« PreviousContinue »
The laft is the period two thousand and one, and b― to hell all are gone.
When that time comes, pray remember the discovery came from me.
It is now time I should begin my letter. I hope you got fafe to Cavan, and have got no cold on thofe two terrible days. All your friends are well, and I as I used to be. I received yours. My humble fervice to your lady, and love to your children. I suppose you have all the news fent you. I hear of no marriages going on. One Dean Crofs, an eminent divine, we hear is to be Bishop of Cork.-Stay till I afk a fervant, what Patrick's bells ring for fo late at night. -You, fellow, is it for joy or forrow? I believe it fome of our royal birthdays. Oh, they tell me, it is for joy a new master is chosen for the corporation of butchers. So farewel.
Dr SWIFT to Dr SHERIDAN.
Sept. 30. 1735.
and to-day the coming in of the new, who is Alderman Grattan. The Duke *was at both dinners; but I thought it enough to go to day, and I came away before fix, with very little meat or drink. The club t meets in a week, and I determine to leave the town as foon as poffible; for I am not able to live within the air of fuch rafcals: but whither to go, or how far my health will permit me to travel, I cannot tell; for my mind mifgives me, that you are neither in humour nor capacity to receive me as a guest. I had your law-letter. Thofe things require ferious confideration. In order to bring them to a due perfection, a wife man will pre
The Duke of Dorfet, Lord Lieutenant of Ireland. + The Irish parliament. See the next letter, and the poem there
pare a large fund of idioms; which are highly useful, when literally tranflated by a skilful, eloquent hand; and except our Latino- Anglicus, is the most neceffary, as well as ornamental part of human learning. But then we must take (pecial care of infusing the most useful cepts for the direction of human life, particularly for inftructing princes and great minifters, diftributing our praises and cenfures with the utmost impartiality and juftice. This is what I have prefumed to attempt, although very confcious to myself of my inferior abilities for fuch a performance. I begin with lady. And be.
cause the judicious Mr Locke fays it is neceffary to settle terms, before we write upon any fubject, I defcribe a certain female of your acquaintance, whofe name fhall be Dorothy. It is in the following manner. Dolis aftra per, afira mel, a fus, a quoque et ; atra pes, an id lar, alas ibo nes, a præ ter, at at lar, avi fi ter, age ipfi, oftro lar, an empti pate, aræ lar, aramlar, an et, ades e ver, aft rumpet, ad en, agam lar, agrum lar, ac ros pus, afflat error, ape e per, as noti nos, arraver, a huc ftare, ajo fis ter, avi per, ad rive lar, age lar, apud lar, a fis lar, a fis ter, a far ter, as hi ter, anus lar, a mus lar, arat lar, a minximus, a prata pace, a gallo per, a five. Moft learned Sir, I intreat you will pleafe to obferve, (fince I must speak in the vulgar language), that, in the above forty-three denominations for females, many of them end with the domestic deity lar, to fhew that women were chiefly created for family-affairs; and yet I cannot hear, that any other author hath made the fame remark. I have like. wife begun a treatise of geography, (the Anglo-Anglarians call it erroneously Fog Ralph 1), Mei quo te fummo fit? Aftra canis a miti citi; an dy et Ali cantis qui te as bigas it. Barba dos is more populus. An tego is a des arti here. I have a third treatife, to direct young ladies in reading. Ama dis de Gallis a fine his tori, an dy et Belli anis is ab et
Summas eurus Valent in an Dorfs ne isthmoi te legant ovum alto bis ure. I canna me fare do mafti cani males a fallique nature; na meli, ac at, arat, amafii, fanda lxdi; Ime ad amo ustv o; a lædi inde edi mite ex cæptas a beafli e verme et aram lingo ut. Preis mi cum pari fino
I believe fome evil spirit hath got poffeffion of you
and a few others, in conceiving I have any power with the D—of D—, or with any one bifhop, or man of power. I did but glance a fingle word to the Dabout as proper a thing as he could do, and yet he turned it off to fome other discourse. You fay one word of my mouth would do, &c. I believe the rhyme of my word would do juft as much. Am I not univerfally known to be one who diflikes all prefent perfons and proceedings? Another writes to defire, that I would prevail on the Archbishop of Dublin to give him the belt prebend of St Patrick's. Let Bishop Clayton + allow the refignation, fince Donellan is provided for. I mention. ed to the D, that Donellan fhould be Dean of Cork, on purpose to forward the refignation of old Caulfield: but it would not do; though Caulfield seems to have fome hopes, and it is Bifhop Clayton's fault if he does not yield, &c.
