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is abfolutely to fucceed Eufden in the laurel; the contention being between Concannen, or Theobald, or fome other hero of the Dunciad. I never charged you for not talking; but the dubious state of your affairs in those days was too much the subject, and I wish the Duchefs had been the voucher of your amendment. Nothing contributed so much to my ease as the turn of affairs after the Queen's death; by which all my hopes being cut off, I could have no ambition left, unless I would have been a greater rascal than happened to fuit with my temper. I therefore fat down quietly at my morfel, adding only thereto a principle of hatred to all fucceeding measures and miniftries, by way of fauce to relish my meat and I confefs one point of conduct in my Lady Duchefs's life hath added much poignancy to it. There is a good Irish practical bull towards the end of your letter, where you spend a dozen lines in telling me you must leave off, that you may give my Lady Duchefs room to write, and fo you proceed to within two or three lines of the bottom; though I would have remittted you my 200 1. to have left place for as many
My beginning thus low is meant as a mark of respect, like receiving your Grace at the bottom of the stairs. I am glad you know your duty: for it hath been a known and established rule above twenty years in England, That the first advances have been conftantly made me by all ladies who afpired to my acquaintance, and the greater their quality, the greater were their advances. Yet I know not by what weakness, I have condescended graciously to dispense with you upon this important article. Though Mr Gay will tell you, that a nameless perfon* fent me eleven meffages before I would yield to a vifit: I mean a perfon to whom he is infinitely obliged, for being the occafion of the happiness he now enjoys, under the protection and favour of my Lord Duke and your Grace. At the fame time, I cannot forbear telling you, Madam, that you are a little imperious in your
The Princess of Wales, afterward Queen Caroline.
manner of making your advances. You say, perhaps you shall not like me: I affirm you are mistaken, which 1 can plainly demonftrate; for I have certain intelligence, that another perfon diflikes me of late, with whofe likings yours have not for fome time paft gone together. However, if I fhall once have the honour to attend your Grace, I will, out of fear and prudence, appear as vain as I can, that I may not know your thoughts of me. This is your own direction, but it was needlefs: for Diogenes himself would be vain, to have received the honour of being one moment of his life in the thoughts of your Grace.
Dublin, March 13. 1730.1. Our fituation is an odd one; the Duchefs is your treasurer, and Mr Pope tells me you are the Duke's. And I had gone a good way in fome verses on that occafion, prefcribing leffons to direct your conduct in a negative way; not to do fo and fo, &c. like other treasurers; how to deal with fervants, tenants, or neighbouring 'fquires, which I take to be courtiers, parliaments, and princes in alliance; and fo the parallel goes on, but grows too long to please me. I prove, that poets are the fittest perfons to be treasurers and managers to great perfons, from their virtue, and contempt of money, &c.-Pray, why did you not get a new heel to your fhoe? unless you would make your court at St. James's, by affecting to imitate the Prince of Lilliput.But the rest of your letter being wholly taken up in a very bad character of the Duchefs, I fhall fay no more to you, but apply myself to her Grace.
MADAM, Since Mr Gay affirms that you love to have your own way, and fince I have the fame perfection, I will fettle that matter immediately, to prevent those ill confequences he apprehends. Your Grace fhall have your own way, in all places except your own house, and the domains about it. There, and there only, I expect to have mine; fo that you have all the world to
reign in, bating only two or three hundred acres, and two or three houfes in town and country. I will likewife, out of my special grace, certain knowledge, and mere motion, allow you to be in the right against all human kind, except myself, and to be never in the wrong, but when you differ from me. You fhall have a greater privilege in the third article, of speaking your mind; which I fhall graciously allow you now and then to do even to myself, and only rebuke you when it does not please me.
