66 No. 17. Boston, Saturday, August 23, 1806. Ephraim feedeth on wind." So do many others at this day. When I stroll abroad and see the motley groupe of characters, that troud every street, I almost believe in transmigration of souls, and think EPHRAIM revives in modern Israel. Mark yon wretch, that trembles on the verge of eternity. The cadaverous complexion of death begins to overspread his countenance. Though rich as Cræsus, not a subject of that monarch, whose life was not luxury and extravagance to his. Sordidly affluent, his soul could never have preferred loss to unjust gain. The light of heaven he would it a bargain. He would not indeed barter for another shilling, and think sell his birthright for a mess of pottage," for he would not allow himself the luxury. "Ephraim In company, a feedeth on wind." thing is cold, cold as his subterratorpedo, that would chill! Every nean treasure. His When I see a man sacrifice every thing to politics, devote long days and sleepless nights to the whims of the times, pant in pursuit of I met a bad the other day, as phantoms, faint as he finds them I turned one of the corners. air, the passage recurs in full force: hair, from want of comb or a string, Ephraim feedeth on wind." I" streamed" indeed "like a meteor shrink within myself, cn reflecting, to the troubled air" His eyes were how soon what he depends on for sunk deep in his head, as if they support will blow him away. would retreat from nature, that he When I meet one, whom nature might look through it more distincthas denied wings to enable him to ly in remote perspective. The hagsoar to the height of the butt. rily, gardness of his appearance bespoke with hat under his arm, and stick the meagreness of his dict. "Praise," in hand, rings on each finger, spec- said a maniac bard, "is the only tacles on nose, and saved only, by manna we poets feed on. We depowder from being light-headed, Ivour it, as if it were angel's focd, do not wait for the appearance of a and vainly think we grow immorlady to convince me, that he feeds tal." It might have been said once. on nothing. "Less than nothing, But now this cheap food is denied and vanity," he can live by more them. The world is dead, dead în taste of air. A Cameleon, that trespasses and sins. Were the Muse would change color, but frem want herself to descend, and perch on of shame. Parnassus, and sing to a sleeping S THE EMERALD. creation, she would not be able to of understanding has long since gain a moment's attention; to break sunk and died away in the socket of their slumbers or rouse them from sensuality. Verily, Ephraim feed their lethargy. The sigh swelledeth on wind. spontaneous. "Efhraim" alas "feed eth on vind!" The soldier, "sudden and quick in quarrel, Seeking the bubble, reputation, "Even in the cannon's mouth," and perhaps losing reputation and life both, is Ephraim feeding on wind. The lawyer, that lives on hopes of glory, "feedeth on wind." The divine, that expects salvation from faith without works, "feedeth on wind." The doctor, that rides all day without a single patient, has the lankness of EPHRAIM, "feedeth on wind;" and on his return home is not a little mortified to find his children cry for other means of subsis-and struck his colors. The captive of love was treated less respectfully tance. The son of Neptune, that passes the street, was once a lover. An officer in the navy, in one of his land cruises he encountered fair AMORET Quidnuncs are mere feeders on than a prisoner of war. He scorned wind, and not very dainty as to the to be trifled with and broke his qualities of the air. Novel-read-thraldom. He found, he had fed on ers are among ladies what quidnuncs wind; and was then hardly goodare among men. They are well natured enough to call it sweet aur. known at the circulating library; He no longer sighs woful ballads the owner of which, aware of their to his mistress' eye brow, but sings hobby, keeps the run of their cusagain Te Deums to the God of victom by the quarterly expense of a tory. few, new title-pages. The other is the son of an opulent planter. The same sorceress enthralled him. He thought the enchantment was mutual and was led to hope, Hymen would soon break the charm. The place of reHe repaired ner, wrote her his success and according to a supposed promise, anxiously awaited her approach.But Ephraim feedeth on wind; she complained of his impertinence, and Men, who live on very substantial food, may yet, in the true spirit of Mosco, feed on wind. The Epicure, vlose idol is appetite, who bows down to himself, and the meanest sidence was agreed. part of himself, who looks forward tiither, purchased him a house, fitto a new earth with rapture, only be-ted it up in the most elegant manuse he expects new dishes there, who disbelieves in heaven, because be cannot conceive of happiness without eating; with however keen a relish he devour his viands, like Ephraim, still fedeth on wind. appetite will soon leave him, cloyed into satiety and motionless with gout. He will not be able to take the same pleasure in the choicest, the rustic takes in the most ordinary food. While the mere animal is thus growing weaker and weaker, thus des daily, the man is already dead. The soul has gone out. The light His there ended their loves. I could multiply instances, but should soon get to be an instance myself. Did I write much more, and still expect to be read, the hope would be illusive and the last smile of the reader would be at the expense of The Wanderer," Ephraim feedeth on wind." K. For the Emerald. thou not raised thy sacrilegious hand against thine own person? Know therefore, that as long as thy vile carcase shall remain unburied, and continue to DIALOGUE OF THE DEAD. Still lives the ruling passion strong in death. taint the air with its corruptions, so long