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XVII. Hermes relates to Apollo the adultery of Ares and
Aphrodite, and the revenge of Hephaestus
XVIII. Hera denounces, and Zeus defends, the character of
Bacchus.
XIX. Eros explains to his mother why he does not assail
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Athena, the Musæ, and Artemis
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XX. The Judgment of Paris
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XXI. Ares ridicules the threat of Zeus, and the Chain let
down from heaven.
XXII. Pan urges his claims to be the son of Hermes, who
is unwilling to admit his paternity
XXIII. Apollo remarks to Bacchus on the heterogeneousness
of Aphrodite's children; while Bacchus exposes
the character of Priapus
XXIV. Hermes complains to his mother of the multiplicity
of his employments
XXV. Helios, accused by Zeus of rash conduct in giving up
his chariot to his son, obtains a conditional pardon
XXVI. Apollo asks Hermes to point out to him, of the twin
Dioscuri which is Kastor, and which Polydeukes ;
and takes the opportunity of criticizing their divine
pretensions
DIALOGUES OF THE SEA-GODS.
I. Doris ridicules the figure and manners of Polyphemus,
the lover of Galateia.
II. Polyphemus complains to Poseidon, his father, of his
treatment at the hands of Odysseus.
III. Poseidon questions Alpheius, a river-god, respecting
his amour with the nymph Arethusa.
IV. Menelaus expresses to Proteus his incredulity in regard
to the alleged miraculous transformations of that di-
vinity
V. Panope relates to Galene the scene of the introduction
of the golden apple by Eris into the nuptial feast of
Peleus and Thetis, the discord between the three
rival Goddesses, and their dismissal to Mount Ida for
judgment
VI. The rape of Amymone by Poseidon
VII. Zephyrus recounts to Notus the metamorphosis and
adventures of Io
VIII. At Poseidon's request, the dolphins narrate to him the
story of Arion's escape
IX. Poseidon and Amphitrite dispute as to the fitting place
of burial for Helle, drowned in the Hellespont. Po-
seidon directs the Nereids to take up her body, and
bury it in the Troad
X. Iris conveys to Poseidon the commands of Zeus that he
should keep the island of Delos stationary, where
Leto was to lie-in
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XI. The river Xanthus supplicates Thalassa (the Sea) to
receive him, and cure the burns inflicted upon him by
Hephaestus on behalf of Achilleus
XII. Thetis relates to Doris the story of the exposure of
Danae and her infant, Perseus.
XIII. Enipeus reproaches Poseidon with the fraudulent seduc- tion of the nymph Tyro. Poseidon excuses himself
XIV. A Triton relates to the Nereids the story of the rescue
of Andromeda by Perseus.
XV. Zephyrus relates to Notus the manner of the rape of
Europa, and the marine pomp with which she was
conducted to her nuptials with Zeus.
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD.
I. Diogenes commissions Polydeukes, about to return to
the upper world, to inform Menippus of the actual
condition of things in the land of shades, and to
deliver admonitory messages to various sorts of men
-the rich, the powerful, the proud; and, finally, to
the poor, whom, when they complain of their lot on
earth, he is to console by representing the complete
equality (ioorima) which prevails in the regions of
the dead
II. Krosus, Midas, and Sardanapalus complain to Pluto
of Menippus that he derides them for their lamenta-
tions over the loss of the power, wealth, and luxury
which belonged to them on earth. Menippus, in spite
of Pluto's remonstrances, persists in his ridicule
III. Menippus ridicules the oracles of Trophonius and Am-
philochus
IV. Hermes demands from Charon arrears of payment due
to him for his services on the Styx. Charon excuses
himself on the plea of bad times; no great war or
famine, as it happened, ravaging the earth at that
moment. Hermes moralizes on the causes of death,
different from those of old, which despatch men in
crowds to Hades.
V. Pluto directs Hermes to bring him the fortune and
legacy-hunters and flatterers of a certain rich man,
and to suffer the latter to outlive his fawning satel- lites
VI. Terpsion, a legacy-hunter, accuses Pluto and the Fates
in that, although only thirty years of age, they had
caused him to predecease the object of his tender
regards, the millionaire nonagenarian, Thukritus.
Pluto convinces Terpsion of the injustice of his accu-
sation; and the legacy-hunter consoles himself in
the prospect of being soon joined in Hades by his late
rivals on earth
VII. Zenophantes and Kallidemides, two parasites, bewail
one to the other their fates, in having been in the
midst of their scheming unexpectedly dismissed to
Hades. Kallidemides, in particular, recounts the
pleasant manner in which he brought about his own
death.
VIII. Knemon, a legacy-hunter, laments to his neighbour
Damnippus, that, whereas he had publicly, in his
will, bequeathed all his wealth to the millionaire
Hermolaus, in the expectation that the latter would
reciprocate the benefit, he, the speculating testator,
by his sudden death, had been frustrated of all his
hopes, and, besides, had left his family destitute
IX. Polystratus, a centenarian plutocrat, upon arriving in
Hades, narrates to his friend Simylus how, by reason
of his great wealth, he had enjoyed the adulation of
the world and an abundance of gifts from speculating
flatterers, and how he had disappointed them all by
his will
X. An alarming number of ghosts crowd to the Styx.
Charon, fearing for his boat, directs Hermes to see
that they were entirely stripped of their various
insignia of power, rank, wealth, and the weighty
load of vices, before they are admitted on board.
