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Never. Ah! dear madam, let the matter fall; take pity on poor miss; don't throw water on a drowned


Miss. Indeed, Mr. Neverout, you should be cut for the simples this morning; say a word more and you had as good eat your nails.

Spark. Pray, miss, will you be so good as to favour us with a song?

Miss. Indeed, my lord, I can't; for I have a great cold.

Col. O! miss, they say all good singers have colds. Spark. Pray, madam, does not miss sing very well?

Lady A. She sings, as one may say, my lord. Miss. I hear Mr. Neverout has a very good voice. Col. Yes, Tom sings well, but his luck's naught. Never. Faith, colonel, you hit yourself a devilish box on the ear.

Col. Miss, will you take a pinch of snuff?

Miss. No, colonel, you must know that I never take snuff but when I am angry.

Lady A. Yes, yes, she can take snuff, but she has never a box to put it in.

Miss. Pray, colonel, let me see that box.

Col. Madam, there's never a C upon it.

Miss. Maybe there is, colonel.

Col. Ay, but May bees don't fly now, miss.

Never. Colonel, why so hard upon poor miss?

Miss, give me a

Don't set your wit against a child.

blow, and I'll beat him.

Miss. So she prayed me to tell you.

Spark. Pray, my lady Smart, what kin are you to lord Pozz?


Lady S. Why, his grandmother and mine had four elbows.

Lady A. Well, methinks here's a silent meeting. Come, miss, hold up your head, girl; there's money bid for you. [Miss starts. Miss. Lord, madam, you frighten me out of my

seven senses !

Spark. Well, I must be going.

Lady A. I have seen hastier people than you stay all night.

Col. [To lady Smart.] Tom Neverout and I are to leap to-morrow for a guinea.

Miss. I believe, colonel, Mr. Neverout can leap at a crust better than you.

Never. Miss, your tongue runs before your wit: nothing can tame you but a husband.

Miss. Peace! I think I hear the church-clock. Never. Why, you know, as the fool thinksLady S. Mr. Neverout, your handkerchief's fallen. Miss. Let him set his foot on it, that it mayn't fly in his face.

Never. Well, miss

Miss. Ay, ay; many a one says well that thinks


Never. Well, miss, I'll think on this.

Miss. That's rhyme, if you take it in time.

Never. What! I see you are a poet.

Miss. Yes, if I had but the wit to show it.

Never. Miss, will you be so kind as to fill me a dish of tea?

Miss. Pray let your betters be served before you; I'm just going to fill one for myself; and, you know, the parson always christens his own child first.

Never. But I saw you fill one just now for the colonel: well, I find kissing goes by favour.

Miss. But pray, Mr. Neverout, what lady was that you were talking with in the side-box last Tuesday? Never. Miss, can you keep a secret ?

Miss. Yes, I can.

Never. Well, miss, and so can I.

Col. Odd-so! I have cut my thumb with this cursed knife!

Lady A. Ay; that was your mother's fault, because she only warned you not to cut your fingers.

Lady S. No, no; 'tis only fools cut their fingers, but wise folks cut their thumbs.

Miss. I'm sorry for it, but I can't cry.
Col. Don't you think miss is grown?
Lady A. Ay, ill weeds grow apace.

A puff of smoke comes down the chimney. Lady A. Lord, madam, does your ladyship's chimney smoke?

Col. No, madam; but they say smoke always pursues the fair, and your ladyship sat nearest.

Lady S. Madam, do you love bohea tea?

Lady A. Why, madam, I must confess I do love it, but it does not love me.

Miss. [To lady Smart.] Indeed, madam, your ladyship is very sparing of your tea; I protest, the last I took was no more than water bewitch'd.

Col. Pray, miss, if I may be so bold, what lover gave you that fine etui ?

Miss. Don't you know?-then keep counsel.

Lady A. I'll tell you, colonel, who gave it her: it was the best lover she will ever have while she livesher own dear papa.

Never. Methinks, miss, I don't much like the colour of that ribbon.

Miss. Why, then, Mr. Neverout, do you see, if you don't much like it, you may look off it.

Spark. I don't doubt, madam, but your ladyship has heard that sir John Brisk has got an employment at


Lady S. Yes, yes; and I warrant he thinks himself no small fool now.

Never. Yes, madam ; I have heard some people take him for a wise man.

Lady S. Ay, ay; some are wise, and some are otherwise.

Lady A. Do you know him, Mr. Neverout?

Never. Know him! ay, as well as the beggar knows his dish.

Col. Well, I can only say that he has better luck than honester folks. But, pray, how came he to get his employment?

Spark. Why, by chance, as the man killed the devil. Never. Why, miss, you are in a brown study: what's the matter? Methinks you look like Mumchance, that twas hanged for saying nothing.

Miss. I'd have you to know, I scorn your words. Never. Well, but scornful dogs will eat dirty puddings.

Miss. Well, my comfort is, your tongue is no slander. What! you would not have one be always on the high grin?

Never. Cry mapsticks, madam; no offence, I hope.


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