only forty-seven, but parish registers are invariably wrong. I believe you are a widow, and have kept a lodging-house two and twenty years? You have done pretty well at the business? Pretty well. I thought so. You would rather not say how you realized your profits? Very well we have no particular object in inquiring. You have a daughter? Married? Recently I believe? Would you oblige us with the history of her courtship, or at least so much as relates to Mr. Bosberry, your son-inlaw's horrible delusions? I knew you would. We do wish it, upon my honour. I don't mind sitting in a draught, and would rather not take a glass of ginger-wine before dinner. Hem!

"It's two years ago come Tuesday, that I was sitting where you may be now, turning a brown holland sofy cover, for which they charge sixteen pence to wash, whereas only one side was dirty, and I thought I would have the benefit of the one which was not, when Bloomfield, our page as was then, but who is now grown in to Lord Lobsky's family, and wears a sky blue livery, and his hair in powder, perhaps you know 'em? Hem! I thought you might. Well, as I was saying, Bloomfield announces, 'A gentleman to look at the apartments.' I rolled up the sofa cover, and telling him to show the gentleman into the next room, put it into the chiffonière, the very one at your back, sir, and went to the person so announced, and found a very mild gentlemanly young man attired in deep mourning, about threeand-twenty, with a small riding-whip in his hand, and light auburn hair rather inclined to be carroty."

"Mrs. Abbott,' says he.

"Yes, sir,' says I.

"You've apartments to let?'

"Yes, sir,' says I. Two pun' ten a-week, washing extra, including boot-cleaning and attendance, without firing, and the use of the piano.'

666

My name is Mr. Bosberry,' says he, 'and I take your apartments

on those terms, having just lost a distant relation, and shall take possession to-morrow, having received a legacy of considerable amount, and when my man brings my luggage, be kind enough to let a fire be lighted in both rooms."

"Sir, it shall be done,' says I, 'but without a reference or a deposit, I shouldn't like, as it is usual-'

"I beg pardon,' said he, for forgetting it. There's a five-pound note with my name and address on that card, which though it's a country note is as good as the bank of England, and any body knows me in Coleman-street, London.'

And Mr. Bosberry took your apartments, I believe, Mrs. Abbott, and continued to occupy them for many months, during which time he formed an attachment for your daughter Julia, proposed for her, was accepted, and had arranged everything for the joyful occasion, when the circumstances occurred which you will now relate to us. You were about to say that Mr. Bosberry was of rather a jealous temperament, and that on the 12th day preceding the wedding he called you into the room and said-pray go on, Mrs. Abbott.

"Mrs. Abbott,' says he, 'I shall be married in London.'

"In London !' I shrieks, and down I set on that ottoman where Mary has left the dust-pan and a bundle of firewood which you will

excuse.

"Yes, Ma'am,' says Mr. Bosberry, 'for Miss Abbott seems lately, Ma'am, to be holding a daily levee and drawing room of all the male population of Brighton."

"Sir,' says I, of course feeling naturally all my maternal dignity rising in my throat, and choking my utterance, so that I could not speak without coughing, "Julia is above suspicion, and has received from her cradle, as well as five years' board and tuition under Mrs. Roscommon's finishing academy, an education above the ordinary, and which would render her incapable of such conduct as you attribute to that unoffending girl,' who that instant entered the room, and took a seat accordingly. But I fear I'm boring your friend, Mr. Bywater, and as the washerwoman has just drove up to the door in her cart, and I've not made out the book, perhaps you'll tell him the rest and allow me to wish you good morning."

"Good morning, Mrs. Abbott."

"So if you'll stroll with me to the pier I will continue this disjointed narrative."

Bosberry was resolute, he vowed they should leave Brighton on the morrow or he would do something desperate. The ladies were fain to succumb, and Mrs. Abbott, with an eye to business, stuck up in the window a bill of 'Apartments to let,' within an hour of the foregoing conversation.

"Bloomfield," exclaimed Bosberry, "say Miss Abbott is out, say I am out to every body that calls to-day."

Rat-tat-tat, went the knocker instantly, as though to test the page's fidelity.

"Out, sir, all on 'em out, sir," said Bloomfield in a very loud voice. "Indeed! Tell Mr. Bosberry that Mr. Jackson called," said the visitor, and bang went the door.