Menippus, who is one of the passengers, avails him-
self of the opportunity for ridiculing and railing at
the bewailing ghosts
XI. Krates and Diogenes, meeting in Hades, indulge their
satire on the subject of the fates of two millionaire
merchants (cousins) who had been constantly plot-
ting, in the usual manner, each for the other's
legacy, and who had both perished on the same day
by shipwreck. The two eminent Cynics congratu-
late themselves on the recollection of the very diffe-
rent character of their own objects in life
XII. Alexander of Macedon and Hannibal, quarrelling for
precedence, submit the arbitrament of their cause
to Minos. Each recounts his exploits. Scipio, the
conqueror of Carthage, intervenes, and pronounces
in favour of Alexander, claiming the second place for
himself, and assigning the third place to Hannibal .
XIII. Diogenes jeers at Alexander of Macedon for his late
pretensions to divinity, at the same time satirizing
the servile attitude of the conquered Greek States to-
wards him. He proceeds to remind the arrogant
conqueror of all his vain power and glory, and casts
large part of the blame on Alexander's preceptor,
Aristotle, for flattering and fostering the pride and
ambition of his pupil. Diogenes, finally, recom-
mends the dead potentate to drink the waters of the
river Lethe
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XIV. Philip, King of Macedon, ridicules his son Alexan-
der's absurd arrogance in claiming to be the son of
Ammon, and calls in question the greatness of his
military achievements. Alexander defends him-
self.
XV. Antilochus, the son of Nestor (one of the Greek heroes
who fell during the siege of Ilium), remonstrates
with his friend Achilleus for having given utterance
to the words put into his mouth by the poet of the
Odyssey-that he would rather be a slave on earth
than king in Hades-shows him the uselessness of
regrets in the under-world, and, at the same time,
attempts to console him with the reflection that he
is far from being alone in his fate. Achilleus
takes the admonition of his friend in good part,
but refuses to be comforted
XVI. Diogenes, the Cynic, expresses his astonishment to
Herakles at seeing the son of Zeus in Hades, like
the rest. That hero pretends that his actual self
is in heaven, while it is his eidolon, or phantom,
which is among the dead
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XVII. Menippus derides the fable and fate of Tantalus
XVIII. Menippus desires Hermes to point out to him the
beautiful women and handsome men celebrated by
the poets. Hermes shows him the ghosts of the
most famous of them, and, in particular, that of
Helene. Menippus cynically expresses his aston-
ishment that a bare skull should have caused a
great war, and the deaths of so many thousands . 135
XIX. Protesilaus, one of the victims of the Trojan War,
seeks to avenge himself by an assault on Helene-
Eakus, gatekeeper and one of the high court of
justice in Hades, reminds him that it is Menelaus,
the commander-in-chief of the Achæan army against
Ilium, who is the proper object of his vengeance.
Menelaus shifts the responsibility to the shoulders
of Paris. Paris lays the blame upon Eros. Æakus
decides that Protesilaus has only himself to blame
for preferring military glory to a young and beau-
tiful wife; but concedes to Protesilaus that the
blame, in the last resort, lies with the Fates
XX. Æakus, at the especial request of Menippus, intro-
duces him to the ghosts of the most celebrated
potentates of antiquity, when the Cynic avails
himself of his opportunity for ridicule and derision.
Menippus is next introduced to the most famous
philosophers, whom he treats with not much
greater consideration. The dialogue concludes with
an interview with Socrates, whose foibles, real or
pretended, are made the subject of satire
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XXI. Menippus inquires of Kerberus, the canine guardian
of the entrance to Hades, as to the demeanour
of Sokrates upon his first arrival there
XXII. Charon demands from Menippus his accustomed
fee. Upon the absolute refusal of the Cynic to
pay, a lively altercation ensues
XXIII. Protesilaus, an Achæan hero, who had fallen before
Ilium, supplicates Pluto to permit him to return
to life, for a day, to visit his wife Laodameia, and
adduces as precedents the examples of Orpheus
and Alkestis. At the intercession of Persephone,
Pluto at length grants the favour
XXIV. Diogenes demands of Mausolus, the Karian satrap,
the reason of his arrogance and pride, and ridi-
cules the vanity of his grandeur and power on
earth, and, in particular, the uselessness to him
of his magnificent tomb at Halikarnassus. He
concludes his diatribe with contrasting his own
‘complete_ignorance and indifference in regard
even to the manner, or place, of his own sepul-
ture
XXV. Nireus and Thersites, disputing which of them was
the more distinguished by good looks, appeal to
Menippus. Menippus, disregarding the autho-
rity of Homer, pronounces the iσokáλλog as well
as the iooripia, in Hades, to be as complete as it
is unalterable
XXVI. Cheiron imparts to Menippus his reason for pre-
ferring Hades to heaven and immortality
XXVII. The philosophers Diogenes, Antisthenes, and Krates
resolve to make for the entrance to Orcus, to
observe the quality and conduct of the new
arrivals. On the way they entertain themselves
with recounting their several experiences of the
behaviour of their travelling companions to
Hades. Upon their arrival at their destination,
Diogenes interrogates a poor man as to the cause
of his lamentation
XXVIII. Menippus ridicules the story of the prophet Tei-
resias as found in the poets and theologists,
and, in particular, his metamorphosis into a
woman
XXIX. Agamemnon inquires of (Telamonian) Aias the
reason of his late cool reception of Odysseus,
when he came down to learn the future from
Teiresias. Aias justifies his hostile feeling by
alleging the conduct of Odysseus to him, in the
matter of the competition for the arms of Achil-
leus
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