Madam, I am now got as far as your Grace's letter; which having not read this fortnight, (having been out of town, and not daring to trust myself with the carriage of it), the prefumptuous manner in which you begin had flipt out of my memory. But I forgive you to the feventeenth line, where you begin to banish me for ever, by demanding me to answer all the good character fome partial friends have given me. Madam, I have lived fixteen years in Ireland, with only an intermiffion of two fummers in England; and confequently am fifty years older than I was at the Queen's death, and fifty thousand times duller, and fifty million times more peevish, perverfe, and morofe; fo that under these disadvantages, I can only pretend to excel all your other acquaintance about fome twenty bars length. Pray, Madam, have you a clear voice? and will you let me fit at your left hand, at least within three of you? for of two bad ears, my right is the best. My groom tells me, that he likes your park, but your houfe is too little. Can the parfon of the parifh play at backgammon, and hold his tongue? Is any one of your women a good nurfe, if I fhould fancy myself fick for four and twenty hours? How many days will you maintain me and my equipage? When thefe preliminaries are fettled, I must be very poor, very fick, or dead, or to the last degree unfortunate, if I do not attend you at Aimsbury. For I profefs you are the first lady that ever I defired to see fince the first of August 1714; and I have forgot the date when that defire grew ftrong upon me; but I know I was not then in England, elfe I would have gone on foot for that happiness as far as to your houfe in Scotland. But I can foon recollect the time, by asking fome ladies VOL. VIII.
here the month, the day, and the hour when I began to endure their company: which however I think was a fign of my ill judgment; for I do not perceive they mend in any thing but envying or admiring your Grace. I dislike nothing in your letter but an affected apology for bad writing, bad fpelling, and a bad pen, which you pretend Mr Gay found fault with; wherein you affront Mr Gay, you affront me, and you affront yourself. Falfe fpelling is only excufable in a chamber-maid, for I would not pardon it in any of your waiting-women.-Pray God preferve your Grace and family; and give me leave to expect, that you will be fo just to remember me among those who have the greatest regard for virtue, goodness, prudence, courage, and generofity; after which you must conclude, that I am, with the greatest refpect and gratitude, Madam, your Grace's most obedient and most humble servant, &c.
To Mr GAY.
I have juft got yours of February 24. with a poft. fcript by Mr Pope. I am in great concern for him; I find Mr Pope dictated to you the first part, and with great difficulty fome days after added the reft. I fee his weakness by his hand-writing. How much does his philofophy exceed mine! I could not bear to fee him: I will write to him foon.
Dublin, June. 29. 1731. Ver fince I received your letter, I have been upon a balance about going to England, and landing at Bristol, to pass a month at Aimsbury, as the Duchefs hath given me leave. But many difficulties have interfered. First, I thought I had done with my law-fuit, and fo did all my lawyers; but my adverfary, after be ing in appearance a Proteftant thefe twenty years, hath declared he was always a Papift, and confequently, by the law here, cannot buy nor (I think) fell; fo that I am at fea again, for almost all I am worth. But I have
ftill a worse evil: for the giddiness I was fubject to, inftead of coming feldom and violent, now conftantly attends me more or lefs; though in a more peaceable manner, yet fuch as will not qualify me to live among the young and healthy; and the Duchefs, in all her youth, fpirit and grandeur, will make a very ill nurse, and her women not much better. Valetudinarians muft live where they can command, and fcold; I muft have horses to ride, I must go to bed and rife when I please, and live where all mortals are fubfervient to me. I must talk nonfense when I please, and all who are present must commend it. I must ride thrice a-week, and walk three or four miles befides, every day.
I always told - was good for nothing but to be a rank courtier. I care not whether he ever writes to me or no. He and you may tell this to the Duchefs; and I hate to fee you fo charitable, and fuch a cully; and yet I love you for it, because I am one my
You are the filliest lover in Christendom. If you like Mrs ―, why do you not command her to take you? if she does not, fhe is not worth pursuing. You do her too much honour; fhe hath neither fenfe nor taste, if the dares to refuse you, though fhe had ten thousand pounds. I do not remember to have told you of thanks that you have not given, nor do I understand your meaning, and I am fure I had never the leaft thoughts of any myself. If I am your friend, it is for my own reputation, and from a principle of felf-love; and I do fometimes reproach you for not honouring me by letting the world know we are friends.
I fee very well how matters go with the Duchess in regard to me. I heard her fay, Mr Gay, fill your letter to the Dean, that there may be no room for me; the frolic is gone far enough; I have writ thrice; I will do no more; if the man has a mind to come, let him come; what a clutter is here? pofitively I will not write a fyl lable more. She is an ungrateful Duchefs, confidering how many adorers I have procured her here, over and above the thousands fhe had before.-I cannot allow you rich enough till you are worth 7000 1. which will bring you 300 per annum; and this will maintain you,