ADVERTISEMENT. POPE. LUCIAN, among the antients, and among the moderns, FENELON and LORD LYTTLETON, have written dialogues of the dead; but no one perhaps, either for the purpose of satire, or the advancement of morality, ever wrote such a dialogue until the real decease of his Dramatis Persona. must thou wander a vagabond ghost upon these solitary shores. Mr. P. But Mercury, couldst thou not contrive some conveyance to ferry me to the other side? I feel anxious o know my final doom; whether the erjoyment of perfect happiness in the gardens of the blessed, or the torments of those sulphureous flames which I see yonder in curling volumes mount- abode. It is not impossible that the soul, shrouding toward heaven, is to be my eternal ed in a dirty habiliment, as she is, should world. so far forget her real importance, of eternity now, than you did in the other Mercury. So Mr. P. you think more as to fix her affections on an unworthy oject, subvert the vesign of her intelligent faculties, and consequently be dead to every duty of social life, dead to every principle of honor and honesty, and in a word, dead to every purpose of her creation. It not the Miser so absorbed in his golden Mr. P. These Stygian glooms affright me. What will become of my poor soul? Certainty in my distressed situation, is surely more eligible than this horrid suspense; and I cannot but and ferry souls over in the night, it think, that if thou wert to form a canoe, would pay thee well for thy trouble: thou mightest drive a considerable trade (as well as an advantageous one,) by transporting such hell-doomed misI think honestly, it would pay thee well, creants as I, into the Elysian fields, Mercury. Mercury. A pretty trade truly !-to smuggle souls into Elysium! Well calamity. Minos is a stern judge, the mayst thou tremble at thy approaching terror of his countenance will sink horror into thy guilty soul. It may, however, be alledged in favor of it, that the purpose of satire is accomMr. P. plished with (at least) equal success. At that awful period, when The culprit being in a measure dead I am to appear before him, dost thou to a principle of honesty, it is possible not imagine that an ofer of a good sum that he might be quickened by the lash of more would influence him in my of the Satirist, as the rod of correction sometimes reclaims naughty boys. MERCURY & MR. P Mr. P. Is it impossible, then, for me to cross this river? Mercury. Why dost thou repeat this question, have I not told thee a thousand times? Here must thou tarry for thine iniquities, and such is the command of fate. Hast thou not violated the precepts of virtue and morality, hast thou not worshipped gold as thy god, and to fill up the measure of thy guilt, hast favor? Mercury. Minas receiveth no bribes; the gods consider the riches of your world as dross and vanity. They are not like your miserly soul, who mistook that to be happiness, which is only a mean of enjoying life. Mr. P. Would it not have an appearance of generosity? Mercury. Think not to deceive the gods by appearances; hast thou yet the temerity to entertain an idea of imposing upon the Immortals! Is not dissimu lation its own destroyer? What didst thou ever accomplish with it, which afforded thee satisfaction in thy think-only her neighbor, but her very good ing moments? friend. I advised with her in all her Mr. P. Have not I by the appearance worldly concerns-besides doing divers of sanctity and honesty obtained a good little acts of kindness for her from time report among men? By throwing a dark to time, and never failed to set a full valveil of hypocrisy over my real intentions, ue upon them, by jogging her memory, as have I not been seen among the number they say, when I made her will-and you of the select, and in public offices and see, she was very noble and generous to employments where by the bye, I me in the end, leaving me one legacy in never forgot my governing principle of compensation for my former services, gain, to which add my characters of a and the time and trouble which I might Committee man, a referee, a merchant, or should be at, in paying off her be. a broker, an insurer, an executor and--- queathments--and the other for--in Mercury. Stop, stop, do tell me consideration of our friendship-our something about your executorship. Iold acquaintance-and all that! attended a venerable widow to the Elysian fields about two or three years ago, when she saw your character in its true colors. She told me with regret that she had appointed you to divide her estate among the friends she left behind; since this, a number of reports have circulated here not much to your advantage I should like to know the truth from your own mouth. Mr. P. 1 acknowledge there was a little finesse there-nay I will go further, you may believe me Mercury-there were some masterly strokes of policy displayed in the manavaring of all that Mercury. A very plausible story!— and pray how long did it take you to pay off the legacies? tell me the truth; for I perceive by the abominable lies that you have told me, that you was a very shuffling fellow. Mr. P. Shuffling fellow, Sir, what do you mean by that? I'd have you to know, Sir, that I am not used to such language. When I was alive, Sir, I maintained the character of an honest man, though a little hard in my dealings ani sometimes too close. Mercury. Put on no airs here sirrah! or with one touch of this wand business. I defy Machiavel with Mr. P. I beg your pardon Mr. MerMammon at one elbow, and your honor cury, I was indeed too hasty-but I at the other, to have executed that af- own to you that if my conduct was reFair with half the secresy, circumspec-prehensible, I was ignorant of it; I was tion, hypocrisy and sound judgment that I did. You say she told you with regret that I was appointed executor— poor lady!