muring thought. Let me ever say, "Not my will, but thine be done."

May 16. Eliza is gone-my dear, my love. ly sister. She has passed the vale of death, and is now, I trust, in glory. I was with her in her last moments, watched her dying pillow, and saw her expire. It was my earnest prayer, that she might depart in peace, and it was a comfort to me, that she died like a lamb. Lord, let this affliction be sanctified to the family. O fit me for my latter end, which I view to be near. Let my last hour be as tranquil and peaceful as hers.

All is

June 25. Time flies away, and I do nothing for God. It seems to me, I am as vile a being, as ever inhabited this guilty world. mixed with sin. Every thing appears hateful on the review, and ought to be repented of. Alas, alas, wo is me. I am unclean. Sinful, vile wretch. Is God hoiy? How then can he bear with a worm, who deserves hell every day! O it is mercy, it is all mercy. Be thankful, O my soul, and bless his holy name.

Sept. 10. This day I am 17 years old. I do not expect to see 17 years more; nor do I wish to, unless I can be useful. I can hardly reconcile myself to the idea of a long life. So sluggish, so stupid, so careless have I been, 'that, if the future should be spent in such a manner, alas, my soul shrinks at the idea. O Lord, fit me for death.

Sept. 24. Felt some freedom in approaching to God. O the felicity of one moment's communion with God. If it is so sweet to draw nigh to him here, O what will it be to see him face to face in heaven? Can I, O can 1, five

without him? If I love any thing more than God, I do not love him at all. Let me then look into my heart. Is there any one thing I prize more than God? I think Tcan say, I see the vanity of this world, and find, it can afford me no solid satisfaction. O why should I live, but to serve and glorify God!

Oct. 29. I have returned from the gay companions, with whom I am obliged to associate, glad to retire to my chamber. I have endeavored to look within, and find I have more reason for doubts and fears than ever. I believe Christians exercise much self-denial; but wherein do I deny myself? There is sometimes a great deal of levity in my manners; and often, after I have indulged it for a mo ment, I am cut to the heart. Such solemn scenes are before us, that it seems a wonder, that any can be gay. I think the Savior is precious to me, and I know not whom I do love, if I love not him.

Nov. 19. One more week is past, and I am hastening to the silent tomb. I have been apprised of the death of Mrs. Emerson. She is gone to be known on earth no more. Shall I not learn to value more that precious Savior, who appeared for her, supported and comforted her in the hour of death? O may I have that religion, which was hers, and say in my last moments, as she did, "My Jesus is mine, and I am his."

Dec. 1. Thanksgiving. This I expect will prove the last anniversary of this kind, I shall ever live to see. By the return of another, Fanny's remains may be mouldering under the clods of the valley. No matter how soon, if

death fixes me in the embraces of my God and Savior. "Farewell to sin and sorrow; I bid you all adieu.”

Letter to Miss N. B. of Beverly, without date. My dear Nancy,

How awful, how dangerous is the situation of the impenitent sinner. He is going on in opposition to a holy God, violating his reasonable commands, rejecting Jesus Christ, the Redeemer, and grieving the Holy Spirit. He hangs on the brink of eternal wo, suspended by the slender thread of life. O, if this thread should break, while he continues incorrigible, what must be his portion! Eternal truth shall answer; "Depart, from me, ye cursed into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels." O Nancy, how dreadful the sentence. What a hell of hells must it be to be separated from God, the only source of happiness. Alas, my heart shrinks from the idea. How can we think of taking up our eternal abode with devils and damned spirits, to join in blaspheming an Almighty God? Is not the thought distressing? Then let us be up and doing, and pressing into the kingdom of heaven.

Do you, Nancy, feel happy? Do you think you could be happy in heaven, with the heart you now possess? Heaven is a place of perfect holiness. Now, unless we be holy, vain is the idea of ever being inhabitants of those blessed mansions. Thus saith the Lord, "Be ye holy, for I am holy." Tho we lead a moral life, yet if our hearts remain unrenewed, what will it avail? God looks at the heart. He sees our

every thought. Even should we deceive ourselves and others, still we cannot deceive him. We are prone to flatter ourselves, and think all is well. Then let us cry with holy David, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my thoughts; and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

JOURNAL, 1809.

March 18. Since I last wrote, I have been confined by sickness. I have had the same fever, which terminated the earthly existence of my beloved sister Eliza. I viewed myself as near the grave, and soon to enter upon an eternal state. I felt weaned from all earthly enjoyments, and I think entirely resigned to the sovereign will of God. I even felt reluctant to the idea of staying longer in this vain world. My desire was to be holy like God, and forever to dwell with him. But God had determined otherwise. I am spared awhile-raised from a weak and debilitated state to comfortable health. And O that the remainder of my life may be spent in communing and walking with God.

March 31. I am more and more impressed with a sense of the vanity of this deceitful world. To day my thoughts have been much employed on this theme. What are carnal pleasures to a soul just entering eternity! Can the dying have any relish for vain amusements? A sick, a dying bed-what is it? To be emaciated with extreme weakness and excruciating pain, without the comforts of relig son, without an interest in a bleeding Savior

what heart can conceive, what pen can delineate, the affecting scene? O let sinners fear and tremble. O my soul, ponder on this weighty subject, and flee for refuge to the benevolent Savior.

April 5. Tomorrow is proclaimed a day of public fasting. O that we as a nation may fast as becometh us. Much, very much, do we need humiliation. May I be active in preparing for the approaching morn. May I mourn for myself and my fellow mortals, deplore our vile ingratitude, and invoke the blessings of injured heaven to rest upon us.

April 6. Evening. This anniversary is gone forever. What good have I derived? What have been my motives in attending public worship? Did I go to pay homage to Jehovah? or was I influenced by sordid views? Have I applied the sermons to my own heart? Do I grieve for the sins of others, and earnestly pray for their salvation? O let me thoroughly investigate my heart, and search out its latent evils. From that contaminated fountain proceed all sinful actions. O how important the injunction of the wise man, "Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life."

April 29. I fear, I greatly fear, my pretences to religion are hypocritical. Is it possible? Can I, O can I be so base, as to profess religion, and my heart remain a stranger to it? I may deceive myself and others, but an omniscient God I can never deceive. O should I be found destitute of genuine religion-a nominal, but not a real Christian-a professor but not a possessor-the thought is terror