You're a Christian, no doubt you believe, you believe: You're a martyr, whatever you be! - Is the breakfast-hour past? They must wait, they must wait, While the coffee boils sullenly down, While the Johnny-cake burns on the grate, on the grate, And the toast is done frightfully brown. - Yes, your dinner will keep; let it cool, let it cool, And Madam may worry and fret, And children half-starved go to school, go to school; Hark! the bell for the train! "Come along! Come along! For there is n't a second to lose." "ALL ABOARD!" (He holds on.) Fsht! ding-dong!' You can follow on foot, if you "Fsht! ding-dong! choose. -There's a maid with a cheek like a peach, like a peach, That is waiting for you in the church; But he clings to your side like a leech, like a leech, -There's a babe in a fit, hurry quick! hurry quick! To the doctor's as fast as you can! The baby is off, while you stick, while you stick, In the grip of the dreadful Old Man! -I have looked on the face of the Bore, of the Bore; The voice of the Simple I know; I have welcomed the Flat at my door, at my door; I have sat by the side of the Slow ; I have walked like a lamb by the friend, by the friend, That stuck to my skirts like a burr ; I have borne the stale talk without end, without end, Of the sitter whom nothing could stir: But my hamstrings grow loose, and I shake, and I shake, Yea, I quiver and quake, and I take, and I take, O the dreadful Old Man of the Sea, of the Sea! And be sure that he 'll have it on you! ODE FOR A SOCIAL MEETING. WITH SLIGHT ALTERATIONS BY A TEETOTALER. COME! fill a fresh bumper, for why should we go logwood While the neetar still reddens our cups as they flow? decoction Pour out the rich juices still bright with the sun, dye-stuff Till o'er the brimmed crystal the rubies shall run. half-ripened apples The purple globed clusters their life-dews have bled ; taste sugar of lead How sweet is the breath of the fragrance they shed! rank poisons wines!!! For summer's last roses lie hid in the wines stable-boys smoking long-nines. That were garnered by maidens who laughed thre'the vines. scowl howl scoff sneer Then a smile, and a glass, and a toast, and a eheer, In cellar, in pantry, in attic, in hall, Down, down with the tyrant that masters us all! Long live the gay servant that laughs for us all! THE DEACON'S MASTERPIECE: OR THE WONDERFUL "ONE-HOSS SHAY." A LOGICAL STORY. HAVE you heard of the wonderful one-hoss shay, That was built in such a logical way It ran a hundred years to a day, And then, of a sudden, it ah, but stay, I'll tell you what happened without delay, Scaring the parson into fits, Frightening people out of their wits, Have you ever heard of that, I say? Seventeen hundred and fifty-five. It was on the terrible Earthquake-day Now in building of chaises, I tell you what, In screw, bolt, thoroughbrace, lurking still, A chaise breaks down, but does n't wear out. But the Deacon swore, (as Deacons do, It should be so built that it couldn' break daown: "Fur," said the Deacon, "'t 's mighty plain Thut the weakes' place mus' stan' the strain; 'n' the way t' fix it, uz I maintain, Is only jest T' make that place uz strong uz the rest." So the Deacon inquired of the village folk |