these it disapproves; and determines we should be impatient only of absence from God, and distance from that state and temper wherein we may most glorify him.

10. Godly sorrow introduced, as making her sad moan, not so much that she is kept from the free possession and full enjoyment of happiness, but that God must be dishonoured; the soul being still in a world of sin, and itself imperfect. She here, with grief, counts over past faults, present temptations, and fears for the future.

11. Hope, or holy confidence, appears, and seems persuaded, that "nothing shall ever separate the soul from the love of God in Christ Jesus." It expects divine assistance and grace sufficient for all the doing and suffering work of time, and that death will, ere long, put a happy period to all sin and sorrow; and so takes occasion to rejoice.

12. Godly fear, or holy jealousy, here steps in, and suggests some timorous apprehensions of the danger of deception; mentions the deceitfulness of the heart, the great influence of irregular self-love in a fallen creature; inquires whether itself is not likely to have fallen in with delusion, since the mind is so dark, and so little of God appears to the soul; and queries whether all its hopes of persevering grace may not be presumption, and whether its confident expectations of meeting death as a friend, may not issue in disappointment.

13. Hereupon reflection appears, and reminds the person of his past experiences, as to the preparatory work of conviction and humiliation; the view he then had of the impossibility of salvation, from himself, or any created arm; the manifestation he has

likewise had of the glory of God in Jesus Christ,― how he then admired that glory, and chose that God for his only portion, because of the excellency and amiableness he discovered in him; not from slavish fear of being damned, if he did not, nor from base and mercenary hopes of saving himself; but from a just esteem of that beauteous and glorious object : as, also, how he had from time to time rejoiced and acquiesced in God, for what he is in himself; being delighted that he is infinite in holiness, justice, power, sovereignty, as well as in mercy, goodness, and love how he has likewise, scores of times, felt his soul mourn for sin, for this very reason, because it is contrary and grievous to God; yea, how he has mourned over one vain and impertinent thought, when he has been so far from fear of the divine vindictive wrath for it, that, on the contrary, he has enjoyed the highest assurance of the divine, everlasting love: how he has, from time to time, delighted in the commands of God, for their own purity and perfection, and longed exceedingly to be conformed to them, and even to be “holy as God is holy;" and counted it present heaven, to be of a heavenly temper: how he has frequently rejoiced, to think of being for ever subject to, and dependent on God; accounting it infinitely greater happiness to glorify God in a state of subjection to, and dependence on him, than to be a god himself and how heaven itself would be no heaven to him, if he could not there be every thing that God would have him be.

14. Upon this, spiritual sensation being awakened, comes in, and declares that she now feels and "tastes that the Lord is gracious;" that he is the only supreme good, the only soul-satisfying hap

piness; that he is a complete, self-sufficient, and almighty portion. She whispers, "Whom have I in heaven" but this God, this dear and blessed portion; "and there is none upon earth I desire besides him." Oh, it is heaven to please him, and to be just what he would have me be! Oh that my soul were "holy as God is holy; pure, as Christ is pure; and perfect, as my Father in heaven is perfect!" These are the sweetest commands in God's book, comprising all others; and shall I break them? must I break them? am I under a fatal necessity of it, as long as I live in this world? Oh my soul ! wo, wo is me, that I am a sinner; because I now necessarily grieve and offend this blessed God, who is infinite in goodness and grace. Oh, methinks, should he punish me for my sins, it would not wound my heart so deep to offend him; but, though I sin continually, he continually repeats his kindness toward me! I could bear any suffering; but how can I bear to grieve and dishonour this blessed God! How shall I give ten thousand times more honour to him? What shall I do to glorify and worship this best of beings? O that I could consecrate myself, soul and body, to his service for ever! Oh that I could give up myself to him, so as never more to attempt to be my own, or to have any will or affections that are not perfectly conformed to his! But, alas! I cannot, I feel I cannot, be thus entirely devoted to God: I cannot live and sin not. Oh ye angels, do you glory him incessantly; if possible, exert yourselves still more in lively and ardent devotion; if possible, prostrate yourselves still lower before the throne of the blessed king of heaven. I long to bear a part with you, and if it were possible,

to help you. Yet when we have done, we shall not be able to offer the ten thousandth part of the homage he is worthy of. While spiritual sensation whispered these things, fear and jealousy were greatly overcome; and the soul replied, "Now I know, and am assured," &c. and again it welcomed death as a friend, saying, "O death, where is thy sting!"

15. Finally, holy resolution concludes the discourse, fixedly determining to "follow hard after God," and continually to pursue a life of conformity to him. And the better to pursue this, enjoining it on the soul always to remember, that God is the only source of happiness, that his will is the only rule of rectitude to an intelligent creature, that earth has nothing in it desirable for itself, or any further than God is seen in it; and that the knowledge of God in Christ, begetting and maintaining love, and morfying sensual and fleshly appetites, is the way to be holy on earth, and so to be attempered to the complete holiness of the heavenly world.

11.

Some gloomy and desponding thoughts of a soul under convictions of sin, and concern for its eternal salvation.

1. I BELIEVE my case is singular, that none ever had so many strange and different thoughts and feelings as I.

2. I have been concerned much longer than many others that I have known or read of, who have been savingly converted, and yet I am left.

3. I have withstood the power of convictions a long time; and therefore I fear I shall be finally left of God.

4. I never shall be converted, without stronger convictions, and greater terrors of conscience.

5. I do not aim at the glory of God in any thing I do, and therefore I cannot hope for mercy.

6. I do not see the evil nature of sin, nor the sin of my nature; and therefore I am discouraged.

7. The more I strive, the more blind and hard my heart is, and the worse I grow continually.

8. I fear that God never showed mercy to one so vile as I.

9. I fear I am not elected, and therefore must perish.

10. I am an old sinner; and if God had designed mercy for me, he would have called me home to himself before now.