THE GOLDEN FLEECE.

BY GEORGE HODDER.

WITH AN ILLUSTRATION

BY J. LEECH.

I HAVE been occupied all night and the greater part of the morning in thinking how I should commence this paper, and the only cause of my having experienced so much difficulty is, that I deemed it necessary to give the reader some account of the birth, parentage, and education of "our hero;" whereas, had I made up my mind to plunge, like Horace, Catnach, and other epic poets, in medias res, I might have got half way through my story, without rendering myself liable to the charge of being slow. Having said thus much, I shall endeavour to compromise matters, by explaining as briefly as possible what my friend is, and leaving the reader to guess what he was, which he really must do, for it is quite out of my power to tell him. Mr. Morley Raff is a gentleman of large connections and small means. Having lived upon the former as long as propriety allowed him, he is now compelled to fall back upon the latter, and he is often sorely inconvenienced in his endeavours to preserve an independent footing in society, for somehow or other, a inan who receives a hundred and fifty pounds a year, and spends three hundred in six months, stands upon very tottering ground. Report says that Mr. Raff was once a man of property; but as Mr. Raff has always been his " own reporter," I do not believe the statement. is quite clear that his property is neither here nor there, and I think it may be as safely said it is nowhere: he is, however, a very agreeable sort of a fellow, and as a man's passport to society is the coat he wears, it is a matter of very little consequence how he becomes possessed of it. Mr. Raff is amongst that large class of bachelors who spend the greater part of their time, and all their money, in taverns; but he is, nevertheless, addicted to that kind of society where the fumes of tobacco give place to the perfume of flowers, and where the noisy song of conviviality is avoided for the gentle music of love. (There is a touch of the romantic in this sentence which I never intended, but let it pass!) In short, the drawingroom is no less his sphere than the parlour; and although he never meddles with politics, he is essentially a "party man," for all parties are open to him. He never refuses an invitation, provided he thinks it may be the means of saving him a breakfast or a dinner; and he is very fond of all sorts of festive ceremonies, such as weddings, picnic parties, and other family réunions, which begin with merry-making, and end in disappointment or disaster,

It

At the time whereof I write, Mr. Morley Raff had accepted an engagement of considerable importance, not so much to himself, but to his intimate friend and schoolfellow Archibald Archer, who, having resolved to give up a life of single blessedness for the cares of wedlock, was desirous that Raff should be present at his marriage ceremony in the capacity of bridegroom's attendant. It was much against his creed to play so conspicuous a part in a scene which was to rob him of the companionship of one of his best and

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earliest friends; but he nevertheless undertook the task, thinking it might be in his power to afford the bridegroom the consolation he would require on such an occasion. Accordingly Mr. Ruff put himself under immediate training for a grand display of attractions, for he seemed determined that there should be some difficulty in distinguishing him from the veritable bridegroom. He prevailed upon a confiding tailor at the West-end to make him a wedding suit, whose component parts were a plum-coloured coat with metal buttons, surmounted by a dancing lion, a pair of white kerseymere trousers, and a waistcoat whose brilliant qualities would have sparkled even at the board of green cloth. "With these decorations," thought Raff, "what a sensation I shall create amongst the fair bridesmaids!" In his opinion it would be impossible to withstand such attractions, and he felt that the eventful morning on which the doom of poor Archer was to be irrevocably fixed, would see him predestined to a similar fate! Spinsters are caught by a glittering outside, as moths are attracted by the flame of a candle. Yes, he had hitherto escaped matrimony, but when he donned his new equipments, and surveyed his person in the glass, he could not help thinking that the days of his bachelorhood were numbered;-the wings of Cupid where fluttering about him, and the torch of Hymen was blazing in the distance!

On the morning before the wedding-day he received the following letter from his friend Archy, who was not aware of the grand preparations he had been making for the occasion:

"DEAR MORley,

"TO-MORROW at ten! Don't forget, there's a good fellow, and if you value my friendship, as I am sure you do, pray avoid the tavern to-night, and go to bed in such a condition that you may get up fresh in the morning, otherwise the consequences may be extremely hurtful to Your anxious friend,

"ARCHY ARCHER. "P.S. Take my advice, and cut that sinner. Larkins,—he never goes to bed at all."

The anxious bridegroom thought it absolutely necessary to give his friend the hint conveyed in this letter, for he was well aware of Raff's predilection for the late hour system; and Raff was not offended at receiving the hint, because he knew that it was deserved; and, entre nous, he was in Archer's debt to the amount of a few pounds. He, therefore, resolved to act upon the advice, and to avoid going anywhere in the course of the day where it was likely he might meet any of his social companions. He moreover ordered his dinner to be provided at home, as the best security against his visiting the tavern, for he felt that it was absolutely necessary for him to place himself beyond the reach of temptation. Having finished his solitary meal, (which he did not at all relish, for, on the last occasion that he had been induced to dine in his own rooms he was nearly poisoned by his landlady's cookery,) he went out to make a few purchases incidental to the coming event-such as a present for the bride, a few sundries for himself, and a bouquet for each of the bridesmaids, amongst whom he intended to create a profound sensation.