"Jackson! I lent him ten pounds yesterday, and he's called to pay me. Here! Hi! Jackson, old boy," cried Bosberry from the

verandah: "At home to you, of course. Here, come in at the window; give me your hand; up you are!" and Mr. Jackson was handed in accordingly.

"He had called to discharge his obligation; there was the note. Bosberry went into an inner room to place the money in his desk, and judge of his horror, when, reflected in the mirror he saw Jackson whispering to Julia, Julia smiling on Jackson, and both affectionately pressing the hands of each other. In a state of mind more easily imagined than described' he returned into the front room, and, with a smile as ghastly as a gorgon's, requested Jackson to take some wine. "No wine, thank you,' said Jackson, but if my dear young friend would favour me with a cup of coffee, I should be greatly obliged.' "Viper!' thought Bosberry; but I won't be done; he shall not stop here. Jackson,' said he, sotto voce, I have a most particular appointment with Captain Hamstringer, and Julia detests him so much, that I know not how to get away. It is already five minutes past the hour. Can you take me out?"

"I'll do it,' said Jackson, winking violently at Bosberry. By the bye, I have just parted from old Bonus, our director; he told me he wished to see you immediately; I quite forgot to name it before. You'll find him at The Ship.' Now make no stranger of me,' continued Jackson, in answer to Bosberry's negative gesticulations; 'go, I insist upon it,' and half by force, half by persuasion, the unhappy man was compelled to leave the house in possession of the enemy. "Jackson remained in earnest conversation with Julia for something more than an hour, when again pressing her hand to his lips he took his departure. How happy that conversation had made Julia !

"Jackson had just left the house, when a sort of a gentleman applied to see the apartments. The applicant was very showily dressed, and might have served as the embodiment of one of those poetical advertisements (the tailor very properly invoking the nine) of Schneider art which daily tempt the unwary. A naval cap anchored and laced, was placed jauntily on one side of his head, and contrasted somewhat oddly with the brass spurs which adorned the heels of his boots. Bloomfield, who always acted as groom of the chamber (until the appearance of a nibble, when his mistress was ordered to be summoned), was delighted with him. He thought him 'a perfect gent,' and as such looked forward to much fun and many stray sixpences. The stranger seemed particularly pleased with all the arrangements, especially admiring the weight of the forks and spoons, which Bloomfield assured him was real silver, and none of your 'lectrifying, which took all the steam out of a boy to make 'em look decent.' Mr. Bosberry's gold watch on the mantel-piece was also honoured with the stranger's warmest commendations; and Bloomfield had the interest of the establishment too much at heart to inform the gentleman that the watch did not go with the lodgings.

[ocr errors]

"Let me see your missis,' said the stranger; if we can hagree about terms, I think the hapartments will do.' Bloomfield rushed from the room delighted. The stranger was evidently a genius, for the moment the boy had gone he performed three rapid acts of eccentricity. He twisted the bolt from the French window; he drained Mr. Bosberry's decanter which stood upon the table, and appropriated that gentleman's best hat, which by chance was on the

sideboard! He also looked wistfully at the watch, the spoons, and the forks, and shrugging his shoulders muttered, 'No, not now;— them lodging-house keepers have heyes like 'awks.'

Mrs. Abbott requested the stranger's presence in the parlour, where all matters of business must have been speedily arranged, as very shortly after the eccentric gentleman was seen to borrow the contents of an old gentleman's pocket,-the said old gentleman being at the time up to his eyes in the parliamentary debate on the corn laws.

But where was Bosberry? Flitting round and about Trumper Terrace like a perturbed spirit. He had watched Jackson leave the house; he had noted every minute of his stay; he had seen "the eccentric" enter the once happy No. 48; had seen him in the parlour, had of course placed him to the account of the faithless Julia. But he had not seen pretty little Julia Johnson (Mrs. Abbott's cousin and namesake) at the door, and heard her give the faintest rat-a-tat imaginable.

"Oh, Julia!" exclaimed Julia number two, as she rushed into the arms of J. number one, "Jackson has told you all; I have just received his note — here it is; and he tells me his father has consented to our being married in a month, and that John would meet me here at 9 o'clock, and there he is,-I'm sure that 's his knock." It was Jackson sure enough. Bosberry saw him! One hour ten minutes and thirty-nine seconds did Bosberry watch for his departure, but in vain. At the fortieth second he-but we must not anticipate

events.

