miliar associations of this kind have been kept up with mutual benefit and satisfaction; but generally speaking it is a risk, and you may not yourself be sufficiently amiable to bear, with a meek and quiet spirit, the general oversight, and well-meant interference, which mothers and sisters naturally expect to maintain in the household of a son and a brother. These considerations, however, must of course give way to the wishes of the husband and his family, as it is of the utmost importance not to offend his relatives in the outset by any appearance of contradiction or self-will; and besides which, he and his friends will be better judges than you can be, of the general reasons for fixing your future residence. And now, as the time draws near, are you quite sure that your means are sufficient to enable you to begin the world with independence and respectability? Perhaps you are not a judge, and if not, you have no right to think of becoming a wife; for young men in general have little opportunity of making themselves acquainted with household economy; and who then is to make those innumerable calculations upon which will depend, not only the right government of your establishment, but also your peace of mind, your integrity of character, and your influence for time and for eternity? Oh! what a happy day would that be for Britain, whose morning should smile upon the making of a law for allowing no woman to marry until she had become an economist, thoroughly acquainted with the necessary expenses of a respectable mode of living, and able to calculate the requirements of comfort, in connection with all the probable contingencies of actual life. If such a law should be so cruel as to suspend for a year or more every approach to the hymeneal altar, it would, at least, be equally effectual in averting that bitter repentance with which so many look back to the hurried and thoughtless manner in which they rushed blindfold upon an untried fate, and only opened their eyes to behold their madness and folly, when it was too late to avert the fatal consequences. As a proof how little young men in general are acquainted with these matters, I have heard many who fully calculated upon living in a genteel and comfortable style, declare that a hundred pounds was sufficient for the furnishing of a house. Thus a hundred pounds on one side, either saved, borrowed, or begged, and fifty on the other, are not unfrequently deemed an ample provision, with a salary of two hundred, to begin the world with. It is true the young man finds that salary barely sufficient for himself; but then, he hears and reads how much is saved under good female management, and he doubts not but his deficiencies will be more than made up by his wife. It is true the young lady, with her ill health, and music lessons, and change of air, costs her father at least fifty pounds per annum, but she does not see how she shall cost her husband any thing at all! Sweet soul! She needs so little, and really would be content with any thing in the world, so that she might but live with him. Nay, she who has never learned to wait upon herself, would almost do without a servant, so self-denying, so devoted is her love. Thus the two hopeful parties reason, and should a parent or a friend advise delay, the simple fact of their having been engaged, having expected to be married, and having made up their minds, appear to furnish sufficient arguments why they should proceed in their career of rashness and of folly. Parents who are kindly disposed, will hardly see their children rush upon absolute want at the commencement of their married life. The mother therefore pleads, the father calculates, and by deferring some of his own payments, or by borrowing from a friend, he is enabled to spare a little more than was at first promised, though only as a loan. And how is this small additional sum too frequently appropriated? To the purchase of luxuries which the parents of the newly married pair waited ten or twenty years before they thought of indulging themselves with; and those who have tried every expedient, and drained every creditable source, to gratify the wishes of their imprudent chil dren, have to contemplate the heart-sickening spectacle of beholding them begin the world in a style superior to that which their own industry and exertion, persevered in through half a lifetime, has alone enabled them to attain. discipline, in which she is yet but a novice; and instead of taking upon herself the honorable title of wife, to set in humility and selfabasement in the lowest seat, seeking those essential endowments of mind and of heart, without which, the blessing of her heavenly Father must be expected in vain. Above all other considerations then, as the bridal day draws near, this thought will sug mind-What am I seeking in the great change I am about to make? Am I seeking an escape from duty to enjoyment, from restraint to indulgence, from wholesome discipline to perfect ease? Now, though the delicate young lady may think she has little to do with these things, the honest-hearted Englishwoman, especially the practical Christian, will find that it be-gest itself to the serious and enlightened longs peculiarly to her province to see that just and right principles are made the foundation of her character as the mistress of a house; and in order to carry out these principles so as to make them effectual in their operation upon her fellow-beings, and acceptable in the sight of God, she must begin in time, and while the choice remains to her, to practise self-denial, even in that act which is most intimately connected with her presented the responsibility these duties will bring and future happiness. Let us hope that these questions may be answered satisfactorily, and that the young woman now about to take upon herself the charge of new duties, has thoroughly weigh along with them; and that in an humble and prayerful spirit she is inquiring, in what way she may conduct herself, so that all the members of her household shall be united as a Christian family, strengthening and encouraging each other in the service of the Lord. If the attention to economy, and the right feeling with regard to integrity, which I have so earnestly recommended in the "Women," and the "Daughters of England," have been studied in early youth, she will need no caution on the subject of