of fcripture would often occur to my mind, "be ye alfo ready;" but with all the refolution in my power I ftrove to banish the idea far from me. I tho't I would meditate on divine things and prepare myself for death when old. I had feveral checks of conscience, but still I refifted every soft invitation; and my heart would fay, "what have I to do with thee? I befeech thee torment me not."

After fome time I loft those serious reflections, and trusted in my own ftrength, and refted fecure. On being alarmed at a very fudden death of a young perfon, it convinced me I must die; I found I never before believed, I should die myself. Shocked at the tho't, I looked to the right hand and to the left for a way to escape, but, alas! a dreadful found was in my ears. "You must die—you are not prepared-you are not ready and yet you must die;" nor could I get free from these dreadful ideas. Surprised at a heart full of enmity to God; and funk at a sense of my guilt, in this distress of mind, I knew not what to do. Yet in compliance with my promise that I would attend, and as I was yet fpared alive, and taking fome encouragement from these words, "afk and ye shall receive," I tho't I could do fomething acceptable; but in the attempt, I found I could do nothing. All my righteousness became as filthy rags; ftript naked, I had nothing to offer to atone for my fins. My heart was in direct rebellion against my Maker, and I began to accufe him of being a hard Master, "reaping where he had not fown, and gathering where he had not strawed!" In this agitation of mind I could not see myself to be blamed. That the Lord was no refpecter of perfons, and yet had elected fome to everlasting life, was quite myfterious and dark; nor could I fee the confiftency of God's deal. ings towards mankind, and yet be ftyled a juft God. Not willing the Lord fhould know the awful language of my heart, in the extreme anguish of my mind, I could not endure the all feeing eye of my Judge. Although held bound in his hands, yet with the ftrongeft efforts imaginable I ftrove to get out of his hands, and fcreen myfelf from his prefence! Not willing the Lord fhould rule, fain would I have dethroned him, and have taken the reins of government in my own hands; faying, "I will not have this man to reign over me." In this outrageous oppofition of heart, a fecret fomething, beyond my utmost faculty to describe or conceive, broke in on my mind foft as the gentle breath of zephyrs, it whispered peace to my foul. I was hufhed-my eyes were opened-I found it was I myself that was in the fault. That which was once No. 7. Vol. II. dark,

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dark, was then opened plain to my view. Struck dumb-I could not open my mouth, in my own defence. I saw that I was justly condemned, nor could I expect mercy. It cannot be juft in God, thought I, to pardon fo great a finner! If I was caft into mifery, I tho't I could praife him forever. I could not fpeak, for it appeard to me I was a child. Helpless as an infant, weary and heavy laden, I funk in the arms of Chrift to be entirely at his difpofal. If I was loft, I tho't it would be more for the glory of God, therefore I could acquiefce in it with entire refignation, " even fo Father, for fo it seemeth good in thy fight." Here I found I rested sweetly, as babes fleep in the arms of parents. These words came to my mind, "The Lord reigns, let the earth rejoice, let the multitude of the ifles be glad thereof." They were words of confolation to me. I wondered at the ferenity of my mind, and thought I was left to myself becaufe I had groved the heavenly Dove. Sometimes I had a faint hope that my peace was made with God, but when I confidered the tree was known by its fruits, and the heart was deceitful, I tho't I had no grounds for hope. Since that, I have cherished a thought that the Lord has been pleafed to enlighten my foul, and I hope and truft I have had confolation and joy unfpeakable. In view of profeffing religion, thefe words came to my mind, "He that is afhamed of me, of him will the Son of man be afhamed"-" He that knoweth his Mafter's will, and doth it not, fhall be beaten with many ftripes"" Now also the ax is laid unto the root of the tree."

I ardently defire to be enabled to do whatever appears to be duty. Weak and frail as I am, fain would I beg to be reckoned as one of the hired fervants, not worthy to be confidered as one of the children. While I live may I enjoy your

prayers.

Diftria of Maine, Sept. 1804.

R. P.

NEW

NEW YEAR'S DAY REFLECTIONS.

'AVING obtained help of God, I continue to this day.

condefcenfion of the Lamb of God, in his incarnation, and in the affumption of a human foul, our holy brother, into union with the uncreated, eternal Word, the fecond perfon of the adorable Trinity. A moft venerable mystery!

