mention, because I am wonderfully well acquainted with the present relish of our courteous readers: and have often observed, with singular pleasure, that a fly, driven from a honey-pot, will immediately with very good appetite alight, and finish his meal on an excrement. I have one word to say upon the subject of profound writers, who are grown very numerous of late; and I know very well, the judicious world is resolved to list me in that number. I conceive therefore, as to the business of being profound, that it is with writers, as with wells; a person with good eyes may see to the bottom of the deepest, provided any water be there; and often, when there is nothing in the world at the bottom, beside dryness and dirt, though it be but a yard and half under ground, it shall pass however for wondrous deep, upon no wiser a reason, than because it is wondrous dark. : I am now trying an experiment very frequent among modern authors; which is to write upon nothing when the subject is utterly exhausted, to let the pen still move on; by some called, the ghost of wit, delighting to walk after the death of its body. And to say the truth, there seems to be no part of knowledge in fewer hands, than that of discerning when to have done. By the time that an author has written out a book, he and his readers are become old acquaintance, and grow very loth to part; so that I have sometimes known it to be in writing, as in visiting, where the ceremony of taking leave has employed more time, than the whole conversation before. The conclusion of a treatise, resembles the conclusion of human life, which has sometimes been compared to the end of a feast; where few are satisfied to depart, ut plenus vitæ conviva: for men will sit down after the fullest meal, though it be only to doze, or to sleep out the rest of the day. But, in this latter, I differ extremely from other writers; and shall be too proud, if, by all my labours, I can have any ways* contributed to the repose of mankind, in times so turbulent and unquiet as theset. Neither do I think such an employment, so very alien from the office of a wit, as some would suppose. For, among a very polite nation in Greecet, there were the same temples built and consecrated, to Sleep and the Muses; between which two§ deities they believed the strictest friendship was established. reader I have one concluding favour to request of my that he will not expect to be equally diverted and informed, by every line, or every page of this discourse; but give some allowance to the author's spleen, and short fits or intervals of dulness, as well as his own; and lay it seriously to his conscience, whether, if he were walking the streets in dirty weather, or a rainy day, he would allow it fair dealing, in folks at their ease from a window to criticise his gait, and ridicule his dress at such a juncture. In my disposure of employments of the brain, I have thought fit to make invention the master, and to give method, and reason, the office of its lackeys. The cause of this distribution was, from observing it my peculiar case, to be often under a temptation of being witty upon occasions, where I could be neither wise, nor sound, nor any thing to the mat *This is a corruption, introduced into writing from vulgar speech. It should be anywise, not any ways:" wise, adver bially used, signifying mode, or manner: as likerwise, in like manner; norvise, in no manner: often also written, no-ways. S. + This was written before the peace of Ryswick, which was signed in September, 1697. H. Trazenii, Pausan. 1. 2. § The word two is improperly used here: Sleep is considered as one deity, and the Muses in a body, car.not, with any propri ety, be called another. The word two should therefore be omitted, and the sentence run thus, 'between which deities,' &c. S.. ter in hand. And I am too much a servant of the modern way, to neglect any such opportunities, whatever pains or improprieties I may be at, to introduce them. For I have observed, that from a laborious collection of seven hundred thirty-eight flowers, and shining hints of the best modern authors, digested with great reading into my book of common-places, I have not been able, after five years, to draw, hook, or force into common conversation, any more than a dozen. Of which dozen, the one moiety failed of success, by being dropped among unsuitable company; and the other cost me so many strains, and traps, and ambages to introduce, that I at length resolved to give it over. Now, this disappointment (to discover a secret) I must own, gave me the first hint of setting up for an author; and I have since found among some particular friends, that it is become a very general complaint, and has produced the same effects upon many others. For, I have remarked many a towardly word to be wholly neglected or despised in discourse, which has passed very smoothly, with some consideration and esteem, after its preferment and sanction in print. But now, since by the liberty and encouragement of the press, I am grown absolute master of the occasions and opportunities, to expose the talents I have acquired; I already discover, that the issues of my observanda, begin to grow too large for the receipts. Therefore, I shall here pause a while, till I find, by feeling the world's pulse, and my own, that it will be of absolute necessity for us both, to resume my pen. THE HISTORY OF MARTIN. Giving an Account of his Departure from Jack, and their setting up for themselves, on which Account they were obliged to travel and meet many Disasters, finding no Shelter near Peter's Habitation; Martin succeeds in the North; Peter thunders against Martin for the Loss of the large Revenue he used to receive from thence. Harry Huff sent Martin a Challenge to fight, which he received; Peter rewards Harry for the pretended Victory, which encouraged Harry to huff Peter also. With many other extraordinary Adventures of, the said Martin in several Places with many considerable Persons. With a Digression concerning the Nature, Usefulness, and Necessity of Wars and Quarrels *. HOW Jack and Martin, being parted, set up each for himself. How they travelled over hills and dales, met many disasters, suffered much from the good cause, and struggled with difficulties and wants, not having where to lay their head; by all which they afterwards proved themselves to be right father's sons, and Peter to be spurious. Finding no shelter near Peter's habitation, Martin travelled northwards, and finding the Thuringians and neighbouring people disposed to change, he set up his * Inserted in the early editions of the "Tale of a Tub," under the title of Whit follows after Se&t. IX. in the Manuscript; but was omitted in subsequent editions, by the Deau's direction, in order to remove the censure of those who put a construction on it foreign to his design. As in these cooler times the whole allegory has been justly esteemed, the reader will doubtless be pleased at seeing this part of it preserved from oblivion. N. stage first among them; where, making it his business to cry down Peter's powders, plasters, salves, and drugs, which he had sold a long time at a dear rate, allowing Martin none of the profit, though he had been often employed in recommending and putting them off; the good people, willing to save their pence, began to hearken to Martin's speeches. How several great lords took the hint, and on the same account declared for Martin; particularly one, who, not having enough of one wife, wanted to marry a second; and knowing Peter used not to grant such licences but at a swinging price, he struck up a bargain with Martin, whom he found more tractable, and who assured him he had the same power to allow such things. How most of the other northern lords, for their own private ends, withdrew themselves and their dependants from Peter's authority, and closed in with Martin. How Peter, enraged at the loss of such large territories, and consequently of so much revenue, thundered againsť Martin, and sent out the strongest and most terrible of his bulls to devour him; but, this having no effect, and Martin defending himself boldly and dexterously, Peter at last put forth proclamations, declaring Martin, and alf his adherents, rebels and traitors, ordaining and requiring all his loving subjects to take up arms, and to kill, burn, and destroy all and every one of them, promising large rewards, &c. upon which ensued bloody wars and desolation. How Harry Huff, lord of Albion, one of the greatest bullies of those days, sent a cartel to Martin, to fight him on a stage, at cudgels, quarterstaff, back-sword, &c. Hence the origin of that genteel custom of prize-fighting, so well known and practised to this day among those polite islanders, though unknown every where else. How Martin, being a bold blustering fellow, accepted the chal |