were both neglected entirely; worldly business and sensual gratifications by turns engrossed me; and the bountiful Giver was never mentioned, except in blasphemy and profaneness. What blessing could indeed attend a life spent in the service of sin, and in rebellion against the Most High? Surely nothing but his tender mercy could save so vile a wretch from total perdition.

"I had removed from Drogheda to Dublin, and engaged in mercantile business; where my affairs soon became so deranged by my imprudence, that I was obliged to fly from my creditors (who were justly exasperated against me) to London.

"After my failure in November 1770, my heart, still unhumbled under the mighty hand of God, remained under the power of sin, amidst all the variegated scenes of flight, exile, and distress. In London I found a new world overspread with allurements to captivate my soul, and my conduct was, as before, equally foolish and wicked. There is, however, such a thing as satiety in vice, even where the real love of it is not all diminished. This was my case. The large draughts of sin and folly which I had taken in the metropolis, occasioned it. I felt a wish to retire to some remote corner of England, where I might live at a cheaper rate, and safe from my creditors. a generous friend providentially supplied me, at a time that I was in the deepest distress, and enabled me to put this scheme into execution.

"I left London about the middle of May 1772, with a view to retire into Yorkshire. In this journey I reached the Humber, a large river which divides Lincolnshire from Yorkshire. While I waited for the passage boat, I observed, on the opposite side, some miles to the left, a beautiful village, standing on an eminence near the river, finely adorned with trees and stately buildings. To me it seemed an earthly paradise. Better than that it proved; for there my heaven began. I was informed that its name

was Ferriby, eight miles from Hull; several of whose opulent merchants adorned it in the manner which had so strongly feasted my sight. I felt myself, however, determined to live there, and found a public house for my reception. The village fully answered my ideas; beautiful beyond description, by its delightful situation and elegant improvements, where was a church served by the Rev. Joseph Milner. He was a lecturer at the High Church in Hull, where he resided, and taught the public grammar school there, and preached on Sunday mornings at Ferriby. I went constantly to hear him, though with no other motives than that mechanical kind of habit which disposes us to do as our neighbours. Little attention did I pay to any thing that came from his lips. His sermons seemed long and tedious, worldly sorrow left no room with me for pious meditation. I felt miserable indeed, but had no idea of applying to that which alone could make me happy.

"Indeed the transitory things of time and sense can make no man happy. In the time of my greatest prosperity it was with me, as with every person who is a stranger to the grace of God,

"That cruel something unpossest,

Corrodes and leavens all the rest."

I passed some time in a distressed state of mind, reflecting with bitterness on my hard fate and worldly trouble. About the beginning of August, instead of going to church on the Lord's day as usual, I sauntered by the river-side to kill time; when I was seized with a violent disorder in my head, and fell down terrified, dreading I was at the eve of death, and prayed to God to spare me, which he mercifully did. In an hour's time I arrived at my lodgings, and in a few days recovered from my frightful apprehensions of a sudden death. But a violent headach ensued, the anguish of which, in a great meatre,

dissipated my worldly sorrow. I concluded that the judgment of God was upon me for neglecting public worship, which I therefore determined to omit no more.

the preacher, who, I doctrine with much

over and over again,

"I now paid more attention to observed, seemed to enforce his earnestness, and positively declared, that except a man be converted, he could not see the kingdom of God. All the conclusions I drew from such assertions, were, that too much learning had made him mad.

"On Sunday, March 28, 1773, my happiness began, though it appeared to me a day of terror indeed. However, it was the day on which the fear of the Lord, which is the beginning of wisdom, took hold of my rebel heart.

"Mr. Milner preached from these words, Marvel not at this; for the hour is coming, in which all that are in their graves shall hear his voice, and shall come forth; they that have done good unto the resurrection of life, and they that have done evil unto the resurrection of damnation. No sooner was the text delivered, than the word reached my heart, quick and powerful, and sharper than a two-edged sword; insomuch that I quaked and trembled. Woe is me! thought I, for I am undone. The vengeance of God has at last overtaken me for my numberless crimes. I was so confounded, that I knew not a word the preacher delivered after giving out his text; even that I forgot. On returning home, I begged my host to shew me the text. On looking over it, I told him, I was undone, that the words it contained condemned me to the resurrection of damnation that instead of doing good, I had spent my whole life in doing evil. He endeavoured to comfort me, but in vain. I now began to pray from a wounded spirit, and humbled myself before God, confessing my sin, and crying out for mercy, if peradventure he would hear me. Cards, and various vanities which I before followed, appeared now so unsuitable to my condition, that I gave them up altogether. But how to be pardoned for my past

F

sins, I knew not. They remained a heavy burden on my soul. I retired every day to a grove at a little distance, to pray and read the bible, a book I had rarely looked into for many years. I could open no part of it, but it shewed me what a hell-deserving sinner I was. This increased my affliction, I now deeply lamented my deplorable state, and wept bitterly for my sins; my rejection of my father's good counsel was as a dagger to my heart. I continued the whole week without hope, dreading that the wrath of God would cast me into hell, never thinking of a Saviour, but imagining that my sins were too heinous to be forgiven.

"The next Sabbath, Mr. Milner preached from the following words: God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him, should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through him might be SAVED. He proclaimed God's most gracious pardon for the most abandoned sinner, that would forsake his sins, repent, and believe in Jesus, whose precious blood cleanseth from all sins, however heinous or numerous. God be thanked, I received some consolations from that discourse; hope revived, and gladness dawned within me.

"Satan, enraged at my giving up all hope of my own righteousness, now cast a stumbling block in my way, in hope of stopping my progress, by filling my mind with Atheism, I was terrified beyond expression, cold drops of sweat fell from me. I arose from prayer, and ran about. the grove as one distracted, struggling, but in vain, against the blasphemous injection. I was now helpless indeed! but that God, who is nigh to the broken hearted, relieved me, by fixing one of his faithful promises so powerfully in my heart, that my atheism was instantly burned up as stubble. The promise was, seek, and ye shall find, a promise worth more to me, than all the

for my

relief.

mines of Peru, which supported me in all my subsequent trials. I was soon composed enough to renew my supplications, and to lift up my heart in thanksgiving to God for my deliverance. My soul was filled with a pleasing expectation, that by seeking the Lord, I should surely find him. And I knew distinctly, for the first time, what is meant by resting on a divine promise. I pressed forward with strong desire, labouring to see the Saviour, with the eye of faith, bleeding on his cross, and would have given the world to call him my own. And though I wavered often through the power of unbelief, yet, on the whole, I constantly fed on the promise, seek and ye shall find. The shall of the Almighty was an anchor of hope to my soul, sure and steadfast, and I was enabled to conclude that he would at length appear "Soon after this, the tempter made a new attack, and suggesting that, as I had lived to grey hairs in the service of sin, I must, by a long course of repentance work myself into a state of holiness, before I could be pardoned : a mistake which cost me many a sorrowful hour: for no sooner had self set up his standard, than I felt my heart stony for the first time. Sometimes at prayer it seemed as it were a ball of iron within me. I could not now shed tears as before, which greatly distressed me: but I was not forsaken; the still, small, but powerful voice of God sounded some hours in my heart every day, drawing me with the cords of redeeming love. The Spirit of God caused my soul to aspire after heavenly things, and forget worldly cares, as if I had been new born. How wonderful art thou, Lord, in all thy ways! How great are thy

mercies to the children of men!

"I wrote an account of these things to my nephew at Dublin, giving him and the rest of my relations the best instructions I could, by which they might obtain the same precious gift. They concluded that I was beside myself, in consequence of which my nephew dispatched a friend to