I have, this day, been reviewing the feries of the divine goodness to me, ever fince my birth. How graciously hath my heavenly Father dealt with me! Blefs the Lord, O my foul! and forget not all his benefits. God hath fo ordered, that I have spent my life, from my earliest youth, among books; but the most valuable knowledge, which I have obtained, is not the mathematical and philofophical sciences; not the ancient learned languages; not ecclefiaftical hiftory, and the hiftory of nations and empires; not the knowledge of law, and the political conftitutions of Europe:--but that, in which I have found the greatest entertainment and fatisfaction, is, the knowledge of Jefus Christ, and the redemption of the crofs. The facred oracles open the most wonderful difcoveries, and enlarged views, of the auguft councils of infinite wifdom and grace. Through the blood of the crofs, Jefus has laid the foundation of our reconciliation, and union alfo, to the Divinity. Glorious falvation this! God manifeft in the flesh, feen of angels, taken up to glory. Of the bleffed Jefus I am an unworthy minifter. O that I could serve him equal to his deferts from man! But, alas! what little fervour have I, in the fervice of fo glorious a Mafter! When I review my miniftry, it has been fo poor and mean, so selfish, so unfaithful, fo little animated with the fpirit and great cause of Chrift, fo filled with neglect, ill conduct, and imperfection, that I bluth to think of a reward from a Maf ter, to whom I owe my all; and can think of nothing but of going to receive (if I can efcape rebuke) mercy and forgivenefs only, if poffible, for doing his work fo poorly. The good Lord pardon me for Jefus' fake; and lay not iniquity to my charge. O that I may be quickened by his grace, and enlivened in fo glorious a work, as teftifying the grace of God to a finful world, the remaining moments of my life! I rejoice that God fo ordered it in his providence, that I was put into the ministry:

miniftry: I delight in the fervice-But fhudder at the thoughts of the reckoning. This accounting for the blood of fouls, laid to the charge of an ungracious, an unfaithful ministry, is awful and tremendous. In the view of this, O Jefus! I fly to thy holy facrifice, thy all-atoning blood. May I be refolved, more and more, to stand in the lot affigned, not in my own weakness, but in the ftrength of thy grace, without which I am, and shall be, nothing. Direct my miniftrations, and give efficacy to them; that, teftifying repentance toward God, and faith in our Lord Jefus Chrift, I may perfuade at leaft fome few of this world of millions of rebels to be reconciled to God.

When I review my life, from my earliest years to this day, I find it filled with the care, protection and goodness of Heavenfilled with infirmities of body and mind-filled with imperfection and fin. My fins are fo numerous, so constant, so prevailing, and fo uncontrollable, that I am covered with remorfe and confufion. I know that the atonement and merits of my Redeemer are all-fufficient; and fo they are for all the miferable in hell. But, the imperfections, follies, and iniquities of my life, and of my very heart, excite in me great doubts and fears, left I fhall prove a caft-away. I keep up, indeed, a conftant, daily, and unremitted course of prayer, reading of the Scriptures, meditation, and mental devotion; and am habitually feeking God's grace, and energetic influence, to enlighten and fanctify me. But, alas! how little progress do I make in religion !

O

INTERESTING INCIDENT.

N the evening that the Hottentots were in the Scots Church, in Swallow Street, a negro boy, about fifteen years old, anxious to fee the converts to Christianity from his quarter of the world, of whom every body was speaking, preffed through the crowd, and, at length, reached the veftry-door. The service had closed; and the Hottentots were taking a little wine with the minifter and friends, who were standing around them. The moment that Mary's eye caught the face of the boy, fhe flew to him, took him eagerly to her arms, fondled over him with much maternal affection; and Martha having now come forward, they put fome questions to him in Dutch, repeated them again and again with great earnestness of manner, and

feemed

feemed much disappointed at his giving them no answer. Recollecting, at last, that the lad did not understand Dutch, Mary haftened to her minifter, Mr. Kicherer, brought him to the boy, requesting him to put the queftion to him in English. He did fo. The question which they had, with fo much concern, been addreffing to the negro boy, was, "Do you love the Lord Jefus Christ? Do you love the Lord Jefus Chrift?"— The poor boy who, may be, had heard little of Jefus Chrift, fave in the blafphemies of nominal profeffors, looked blank, confused, and gave no answer. Their mortification was extreme; their countenances fell; they were grieved to find a native of Africa, who had enjoyed the privileges of this country, unacquainted with the Redeemer.-Reader, thou haft long enjoyed these fpiritual privileges! How ftands thy heart affected to the Son of God?-Liften to the following awful words, as if feven thunders uttered their voices :-"If any man love not the Lord Jefus Chrift, let him be anathema maranatha."

WORLDLY ATTACHMENTS UNNECESSARY.

T is reported by the Rabbinical writers, that Melchifedec, that he had yet 500 years to live,-answered, That for so short a time it was not worth the labour.

Whether this story be true or false, we may learn from it the exceffive folly of modern worldlings, who muft calculate their lives, not by hundreds of years,-but by the day, by the span, by the inch, and yet are as folicitous about worldly matters, as if they were fure of ages to come!

"Lord! make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, what it is, that I may know how frail I am!"

ANECDOTE.

THE Gospel having been fent, by Lady Huntingdon's influence, to a place of public refort, it pleafed God to bring nearly all the domeftic fervants of a noble perfónage under

ferious