Between eight and nine o'clock in the evening he returned towards

home, and was within a short distance of his own door when he encountered Phil. Larkins, the very man whom he had been requested to avoid, and Ned Golightly, two of his most intimate friends, who soon proved by the thumps they gave him on his back how much they esteemed his merit (to adopt one of Cowper's definitions of friendship). He would as soon have met a sheriff's officer, or a dishonoured bill at that moment, but fate was against him, and he manifested no regret at seeing his two friends. They insisted upon his accompanying them to the place of their midnight carousals, and it was in vain he made a variety of excuses for preferring to go home. He might as well have attempted to convince a schoolboy of the necessity of corporal punishment, as to make those reckless Bacchanalians believe that he had any sound reason for avoiding their society. "Be happy while you can, and merry while you may," was their motto, and on the present occasion they had evidently determined to act up to it. Raff was, therefore, persuaded to abandon his virtuous inclinations, and in the course of a very few minutes he was safely ensconced behind a glass of pine-apple punch in the coffeeroom of the " Cat and Fiddle," which it is as well the reader should know is situated in one of those populous streets between Whitechapel and St. James' Park. This was a grand night at the "Cat and Fiddle." Glass after glass was ordered, the song went round, toasts were proposed and drank, and vows of eternal friendship pledged at the altar of Bacchus. Mr. Morley Raff made two or three efforts to leave the festive scene, but his friends Larkins and Golightly effectually prevented him by concealing his hat, or pinning him so closely in a corner that he could not move.

The evening's amusements did not terminate till daylight peeped in at the shutters to warn the company that the sun would be up before they went to bed. To say that any of the men were sober would be to undervalue the potency of the liquors they had imbibed; and, moreover, I am bound, as a faithful historian, to tell the truth. As to poor Raff, he was so completely in nubibus at the time the party broke up, that he had quite lost all thought of the wedding, and his moral intentions had long been drowned in the bowl. According to their usual custom, Larkins, Golightly, and Raff, walked, or rather rolled home together, but, from the circuitous course they took, it would have been a matter of extreme difficulty to decide in which direction their homes were situated.

They amused themselves on the road after the fashion which is, or was at the period in question, too often adopted by people under similar circumstances. After sounding innumerable bells and wrenching off several knockers, they were suddenly brought to a stand-still opposite to a linendraper's shop in Tottenham-Court Road.

"What are you going to do now, Phil.?" said Morley, observing that Larkins had conceived some mischievous idea, which he had stopped to carry into execution.

"Are you game for a grand finishing touch to the night's entertainment?" said Larkins, supporting himself against a lamp-post, and indulging in a loud fit of laughter, which his companions were at a loss to comprehend.

"What is it, eh?" inquired Golightly. "You are not going to propose a burglary, I hope?"

"Not quite so bad as that," replied Larkins; "we had better confine ourselves to outdoor work. Would you like to capture a prize, Morley?"

"If it's anything to eat I should not mind," said Morley, “for I'm as hungry as an alderman's dog."

"Do you see that respectable-looking animal over the doorway, there?" exclaimed Larkins.

"What, that melancholy old sheep, that looks as if he had been fattened upon saffron!" said Raff; "I have known him for the last ten years."

"

"Poor devil! he has been long enough in his present position to be a prey to all weathers," cried Golightly, uttering one of those miserable puns which drunkenness alone could excuse.

"They call it the Golden Fleece, eh?" said Larkins, 'referring to the name by which the linendraper had dignified his establishment; "can't we manage to carry it off without being observed?"

"Rather dangerous work," replied Morley; "I should not like to be the Jason on the occasion.”

"It will be an act of mercy," said Larkins, "to rescue the unfortunate animal from his perilous situation."

"Come on then," cried Golightly, "I'm your man. Are there any policemen in the way?"

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No, there never are when they are likely to be wanted," said Larkins, whose long experience in police-courts and station-houses ought to have led him to a different conclusion respecting the guardians of the public peace.

"Here, give me a lift up," continued Golightly, and he put himself in such a position that Larkins and Raff might, by supporting him on their shoulders, enable him to tear the "Golden Fleece" from the iron bar to which it was suspended. How he contrived to accomplish this difficult feat was a matter of some surprise to Raff, but the fear that unfortunate gentleman was in lest they should be discovered (for by this time a portion of the intoxicating fluid with which his brain was charged had slightly evaporated), prevented him from making any inquiries.

"Now then," said Larkins and Golightly, as they handed the fleece down, and threw it on the ground, "take hold of it, Morley, and carry it away as fast as you can." Whereupon they placed the golden curiosity (which, be it understood, was made of nothing but hollow wood, and was, therefore, less weighty than might be imagined), on Raff's shoulders, and then covering it with his cloak, they walked close behind him until within a few yards of his own domicile. When he arrived at the door, he discovered that his fellow-culprits had disappeared, leaving him to take charge of the spoil without reserving any share to themselves. However, the worst part of the danger being over, Morley did not stop to reflect upon the disinterested conduct of his companions, but opened the door and safely deposited the golden fleece in his own sitting-room.

He went to bed, and for some time lay awake reflecting upon what had passed, and taking counsel of his conscience as to whether he had committed an offence for which he might be amenable to the law. His brain was in a complete whirl, and so rapidly did his thoughts run from one subject to another, that he could not arrive at any satisfactory conclusion. At length he tried to forget the past,