Lofs of Virility's averr'd
To be the cause of loss of Beard,
That does (like Embryo in the womb)
Abortive on the Chin become.
This first a Woman did invent,
In envy of Man's Ornament.
Semiramis of Babylon,
Who first of all cut Men o' th' Stone,
To mar their Beards, and laid Foundation
Of Sow-geldering Operation.
Look on this Beard, and tell me whether
Eunuchs were fuch, or Geldings either.
Next it appears I am no Horfe,
That I can argue, and discourse,
Have but two legs, and ne'er a tail,
Quoth fhe, That nothing will avail;
For fome Philofophers of late here
Write, Men have four Legs by Nature,
And that 'tis Cuftom makes them go
Erron'ously upon but two;
As 'twas in Germany made good
B'a Boy that loft himself in a Wood;
The ARGUMENT of the SECOND CANTO.
The Knight and Squire in bot Dispute,
Within an Ace of falling out,
Are parted with a fudden fright
Of strange Allarm, and ftranger fight;
ith which adventuring to flickle,
They're fent away in nafty pickle.
(Like Bawd and Brandee) with Difpute,
That for their own Opinions ftand fast,
Only to have claw'd and canvaft.
That keep their Confciences in Cafes,
As Fidlers do their Crowds and Bafes,
Ne'er to be us'd but when they're bent.
To play a Fit for Argument.
Make true and false, unjust and just,
Of no use but to be difcuft.
Difpute and fet a Paradox,
Like a ftraight Boot upon the Stocks,
And ftretch it more unmercifully,
Than Helmont, Mountaign, White, or Tally..
So th' Ancient Stoicks in their Porch
With fierce difpute maintain'd their Church,
Beat out their Brains in fight and study,
- To prove that Virtue is a Body;
That Bon is an Animal,
Made good with tour Polemick braul:
In which, fome hundreds on the place
Where flain outright, and
many a Face Retrench'd of Nose, and Eyes, and Beard, To maintain what their Sect averr'd.
All which the Knight and Squire in wrath
Had like t' have fuffer'd for their Faith;
Each striving to make good his own,
As by the sequel fhall be shown.
The Sun had long fince in the Lap
Of Thetis taken out his Nap,
And likea Lobster boil'd, the Morn
From black to red began to tur.
When Hudibras, whom thoughts and aking
"Twixt fleeping kept all night, and waking,
Began to rub his droufie Eyes,
And from his Couch prepar'd to rife;
Refolving to dispatch the Deed
He vow'd to do with trufty speed.
But first, with knocking loud and bauling,
He rous'd the Squire, in Truckle lolling,
And after many Circumftances,
Which vulgar Authors in Romances
Do ufe to spend their time and wits on,
To make impertinent Description,
They got (with much ado) to Horse,
And to the Castle bent their Course,
In which, he to the Dame before
To fuffer whipping Duty swore:
Where now arriv'd, and half unharnet,
To carry on the Work in earnest,
He ftopt and paus'd upon the fudden,
And with a Serious forehead plodding,
Sprung a new Scruple in his head,
Which firft he scratch'd, and after faid;
Whether it be direct infringing
An Oath, If I fhou'd wave this swinging,
And what I've fworn to bear, forbear,
And fo b' Equivocation fwear;
Or whether 't be a leffer Sin
To be forfworn, than act the thing,
Are deep and fubtil points, which must,
T' inform my Conscience, be discust.
In which to err a tittle may
To errours infinite make way:
And therefore I defire to know
Thy Judgment e'er we farther go.
Quoth Ralpho, Since you do injoin't
I fhall enlarge upon the Point.
And for my own part do not doubt
Th' Affirmative may be made out,
But firft to state the Case aright,
For beft advantage of our Light;
And thus 'tis: Whether 't be a Sin
To claw and curry your own Skin
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