better penny-worth by fatyr, than by any other productions of the brain, the world being fooneft provoked to praise by lafbes, as men are to love. There is a problem in an antient author, why dedications, and other bundles of flattery, run all upon stale mufty topics, without the smallest tincture of any thing new, not only to the torment and naufeating of the chriftian reader, but, if not fuddenly prevented, to the universal spreading of that peftilent disease, the lethargy, in this ifland: whereas there is very little fatyr, which has not fomething in it untouched before. The defects of the former are usually imputed to the want of invention among thofe, who are dealers in that kind; but, I think, with a great deal of injustice, the folution being eafy and natural: for, the materials of panegyric, being very few in number, have been long fince exhaufted. For, as health is but one thing, and has been always the fame, whereas diseases are by thoufands, befides new and daily additions; fo, all the virtues that have been ever in mankind, are to be counted upon a few fingers; -but his follies and vices are innumerable, and time adds hourly to the heap. Now the utmost a poor poet can do, is to get by heart a lift of the cardinal virtues, and deal them with his utmost liberality to his hero or his patron: he may ring the changes as far as it will go, and vary his phrafe 'till he has talked round: but the reader quickly finds it is all

* pork,

* pork, with a little variety of fauce. For there is no inventing terms of art beyond our ideas; and, when our ideas are exhausted, terms of art must be fo too.

But, though the matter for panegyric were as fruitful as the topics of fatyr, yet would it not be hard to find out a fufficient reason, why the latter will be always better received than the first. For this, being beftowed only upon one, or a few perfons at a time, is fure to raise envy, and confequently ill words from the reft, who have no fhare in the bleffing: but fatyr, being levelled at all, is never refented for an offence by any, fince every individual perfon makes bold to understand it of others, and very wifely removes his particular part of the burthen upon the fhoulders of the world, which are broad enough, and able to bear it. To this purpofe, I have fometimes reflected upon the difference between Athens and England with respect to the point before us. In the † Attic commonwealth it was the privilege and birthright of every citizen and poet to rail aloud, and in public, or to expofe upon the stage, by name, any person they pleased, though of the greatest figure, whether a Creon, an Hyperbolus, an Alcibiades, or a Demofthenes: but, on the other fide, the leaft reflecting word let fall against the people in general, was immediately caught up, and revenged upon the authors, however confiderable for their qua

Plutarch. + Vide Xen.

lity

lity or their merits. Whereas in England is just the reverfe of all this. Here, you may fecurely difplay your utmost rhetoric against mankind, in the face of the world; tell them, "That all are gone aftray; that there is none "that doth good, no not one; that we live in "the very dregs of time; that knavery and "atheism are epidemic as the pax ; that honefty "is fled with Aftrea," with any other common places, equally new and eloquent, which are furnished by the fplendida * bilis. And when you have done, the whole audience, far from being offended, fhall return you thanks, as a deliverer of precious and useful truths. Nay farther; it is but to venture your lungs, and you may preach in CoventGarden against foppery and fornication, and fomething else against pride, and diffimulation, and bribery, at White-Hall: you may expofe rapine and injuftice in the inns of court chapel and, in a city pulpit, be as fierce as you please against avarice, hypocrify, and extortion. 'Tis but a ball bandied to and fro, and every man carries a racket about him to ftrike it from himself among the rest of the company. But, on the other fide, whoever fhould mistake the nature of things fo far, as to drop but a fingle hint in public, how such a one starved half the fleet, and half poisoned the reft: how fuch a one, from a true principle of love and honour, pays no debts but for wenches and play : how fuch a ane has got a

Hor. Spleen.

clap.

elap, and runs out of his eftate : how * Paris, bribed by Juno and Venus, loth to offend either party, flept out the whole caufe on the bench: er, how fuch an orator makes long fpeeches in the fenate with much thought, little fenfe, and to no purpofe; whoever, I fay, fhould venture to be thus particular, muft expect to be imprisoned for fcandalum magnatum; to have challenges fent him; to be fued for defamation; and to be brought before the bar of the bouse.

*།

But I forget that I am expatiating on a fubject, wherein I have no concern, having neither a talent nor an inclination for fatyr! on the other fide, I am so intirely fatisfied with the whole prefent procedure of human things, that I have been fome year's preparing materials towards A panegyric upon the world; to which I intended to add a fecond part, intitled, A modef defence of the proceedings of the rabble in all ages. Both thefe I had thoughts to publish, by way of appendix to the following treatife; but, finding my common- -place book fill much flower than I had reason to expect, I have chosen to defer them to another occafion. Befides, I have been unhappily prevented in that defign by a certain domeftic misfortune, in the particulars whereof, though it would be very seasonable, and

*Juno and Venus, are money and a mistress; very powerful bribes to a judge, if'fcandal fays true. I remember fuch reflections were caft about that time, but I cannot fix the perfon intended here.

and much in the modern way, to inform the gentle reader, and would also be of great affiftance towards extending this preface into the fize now in vogue, which by rule ought to be large in proportion as the fubfequent volume is finall; yet I shall now difmifs our impatient reader from any farther attendance at the porch; and, having duly prepared his mind by a preliminary difcourfe, hall gladly introduce him to the fublime myfteries, that enfue.

A TALE