Dr SWIFT to Dr
April 24. 1736. Have been very ill for thefe two months past with
days ago, when I gradually recovered; but ftill am weak and indolent, not thinking any thing worth my thoughts; and although (I forget what I am going to fay, fo it ferves for nothing) I am well enough to ride, yet I will not be at the pains. Your friend Mrs Whiteway, who is upon all occasions so zealous to vindicate, is one whom I defire you to chide: for, during my whole fickness, fhe was perpetually plaguing and fpunging on me; and though he would drink no wine herfelf, yet the increafed the expence, by making me force it down her throat. Some of your eight rules I follow, fome I re
* Dr John Hoadly.
Dr Clayton, Bishop of Cork.
The paragraphs in Italic in this and the following letter, were written by Mrs Whiteway, a cousin-german of Dr Swift's.
ject, fome I cannot compaís, I mean merry fellows. Mr J. R never fails. I did within two days past ring him fuch a peal in relation to you, that he must be the d- not to confider it. I will use him the fame way, if he comes to-morrow (which I do not doubt) for a pint of wine. I like your project of a fatire on Fairbrother *, who is an arrant rascal in every circumstance.
Every fyllable that is worth reading in this letter, you are to fuppofe I writ it; the Dean only took the hints from me; but he has put them fo ill together, that I am forced to tell you this in my own juflification. Had you been worth harg· ing, you would have come to town this vacation, and I would have fhewn you a poem on the legion.club. I do not doubt but that a certain perfon will pretend he writ it, because there is a copy of it in his hand, lying on his table ; but do not mind that; for there are fome people in the world vill fay any thing. I wish you could give fome account of poor Dr Sheridan. I hear the reafon he did not come to town this Eafter, is, that he waited to fee a neighbour of kis banged.
Whatever is faid in this page by Goody Whiteway, I have not read, nor will read; but affure you, if it relates to me, it is all a lie: for fhe fays you have taught her that art; and, as the world goes, and he takes you for a wife man, fhe ought to follow your practice. To be ferious, I am forry you faid fo little of your own affairs, and of your health; and when will you pay me any money? For, upon my confcience, you have halfftarved me.
The plover eggs were admirable, and the worfied for the Dean's fockings fo fine, that not one knitter here can knit them.
We neither of us know what the other hath writ; fo one answer will ferve, if you write to us both, provided you justly give us both our fhare, and cach of us will read our own part. Pray tell us how you breathe, and whether that diforder be better.
If the Dean fhould give you any hint about money, you need not mind him; for, to my knowledge, he borrowed twenty pounds a month ago, to keep himself alive.
* See the next letter.
I am forry to tell you, that poor Mrs Whiteway is to be hanged on Tuesday next, for ftealing a piece of Indian filk out of Bradshaw's fhop, and did not fet the houfe on fire, as I advifed her. I have wrote a ́very masterly poem on the legion-club; which, if the printer fhould be condemned to be hanged for it, you will fee in a three-penny book; for it is 240 lines. Mrs Whiteway is to have half the profit and half the hanging.
The Drapier went this day to the Tholfel as a merchant, to fign a petition to the government against lowering the gold; where, we hear, he made a long fpeech, for which be will be reckoned a Jacobite. God fend hanging does not go round. Yours, &c.
Dr SWIFT to Dr SHERIDAN.
Dublin, May 15. 1735.
RS Whiteway and I were fretting, raging, ftorm. ing, and fuming, that you had not fent a letter ince you got to your Caban, (for the V confonant was anciently a B), I mean Cavan: but, however, we mingled pity; for we feared you had run away from school, and left the key under the door. We were much difap. pointed, that the fpring and beginning of fummer had not introduced the mufes, and that your now walkable roads had not roufed your fpirits. We are here the hap picft people in the univerfe. We have a year and a half before the club will meet, to be revenged further on the clergy, who never offended them and in England their parliament are following our fteps, only with two or three fteps for our one. It is well you have done with the church; but pray take care to get money, elfe in a year or two more they will forbid all Greek and Latin fchools, as Popish and Jacobite. I took leave of the Duke and Duchefs to-day. He has prevailed on us to make a promife to bestow upon England 25,000 1. a
* Dr Sheridan exchanged his living at Dunboyne, for the school of Cavan.