The world of wit and humour, ed. by G.M. Fenn

Front Cover
George Manville Fenn
Cassell, Petter, & Galpin, 1899 - 480 pages

From inside the book

Contents

Other editions - View all

Common terms and phrases

Popular passages

Page 364 - Fifty-five! This morning the parson takes a drive. Now, small boys, get out of the way! Here comes the wonderful one-hoss shay, Drawn by a rat-tailed, ewe-necked bay. "Huddup!" said the parson. Off went they. The parson was working his Sunday's text, Had got to fifthly, and stopped perplexed At what the -Moses - was coming next. All at once the horse stood still, Close by the meet'n'-house on the hill First a shiver, and then a thrill, Then something decidedly like a spill.
Page 363 - Now in building of chaises, I tell you what, There is always somewhere a weakest spot, — In hub, tire, felloe, in spring or thill, In panel, or crossbar, or floor, or sill, In screw, bolt, thoroughbrace, — lurking still, Find it somewhere you must and will, — Above or below, or within or without, — And that's the reason, beyond a doubt, A chaise breaks down, but doesn't wear out. But the Deacon swore (as Deacons do, With an "I dew vum...
Page 134 - Take care of the pence and the pounds will take care of themselves is as true of personal habits as of money.
Page 36 - I die, my friend,' quoth I; And 'Exactly so,' quoth he. "Says he, 'Dear James, to murder me Were a foolish thing to do, For don't you see that you can't cook me, While I can — and will — cook you!
Page 363 - T' make that place uz strong uz the rest." So the Deacon inquired of the village folk Where he could find the strongest oak, That couldn't be split nor bent nor broke, — That was for spokes and floor and sills ; He sent for lancewood to make the thills ; The crossbars were ash, from the straightest trees The panels of white-wood, that cuts like cheese But lasts like iron for things like these ; The hubs of logs from the "Settler's ellum...
Page 120 - For what is a man profited, if he gain the whole world, and lose or forfeit his own self...
Page 41 - ... restores him to health, — on the ermine which decorates the judge, and the rope which hangs the criminal, — on the poor man's salt, and the rich man's spice, — on the brass nails of the coffin, and the ribbons of the bride, — at bed or board, couchant or levant, — we must pay.
Page 218 - Then Abner Dean of Angel's raised a point of order — when A chunk of old red sandstone took him in the abdomen, And he smiled a kind of sickly smile, and curled up on the floor, And the subsequent proceedings interested him no more.
Page 349 - ... now handled by every dirty wench, condemned to do her drudgery, and, by a capricious kind of fate destined to make other things clean and be nasty itself ; at length, worn to the stumps in the...
Page 106 - THE BALLAD OF THE OYSTERMAN. IT was a tall young oysterman lived by the river-side, His shop was just upon the bank, his boat was on the tide; The daughter of a fisherman, that was so straight and slim, Lived over on the other bank, right opposite to him. It was the pensive oysterman that saw a lovely maid, Upon a moonlight evening, a sitting in the shade ; He saw her wave her handkerchief, as much as if to say, "I'm wide awake, young oysterman, and all the folks away.

Bibliographic information