b

enfue. Such was that of a moft ingenious poet, who, folliciting his brain for fomething new, compared himfelf to the hangman, and his patron to the patient: this was infigne, recens, indictum ore alio. When I went through that neceffary and noble courfe of ftudy, I had the happinefs to obferve many fuch egregious touches, which I fhall not injure the authors by transplanting: because I have remarked, that nothing is fo very tender as a modern piece of wit, and which is apt to fuffer so much in the carriage. Some things are extreamly witty to-day, or fasting, or in this place, or at eight a clock, or over a bottle, or spoke by Mr. Whatd'y call'm, or in a fummer's morning any of the which, by the smalleft tranfpofal or mifapplication, is utterly annihilate. Thus, wit has its walks and purlieus, out of which it may not ftray the breadth of an hair, upon peril of being loft. The moderns have artfully fixed this mercury, and reduced it to the circumftances of time, place, and perfon. Such a jeft there is,

a Hor. Something extrabrWinary, new, and never hit

upon before.

Reading prefaces, &c.

that

;

that will not pass out of Covent-Garden; and fuch a one, that is no where intelligible but at Hyde-Park corner. Now, though it sometimes tenderly affects me to. confider, that all the towardly paffages I fhall deliver in the following treatise, will grow quite out of date and relish with the firft fhifting of the present scene, yet I must needs fubfcribe to the justice of this proceeding? becaufe, I cannot imagine why we fhould be at expence to furnish wit for fucceeding ages, when the former have made no sort of provifion for ours: wherein I speak the fentiment of the very neweft, and confequently the moft orthodox refiners, as well as my own. However, being extreamly follicitous, that every accomplished perfon, who has got into the tafte of wit calculated for this prefent month of August, 1697, fhould defcend to the very bottom of all the fublime thoughout this treatife; I hold fit to lay down this general maxim: whatever reader defires to have a thorough comprehenfion of an author's thoughts, cannot take a better method, than by putting himself into the circumftances and postures

of

of life, that the writer was in upon every -important paffage, as it flowed from his pen: for this will introduce a parity and ftrict correfpondence of ideas between the reader and the author. Now, to affist the diligent reader in fo delicate an affair, as far as brevity will permit, I have recollected, that the fhrewdeft pieces of this treatife were conceived in bed, in a garret; at other times, for a reafon beft known to myself, I thought fit to sharpen my invention with hunger; and in general, the whole work was begun, continued, and ended, under a long course of phyfic, and a great want of money. Now, I do affirm, it will be abfolutely impoffible for the candid perufer to go along with me in a great many bright paffages, unless, upon the feveral difficulties emergent, he will please to capacitate and prepare himfelf by these directions. And this I lay down as my principal poftulatum.

Because I have profeffed to be a most devoted fervant of all modern forms, I apprehend fome curious wit may object against me, for proceeding thus far in a preface without declaiming, according to

the

the custom against the multitude of writers, whereof the whole multitude of writ 'ers most reasonably complain. I am juft come from perufing fome hundreds of prefaces, wherein the authors do at the very beginning address the gentle reader concerning this enormous grievance. Of these I have preferved a few examples, cand fhall fet them down as near as my memory has been able to retain them.

One begins thus;

For a man to fet up for a writer, when the prefs fwarms with, &c.

Another;

The tax upon paper does not leffen the number of fcriblers, who daily pefter, &c.

Another;

When every little would-be-wit takes pen in hand, 'tis in vain to enter the lifts, &c.

Another;

To obferve what trash the prefs fearms with, &c.

Another;

Another';

Sir, It is merely in obedience to your commands, that I venture into the public; for who upon a lefs confideration would be of a party with fuch a rabble of fcriblers, &c.

Now, I have two words in my own -defence against this objection. First, I am far from granting the number of writers a nuisance to our nation, having ftrenuously maintained the contrary in feveral parts of the following difcourfe. Secondly, I do not well understand the juftice of this proceeding; becaufe 1 obferve many of thefe polite prefaces to be not only from the fame hand, but from thofe, who are moft voluminous in their feveral productions. Upon which, I fhall tell the reader a fhort tale:

J

A mountebank, in Leicester-Fields, had drawn a huge affembly about him. Among the reft, a fat unwieldy fellow, half ftifled in the prefs, would be every fit crying out, Lord! what a filthy croud is here? pray, good people, give way a little. Bless me! what a devil has raked this rabble together: z-ds, what squeezing is this!

honeft