WERE READ BEFORE THE CONCLUDING PARAGRAPH OF THE SERMON. TO DR. RYLAND. Birmingham, Dec. 9, 1798. MY DEAR BROTHER, AFTER a Sabbath-such a one as I never knew beforespent in an entire seclusion from the house and ordinances of my God, I seek Christian converse with you, in a way in which I am yet permitted to have intercourse with my brethren. The day after I wrote to you last, my medical attendant laid me under the strictest injunctions not to speak again in public for one month at least. He says that my stomach is become so irritable, through repeated inflammations, that conversation, unless managed with great caution, would be dangerous;-that he does not think my present condition alarming, provided I take rest, but without that, he intimated my life was in great danger. He forbids my exposing myself to the evening air on any account, and going out of doors, or to the door, unless when the air is dry and clear, so that I am, during the weather we now have in Birmingham, (very foggy,) a complete prisoner; and the repeated cautions from my dear and affectionate friends, whose solicitude, I conceive, far exceeds the danger, compel me to a rigid observance of the doctor's rules. This morning brother Pope took my place; and in the afternoon Mr. Brewer, who has discovered uncommon tenderness and respect for me and the people, since he knew my state, preached a very affectionate sermon from 1 Sam. iii. 18. "It is the Lord, let him do what seemeth him good." By what I hear, his sympathizing observations, in relation to the event which occasioned his being then in the pulpit, drew more tears from the people's eyes, than a dozen such poor creatures as their pastor could deserve. But I have. .. blessed be God! long had the satisfaction of finding myself embosomed in friendship . . . the friendship of the people of my charge: though I lament that their love should occasion them a pang-but thus it is- -our heavenly Father sees that, for our mixed characters, a mixed state is best. I anticipated a day of gloom, but I had unexpected reason to rejoice, that the shadow of death was turned into the joy of the morning; and though I said, with perhaps before unequalled feeling, "How amiable are thy tabernacles !" yet I found the God of Zion does not neglect the dwellings of Jacob. My poor wife was much affected at so novel a thing as leaving me behind her, and so it was a dewy morning; but the Sun of Righteousness soon arose, and shed such ineffable delight throughout my soul, that I could say, 'It is good to be here.'-Motive to resignation and gratitude also, crowded upon motive, till my judgment was convinced that I ought to rejoice in the Lord exceedingly, and so my whole soul took its fill of joy. May I, if it be my Saviour's will, feel as happy when I come to die! When my poor Sarah lay at the point of death, for some days after first lying in, towards the latter days, I enjoyed such support, and felt my will so entirely bowed down to that of God, that I said in my heart,' I shall never fear another trial-he that sustained me amidst this flame, will defend me from every spark!' and this confidence I long enjoyed.-But that was near six years ago, and I had almost forgotten the land of the Hermonites, and the hill Mizar. But the Lord has prepared me to receive a fresh display of his fatherly care, and his (shall I call it ?) punctilious veracity. If I should be raised up again, I shall be able to preach on the faithfulness of God more experimentally than ever. Perhaps some trial is coming on, and I am to be instrumental in preparing them for it: Or, if not, if I am to depart hence to be no more seen, I know the Lord can carry on his work as well without me as with me. He who redeemed the sheep with his blood, will never suffer them to perish for want of shepherding, especially since he himself is the chief Shepherd of souls. But my family! Ah, there I find my faith but still imperfect. However, I do not think the Lord will ever take me away, till he helps me to leave my fatherless children in his hands, and trust my widow also with him. "His love in times past," and I may add in times present too, “forbids me to think, he will leave me at last, in trouble to sink." Whilst my weakness was gaining ground, I used to ask myself, how I could like to be laid by? I have dreamed that this was the case, and both awake and asleep, I felt as though it were an evil that could not be borne :-but now I find the Lord can fit the back to the burden, and though I think I love the thought of serving Christ at this moment better than ever, yet he has made me willing to be. . . . nothing, if he please to have it so; and now my happy heart" could sing itself away to everlasting bliss." O what a mercy that I have not brought on my affliction by serving the devil! What a mercy that I have so