A FULL AND TRUE ACCOUNT, &c.

WHOEVER examines, with due circumspection, into the annual records of time, will find it remarked, that war is the child of pride, and pride the daughter of riches: the former of which assertions, may be soon granted; but one cannot so easily subscribe to the latter: for pride, is nearly related to beggary and want, either by father or mother, and sometimes by both; and, to speak naturally, it very seldom happens among men tov fall out, when all have enough; invasions usually travelling from north to south, that is to say, from poverty to plenty. The most ancient and natural grounds of quarrels, are, lust and avarice; which, though we may allow to be brethren, or collateral branches of pride, are certainly the issues of want. For, to speak in the phrase of writers upon politicks, we may observe in the republick of dogs, which in its original seems to be an institution of the many, that the whole state is ever in the profoundest peace, after a full meal; and that civil bróifs arise among

Riches produce pride; pride is war's ground, &c. Vid. Ephem. de Mary Clarke; opt. edit.-now called Wing's Sheet Almanack, and printed by J. Roberts for the Company of Stationers.

†This is ungrammatical; it should be- it very seldom happens among men, that they fall out,' &c.

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them,

I must warn the reader to beware of applying to persons, what is here meant only of books in the most literal sense. So, when Virgil is mentioned, we are not to understand the person of a famous poet called by that name; but only certain sheets of paper, bound up in leather, containing in print the works of the said poet and so of the rest.

THE PREFACE OF THE AUTHOR.

SATIRE is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover every body's face, but their own; which is the chief reason for that kind reception it meets with in the world, and that so very few are offended with it. But if it should happen otherwise, the danger is not great; and I have learned, from long experience, never to apprehend mischief from those understandings, I have been able to provoke: for, anger and fury, though they add strength to the sinews of the body, yet are found to relax those of the mind; and to render all its efforts, feeble and impotent.

There is a brain, that will endure but one scumming: let the owner gather it with discretion, and manage his little stock with husbandry; but, of all things, let him beware of bringing it under the lash of his betters; because, that will make it all bubble up into impertinence, and he will find no new supply. Wit, without knowledge, being a sort of cream, which gathers in a night to the top, and by a skilful hand may be soon whipped into froth: but once scummed away, what appears underneath, will be fit for nothing, but to be thrown to the hogs.

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UNT, &c.

r events of this war, are not so easy : for, the present quarrel is so inheads of either faction, and the or other so exorbitant, as not s of accommodation. This heard it affirmed by an 1, about a small spot

e of the two tops of

argest of which,

mind, in quiet posses

ed the ancients; and the noderns. But these, disliking

on, sent certain ambassadors to the nplaining of a great nuisance; how the

of that part of Parnassus, quite spoiled the ospect of theirs, especially towards the east; and therefore, to avoid a war, offered them the choice of this alternative; either that the ancients, would please to remove themselves and their effects, down to the lower summit, which the moderns would graciously surrender to them, and advance in their place or else the said ancients, will give leave to the moderns, to come with shovels and mattocks, and level the said hill, as low as they shall think it convenient. To which the ancients made answer; how little they expected such a message as this, from a colony, whom they had admitted, out of their own free grace, to so near a neighbourhood. That, as to their own seat, they were aborigines of it, and

* Are not so easy to conjecture at'-is a strange impropriety of speech the sentence would run much better thus. But it is not so easy to conjecture what will be the issue or events of this war.'

For in' read into.'

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therefore

them, when it happens for one great bone to be seized on by some leading dog *, who 'either divides it among the few, and then it falls to an oligarchy, or keeps it to himself, and then it runs up to a tyranny. The same reasoning also holds place among them, in those dissentions we behold, upon a turgescency in any of their females. For, the right of possession lying in common, (it being impossible to establish a property in so delicate a case) jealousies and suspicions do so abound, that the whole commonwealth of that street, is reduced to a manifest state of war, of every citizen against every citizen; till some one of more courage, conduct, or fortune than the rest, seizes and enjoys the prize: upon which naturally arises plenty of heart-burning, and envy, and snarling against the happy dog. Again, if we look upon any of these republicks engaged in a foreign war either of invasion or defence, we shall find, the same reasoning will serve, as to the grounds and occasions of each; and that poverty, or want, in some degree or other, (whether real, or in opinion, which makes no alteration in the case) has a great share, as well as pride, on the part of the aggressor.

Now, whoever will please to take this scheme, and either reduce or adapt it to an intellectual state, or common-wealth of learning, will soon discover the first ground of disagreement, between the two great parties at this time in arms; and may form just conclusions, upon the merits of either cause.

*This mode of expression is bald, and not reconcileable to grammar: it should be, when it happens that one great bone is seized on by some leading dog,' &c.

But

But the issue or events of this war, are not so easy to conjecture at *: for, the present quarrel is so inflamed by the warm heads of either faction, and the pretensions somewhere or other so exorbitant, as not to admit the least overtures of accommodation. This quarrel first began, as I have heard it affirmed by an old dweller in the neighbourhood, about a small spot of ground, lying and being upon one of the two tops of the hill Parnassus; the highest and largest of which, had, it seems, been, time out of mind, in quiet possession of certain tenants, called the ancients; and the other was held by the moderns. But these, disliking their present station, sent certain ambassadors to the ancients, complaining of a great nuisance; how the height of that part of Parnassus, quite spoiled the prospect of theirs, especially towards the east; and therefore, to avoid a war, offered them the choice of this alternative; either that the ancients, would please to remove themselves and their effects, down to the lower summit, which the moderns would graciously surrender to them, and advance in their place or else the said ancients, will give leave to the moderns, to come with shovels and mattocks, and level the said hill, as low as they shall think it convenient. To which the ancients made answer; how little they expected such a message as this, from a colony, whom they had admitted, out of their own free grace, to so near a neighbourhood. That, as to their own seat, they were aborigines of it, and

*Are not so easy to conjecture at'-is a strange impropriety of speech: the sentence would run much better thus. But it is not so easy to conjecture what will be the issue or events of this 'war.'

For in' read into.'

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therefore