"We can never thank you enough, dear Julia,' said Jackson, again pressing Miss Abbott's hands to his lips; but for you how few would have been our meetings; but now all will be well; in a month she will be mine, never to be separated from me but by death! Oh, Julia !-&c. &c. &c.'

"There, see him to the door, do," said Miss Abbott; "of course you have something to say to each other; but, dearest, wrap my shawl over your head, there's a dreadful draught in our passage,Mr. Bosberry nearly caught his death there before we were quite engaged." And the considerate girl bounded up to the second floor like a-like a-bird.

Miss Abbott was right, Jackson and his Julia had much to say on their way to the street door; and it was during their "happy converse" that Bosberry's patience exhausted itself.

"By jo! I will know the worst!" he exclaimed; "she's a flirt -a coquette; I will listen at the keyhole-anything to bring detection home to her. Ah! the balcony!" And stealthily as a cat he clambered into the dining-room.

All was still the last streak of sunlight was fading in the horizon. Bosberry could not discern the objects in the room; he lighted a taper. The first thing which struck him was the exhausted decanter. "Well, that's-"but utterance was denied him. The next object which caught his attention was the eccentric gentleman's abandoned cap. Bosberry shook with rage and agony. 'Another admirer! Oh, Ju-' and the word stuck as fast in his throat as a fish-bone; for at that moment he heard voices at the street door. What was that?-a kiss! he crept to the window, and

there he saw the perfidious Jackson again attempt to embrace a figure enveloped in a shawl. Ah! he knew that shawl too well-the gaslight showed him the pattern; a pale blue pine-apple on a white ground! He gave it to Julia on her last birth-day. He staggered almost insensible from the window, and buried his face in the sofa pillow.

"Bloomfield !"

"Hark! that's her voice!"

"Take this letter to the Bedford Hotel, and if the gentleman is within wait for an answer."

"What gentleman ought she to know at the Bedford?" mentally ejaculated the distracted Bosberry. "What's this? My writing case! Yes, and here, on the blotting paper, is" (and he held the tell-tale sheet before the candle) " T-h-o-s. B-1-a-c-k, E-s-q.-B-e--d-f—," and he read no more.

"Some one must be sacrificed," he exclaimed, hastily producing a brace of pistols, and proceeding to load them, "there must be a wretch in the house now-if he 's not too big I will immolate him on the altar of- Zounds! I've rammed a nut into the pistol instead of a bullet- no matter and now there's the taper gone out — but revenge is sweet. Why did I love her-why?" and throwing himself on the sofa, he continued, for upwards of an hour, to upbraid himself vainly and incoherently.

"What's that? a man in the balcony ?"

Yes, it was the eccentric gentleman returned no doubt (as he assured Bosberry) with a bull's eye lantern to look for the cap he had so strangely left behind him.

Bosberry's calmness was getting awful.

"Sir," said he, "this subterfuge shall not save you this sort of thing is getting unbearable-I must take some decisive steps-your card, sir.'

The eccentric gentleman seemed puzzled by this request, but after a moment's hesitation, produced a card-case, and handed the required pasteboard to Bosberry, who read aloud firmly and distinctly the name of "THOMAS BLACK."

"Enough," said Bosberry, "I understand the purport of your visit -take your choice, sir, (and he pointed to the pistols on the table,) for I am desperate."

"What do you mean, I haint agoing to fight," exclaimed the stranger, "Call the perlice if you like, but no fire-harms-I don't resist."

"Coward," said Bosberry, with more dignity than he had before exhibited, "I demand SATISFACTION!"

"Satisfaction! the man's a hass," replied the stranger, seizing a pistol, “Come, let me go, Mister-I haint a going to be shot at neither."

"Never, I shall-" cried Bosberry, but recollecting that one of the pistols only was loaded with ball, he altered the proposed form of the sentence into "shall it be said that I took a mean advantage of an enemy. You may go, sir-to-morrow you shall hear from me-but I'll trouble you for that pistol, as I do not wish to spoil the pair."

"Don't you," said the eccentric stranger, making a retrrogade

VOL. XXIV.

D

« PreviousContinue »