-it seems her eyes were never opened, till they were closed forever!-and yet she lived to be very old. Mercury. That I had not the pleasure to introduce her to Elysium many years sooner, is not, I suppose your fault. Had she her senses when she dictated that will to you, or did she dictate it at all? Mr. P. Why do you ask me that question? Mercury. Did not people stare to find your name twice mentioned in the same will? with so considerable a sum along si le of it, each time? but old people are apt to be forgetful-perhaps she ordered you the second sum inadvertently-or through mistake! confident I was making money, and why should I investigate the difference bs. tween right and wrong. I acted unformly consistent, I made it a rule with all the legatees that if they would give me a receipt for £500 when I paid them but £400 I was ready to settle with them. Some, whose necessit; countervailed their conscience were ready to Mercury. Say rather, some whose mean opinion of thy honesty compelled them to put up with a loss. Mr. P. Have it as you will-Yet Sir, there were others, (which circumstance I recollect with pleasure) whose redundancy of conscience scrupled signing to a lie, by which lucky method I kept them out of the money all my life time-to my great emolument; for I lodged these monies in the bank, where the interest is drawn monthly, Mr. P. Ah! Mr. Mercury you and this interest added to the principal are pleased to be a little ironical-Itwelve times in a year, I received comalways heard you was a witty fellow-pound interest so many times-the but you must consider that I was not inoney grew like a snow-ball rolled down hill Oh that I could return to that dear world, and live to an antidiluvian age-what a fortune could I acquire! Mercury. I am astonished at the depravity of the human race!-don't you think you was a diabolical rascal? Mr. P. I offered terms to themthey had their choice and was I to blame, Mr. Mercury? Mercury. The fowler spreads his net; the bird is taken of his own accord; but is the fowler less treacherous, Mr. P. You have evaded my question, how long was the estate in your hands! Mercury. Is it true that the directors of the bank offered you £1500. for your bargain-you say nothing of that. Mr. P. Why-I cannot say but it is, yet I knew it to be worth much more,, and therefore refused it. Mercury. Where was your conscience, Mr. P. ? Mr. P. Conscience, Mr. Mercury! do you talk to me of that! where was your conscience when you stole king Admetus's cows, or what is worse, when you took Vulcan's tools, which were of no value !-When you stole Jupiter's sceptre, which I suppose was very cost then you had a great temptation-If I had had the same opportunity I don't know but Mr. P. Ever since you conductedly, the soul of the widow to its happy abode, and that is two or three years ago-and to divide her estate among so many legatees has taken me much longer than you would think for, owing to their obstinacy entirely-Why Sir, they would not settle, because I demanded a discount of only twenty five per cent for prompt payment. Mercury. You forget where you are. I perceive that you are as ignorant as you was parsimonious; but admitting these to be some of the follies of my youth, did I not invent commerce, weights and measures-was I not famous for making peace, and a long train of Mercury. Cease thy impertinence thou virtues, for which you give me no credit, lying scoundrel-to demand a discount and for which I am enrolled among the of five and twenty per cent for prompt number of the gods? But as to thee, payment, two or three years after the miserable wretch! what good action money became due!-What punishment didst thou ever perform? on the conmust the righteous Judge award thee!trary, hast thou not ground the faces of Happy for the country that bore thee, the poor, practised every species of inthat Jupiter shed over thy mind the justice, and spurned the supplicating seeds of knowledge with a sparing child of adversity from thy door with hand-for surely the gods, foreknowing contempt and should the all-just Mithy evil destiny, contracted thy intelli- nos spurn thee from the footstool of the gent powers to the sphere thou wert or- throne of mercy, would it not appear an dained to move in. Else had thy power equal punishment, for the conduct thou and unrelenting cruelty sacrificed that hast shewn toward thy fellow men?---country at the shrine of thy rapacious You resemble Battus, the herdsman, to avarice. Why hadst thou not the hon- whom I entrusted the cattle I had esty to pay off the legacies agreeably stolen, but of whose falshood and perfidy I revenged myself by turning him into a stone called Index. You, like Battus, deserve to be metamorphosed to an Index, a Stone held up to the view of mankind to point out the extent of human depravity. to the will? Mr. P. As to the matter of thatthou art certainly sufficiently acquainted with laro, to know that I had no right to pay them under twelve months at least. Mercury. I thought you hinted just now, that this estate was in vour hands, till the day of your death. How in the name of wonder can that be? Mr. P. A fair purchase! Sir, a fair purchase! You must know that the estate you refer to, is contiguous to my own, and so very handy that I had long determined to possess it; and when it fell into my hands, I made a sham vendue (as the law requires) and bought it myself for £750. Mr. P. But Mercury thou wast not only worshipped as the god of oratory, but as the god of rogues, cf. gain, and of cheating also, and therefore thou oughtest to be a little more merciful toward me, who have been in the same tract all the days of my life. Mercury. Hast thou practised my virtues too? Mr. P. It is impossible to attain to every human perfection: the life of man is so short |