only to the men of wit and taste; and he thinks he is not mistaken in his accounts, when he says they have been all of his side, enough to give him the vanity of telling his name; wherein the world, with all its wise conjectures, is yet very much in the dark; which circumstance is no disagreeable amusement either to the publick or himself.

The author is informed, that the bookseller has prevailed on several gentlemen to write some explanatory notes; for the goodness of which he is not to answer, having never seen any of them, nor intending it till they appear in print; when it is not unlikely he may have the pleasure to find twenty meanings, which never entered into his imagi

nation.

POSTSCRIPT.

SINCE the writing of this, which was about a year ago, a prostitute bookseller has published a foolish paper, under the name of "Notes on the Tale of a Tub," with some account of the author; and with an insolence, which I suppose is punishable by law, has presumed to assign certain names, It will be enough for the author to assure the world, that the writer of that paper is utterly wrong in all his conjectures upon that affair. The author farther asserts, that the whole work is entirely of one hand, which every reader of judgment will easily discover; the gentleman, who gave the copy to the bookseller, being a friend of the author, and using no other liberties, beside that of expunging certain passages, where now the chasms appear under the name of desiderata. But, if any person will prove his claim * to three lines in the whole book, let him step forth and tell his name and titles; upon which the bookseller shall have orders to prefix them to the next edition, and the claimant shall from henceforward be acknowledged the undisputed author.

Treatises written by the same author, most of them mentioned in the following discourses; which will be speedily published.

A character of the present set of wits in this island.

A panegyrical essay upon the number Three.
A dissertation upon the principal productions of
Grub-street.

Lectures upon a dissection of Human Nature.
A panegyrick upon the World.

An analytical discourse upon Zeal, histori-theophysi-logically considered.

A general history of Ears.

A modest defence of the proceedings of the Rabble in all ages.

A description of the Kingdom of Absurdities *.

A voyage into England, by a person of quality in terra australis incognita, translated from the original.

A critical essay upon the art of Canting, philosophically, physically, and musically considered.

* As a part of this description, the following sketches are copied from Swift's own hand-writing: "In the Kingdom of Absurdities. The hells of glass, with iron clappers. The houses of gun-powder; and as they are apt to get drunk, they leave candles lighting, so that they have fires very frequently. The children always die there before their parents. There is a sort of flying insect in their jakes, which has cruel teeth, and is fond of human testicles; so that when a man goes there upon his occasions, it is forty to one but he comes away without them. Nothing is so easy as to destroy those animals; and yet ask the reason, why they do it not they say, It was their ancestors custom of old." N.

TO THE RIGHT HONOURABLE

JOHN LORD SOMERS.

MY LORD,

ALTHOUGH the author has written a large dedication, yet that being addressed to a prince, whom I am never likely to have the honour of being known to: a person besides, as far as I can observe, not at all regarded, or thought on by any of our present writers; and being wholly free from that slavery, which booksellers usually lie under, to the caprices of authors; I think it a wise piece of presumption to inscribe these papers to your lordship, and to implore your lordship's protection of them. God and your lordship know their faults, and their merits; for, as to my own particular, I am altogether a stranger to the matter; and though every body else should be equally ignorant, I do not fear the sale of the book, at all the worse, upon that score. Your Lordship's name on the front in capital letters will at any time get off one edition neither would I desire any other help to grow an alderman, than a patent for the sole privilege of dedicating to your lordship.

. I should now, in right of a dedicator, give your lordship a list of your own virtues, and at the same time be very unwilling to offend your modesty; but chiefly, I should celebrate your liberality towards men of great parts and small fortunes, and give you broad hints, that I mean myself. And I was just going on, in the usual method, to peruse a hundred or two of dedications, and transcribe an abstract to E

VOL. III.

be applied to your lordship; but I was diverted by a certain accident: for, upon the covers of these papers, I casually observed written in large letters the two following words, DETUR DIGNISSIMO; which, for aught I knew, might contain some important meaning. But it unluckily fell out, that none of the authors I employ understood Latin (though I have them often in pay to translate out of that language). I was therefore compelled to have recourse to the curate of our parish, who englished it thus, "Let it be given to the worthiest :" and his. comment was, that the author meant his work should be dedicated to the sublimest genius of the age for wit, learning, judgment, eloquence, and wisdom. I called at a poet's chamber (who works for my. shop) in an alley hard-by, showed him the translation, and desired his opinion, who it was that the author could mean he told me, after some consi-, deration, "that vanity was a thing he abhorred; but, by the description, he thought himself to be the person aimed at;" and at the same time, he very kindly offered his own assistance gratis towards penning a dedication to himself. I desired him however to give a second guess; Why then," said he, "it must be I, or my lord Somers." From thence I went to several other wits of my acquaintance, with no small hazard and weariness to my person, from a prodigious number of dark, winding stairs;, but found them all in the same story, both; of your lordship and themselves. Now your lord-, ship is to understand, that this proceeding was not of my own invention; for I have somewhere heard, it is a maxim, that those to whom every body allows the second place, have an undoubted title to the first.

This infallibly convinced me, that your lordship, was the person intended by the author. But, being

very unacquainted in the style and form of dedications, I employed those wits aforesaid, to furnish me with hints and materials, towards a panegyric upon your lordship's virtues.

In two days, they brought me ten sheets of paper, filled up on every side. They swore to me, that they had ransacked whatever could be found in the characters of Socrates, Aristides, Epaminondas, Cato, Tully, Atticus, and other hard names, which I cannot now recollect. However, I have reason to believe, they imposed upon my ignorance; because, when I came to read over their collections, there was not a syllable there, but what I and every body else knew as well as themselves: therefore I grievously suspect a cheat; and that these authors of mine, stole and transcribed every word, from the universal report of mankind. So that I look upon myself, as fifty shillings out of pocket, to no manner of purpose.

If, by altering the title, I could make the same materials serve for another dedication (as my betters have done) it would help to make up my loss; but, I have made several persons dip here and there in those papers, and before they read three lines, they have all assured me plainly, that they cannot possibly be applied to any person beside your lordship.

I expected, indeed, to have heard of your lordship's bravery at the head of an army; of your undaunted courage in mounting a breach, or scaling a wall; or, to have had your pedigree traced in a lineal descent from the house of Austria; or, of your wonderful talent at dress and dancing; or, your profound knowledge in algebra, metaphysics, and the oriental tongues. But to ply the world with an old beaten story of your wit, and eloquence, and learning, and wisdom, and justice, and politeness, * Very unacquainted in, &c. is an impropriety of speech; it should be, very little acquainted with,' &c. S.