many dear sympathizing friends! What a mercy that I have so much dear domestic comfort! What a mercy that I am in no violent bodily pain! What a mercy that I can read and write without doing myself an injury! What a mercy that my animal spirits have all the time this has been coming on, (ever since the last Kettering meeting of ministers,) been vigorous-free from dejection! And, which I reckon among the greatest of this day's privileges, what a mercy that I have been able to employ myself for Christ and his dear cause to-day, as I have been almost wholly occupied in the concerns of the (I hope) reviving church at Bromsgrove; and the infant church at Cradley! O my dear brother, it is all mercy, is it not? O help me then in his praise, for he is good, for his mercy endureth for ever. Ought I to apologize for this experimental chat with you, who have concerns to transact of so much more importance, than any that are confined to an individual? Forgive me if I have intruded too much on your time-but do not forget to praise on my 460 behalf a faithful God. I shall now leave room against I have some business to write about-till then, adieu--but let us not forget, that this God is our God for ever and ever, and will be our guide even until death. Amen. Amen. We shall soon meet in heaven. "S. P." TO MR. KING. MY VERY DEAR FRIEND AND BROTHER, Plymouth, April 23, 1799. I HAVE the satisfaction to inform you, that at length my complaint appears to be removed, and that I am, by degrees, returning to my usual diet, by which, with the divine blessing, I hope to be again strengthened for the discharge of the duties, and the enjoyment of the pleasures, which await me among the dear people of my charge. I am indeed informed by my medical attendant here, that I shall never be equal to the labours of my past years, and that my return to moderate efforts must be made by slow degrees. As the path of duty, I desire to submit; but after so long a suspension from serving the Redeemer in his church, my soul pants for usefulness more extensive than ever, and I long to become an apostle to the world. I do not think I ever prized the ministerial work so much as I now do. Two questions have been long before me. The first was, Shall I live or die? The second, If I live, how will my life be spent? With regard to the former, my heart answered, "It is no matter-all is well-for my own sake, I need not be taught that it is best to be with Christ; but for the sake of others, it may be best to abide in the body—I am in the Lord's hands, let him do by me as seemeth him best for me and mine, and for his cause and honour in the world? But as to the second question, I could hardly reconcile myself to the thoughts of living, unless it were to promote the interest of my Lord; and if my disorder should so far weaken me as to render me incapable of the ministry, nothing then appeared before me but gloom and darkness. However, I will hope in the Lord, that though he had chastened me sorely, yet, since he hath not given me over unto death, sparing mercy will be followed with strength, that I may show forth his praise in the land of the living. I am still exceedingly weak); more so than at any period before I left home, except the first week of my lying by; but I am getting strength, though slowly. It is impossible at present to fix any time for my return. It grieves me that the patience of the dear people should be so long tried; but the trial is as great on my part as it can be on theirs, and we must pity and pray for one another. It is now a task for me to write at all, or this should have been longer. TO MR. POPE. "S. P." "Plymouth, May 24, 1799. I CANNOT write much-this I believe is the only letter I have written (except to my wife) since I wrote to you last. My complaint has issued in a confirmed, slow, nervous fever, which has wasted my spirits and strength, and taken a great part of the little flesh I had when in health away from me. The symptoms have been very threatening, and I have repeatedly thought that, let the physician do what he will, he cannot keep me long from those heavenly joys, for which, blessed be God, I have lately been much longing; and were it not for my dear people and family, I should have earnestly prayed for leave to depart, and be with Christ, which is so much better than to abide in this vain, suffering, sinning world. The doctors, however, pronounce my case very hopeful-say there is little or no danger-but that all these complaints require a great deal of time to get rid of. I still feel myself on precarious ground, but quite resigned to the will of Him who, unworthy as I am, continues daily to "fill my soul with joy and peace in believing." Yes, my dear friend! now my soul feels the value of a free, full, and everlasting salvation, while I rest all my hope on VOL. VI. 59 |