Matrimony hath many children; Repentance, Difcord, Poverty, Jealoufy, Sicknefs, Spleen, Loathing, &c. Vifion is the art of feeing things invifible. The two maxims of any great man at court are, Always to keep his countenance; and, Never to keep his word. I asked a poor man how he did? He faid, he was like a wash-ball, always in decay. Hippocrates, aph. 32. sect. 6. obferves, that ftuttering people are always fubject to a looseness. I wish physicians had power to remove the profusion of words, in many people, to the inferior parts. A man dreamed he was a cuckold; a friend told him it was a bad fign, because when a dream is true, Virgil fays it paffes through the horned gate. Love is a flame: And therefore we fay, beauty is attractive; because physicians observe that fire is a great drawer. Civis, the most honourable name among the Romans; a citizen, a word of contempt among us. A lady who had gallantries and several children, told her husband, he was like the austere man, who reaped where he did not fow. We read that an afs's head was fold for eighty pieces of filver; they have been lately fold ten thousand times dearer, and yet they were never more plentiful. I I must complain the cards are ill fhuffled, till I have a good hand. Very few men do properly live at present, but are providing to live another time. When I am reading a book, whether wife or filly, it feems to me to be alive, and talking to me. Whoever live at a different end of the town from me, I look upon as perfons out of the world, and only myself, and the scene about me, to be in it. When I was young, I thought all the world, as well as myself, was wholly taken up in difcourfing upon the laft new play. My Lord Cromarty, after fourscore, went to his country-houfe in Scotland, with a refolution to stay fix years there, and live thriftily, in order to fave up money, that he might spend in London. It is faid of the horses in the vifion, that their power was in their mouths, and in their tails. What is faid of horfes in the vifion, in reality may be faid of women. Elephants are always drawn fmaller than the life, but a flea always larger. When old folks tell us of many paffages in their youth between them and their company, we are apt to think how much happier thofe times were than the prefent. Why does the elder fifter dance barefoot, when the younger is married before her? Is it not that fhe The may appear fhorter, and confequently be thought younger than the bride ? No man will take counsel, but every man will take money: Therefore money is better than counfel. I never yet knew a wag (as the term is) who was not a dunce. A perfon reading to me a dull poem of his own making, I prevailed on him to fcratch out fix lines together: In turning over the leaf, the ink being wet, it marked as many lines on the other fide; whereof the poet complaining, I bid him be easy, for it would be better if those were out too. At Windfor I was obferving to my Lord Bolingbroke, that the tower where the maids of honour lodged (who at that time were not very handfome) was much frequented with crows. My Lord faid, it was because they fmelt carrion. THE THE BLUNDERS, DEFICIENCIES, DISTRESSES, AND MISFORTUNES of QUILCA. Propofed to contain one and twenty volumes in quarto. Begun April 20. 1724. To be continued weekly, if due encouragement be given. BUT UT one lock and a half in the whole house. The empty bottles all uncleanable. The new houfe all going to ruin before it is finished. One hinge of the ftreet-door broke off, and the people forced to go out and come in at the back-door. The door of the Dean's bed-chamber full of large chinks. The beaufet letting in fo much wind, that it almoft blows out the candles. The Dean's bed threatening every night to fall under him. The little table loofe and broken in the joints. The paffages open over head, by which the cats pafs continually into the cellar, and eat the victuals; victuals; for which one was tried, condemned, and executed by the fword. The large table in a very tottering condition. But one chair in the house fit for fitting on, and that in a very ill state of health. The kitchen perpetually crouded with savages. Not a bit of mutton to be had in the country. Want of beds, and a mutiny thereupon among the fervants, till fupplied from Kells. An egregious want of all the most common neceffary utenfils. Not a bit of turf this cold weather; and Mrs Johnson, and the Dean in perfon, with all their fervants, forced to affift at the bog in gathering up the wet bottoms of old clamps. The grate in the ladies bed-chamber broke, and forced to be removed, by which they were compelled to be without fire; the chimney smoking intolerably; and the Dean's great coat was employed to stop the wind from coming down the chimney, without which expedient they must have been starved to death. A meffenger fent a mile to borrow an old broken tundish. Bottles ftopped with bits of wood and tow, inftead of corks. Not one utenfil for a fire, except an old pair of tongs, which travels through the house, and is likewife employed to take the meat out of the pot, for want of a flesh-fork. VOL. XI. нь Every |