delaying her marriage until prudence shall point out the proper time In so important an undertaking, it cannot for her settlement in life. She will know a be deemed presumptuous to determine, with holier, deeper kind of love than that which the Divine blessing, to begin with a high would plunge the object of it in irremediable standard of moral excellence. Whatever difficulties for her sake; and though he may our standard is, we never rise above it; be inexperienced and imprudent, she will feel and so great are the miscalculations usually it a sacred trust, to have committed to her made in a prospective view of married life, the care of his character and circumstances that one half at least of its trials, temptain these important and momentous concerns. tions, and hindrances to spiritual advanceSerious and right views on subjects of ment are entirely overlooked. Besides which, this nature, are so intimately connected with so much of the moral and religious characthe reality of the Christian character, that it ter of a household depends upon the female is difficult to imagine how a high profession who controls its domestic regulations, that of religion can exist in connection with the the woman who should rush heedlessly into kind of wilful and selfish imprudence above this situation, expecting to find it easier to described. One thing, however, is certain, act conscientiously than she had ever done that let a woman's religious profession be before, would most likely be punished for what it may, if she be rash and inconsiderate her presumption by discovering, when it was on the subject of marriage, consulting only too late, that instead of religious helps on her own gratification, and mistaking mere every hand, she was in reality plunged into fondness for deep and enduring affection, she new difficulties, and placed in the midst of has need to go back to the school of mental | hindrances to her spiritual improvement, greater and more appalling than it had ever entered into her imagination to conceive. But still there is no need to be cast down even while suffering under the natural consequences of this fearful mistake, for He who has said commit thy way unto the Lord, will assuredly be near in the time of trouble, when the child of sorrow, sincerely repenting of her blindness and her folly, shall meekly and fervently implore his promised aid. She will then have learned to feel, that let her confidence in the companion of her choice be what it may; let him be to her as the father she has forsaken, the brothers she has left, and the friends whose sweet fellowship she will never more enjoy; there will still be trials in her lot, in which he cannot participate, and depths in her soul which he cannot fathom. He may take her to his bosom as the shepherd takes the lamb; but the green pastures and the refreshing dew will not be his to give. He may guard her safety as the soldier guards the camp; but her enemies may be too subtle for his eye, and too powerful for his arm. He may be to her as the morning to the opening flower; but the sun which gives that morning all its light, will be high in the heavens, and if he shines not, there will be no real brightness in her day. And all this insufficiency may still be felt without a shadow being cast upon her earthly love. Indeed, we never err more fatally, or do greater injustice to the nature and attributes both of religion and of love, than when we blend them together, and expect from one what the other only can bestow. If love sometimes assists us by rendering certain portions of the path of duty more alluring, in how many instances does it throw all its allurements on the opposite side; and in such cases, how hard it is that religion should be charged with the sad consequences which are liable to follow! I speak not here of love as what it might be, but as what it is. I speak not of that holy and seraphic ardor, which a guardian angel might be supposed to feel for the welfare of the being whose earthly course it watched with unceasing care; nor yet of that pure sentiment, scarcely less earthly in its tendency, the chastened and subordinate attachment of a redeemed and regenerated soul; I speak of love as a fitful and capricious passion, asserting unreasonable mastery over the human mind, rejecting all control, mixing itself with all motives, assuming all forms so as to work out its own purposes, and never failing to promise an earthly paradise to its blind followers. It is of such love, I repeat, that it must be kept apart from that great work which religion has to do alone, because the strivings of the spirit in its religious exercises can only be fully known and appreciated by Him who was in all points tempted as we are; and because these groanings, which cannot be uttered to any human ear, are mercifully listened to by Him who is touched with a feeling of our infirmities. It is highly important, therefore, that the woman who ventures to become a wife, should not be leaning upon the frail reed of human love for her support. Indeed, it is more than probable that her husband will himself require assistance; and, excellent as he may have hitherto appeared to herself and others, it is equally probable that on a nearer inspection there will be found in his religious character defects and inconsistencies, which will present insuperable cbstacles in the way of her whose dependence has been solely upon him. If, however, her dependence has been rightly placed upon a higher foundation than that of excellence or human love, these defects of character will neither hinder nor discourage her. To work out her own salvation with fear and trembling, will be the great object of her life; and while engaged with all her energies in this first duty, she will be more occupied with anxiety to draw others along with her, than with disappointinent at their being less perfeet than she had imagined them. As we must all die alone, so must we live in our spiritual experience. "Not even the tenderest heart, and next our own, Knows half the reasons why we smile or sigh. Each in his hidden sphere of joy or wo Human sympathy may do much to comfort, human advice to guide, and human example to encourage; but whether married or single, whether associated with others, or separate and alone; we must all bear our own burdens, perform our own duties, answer to our own consciences, reap our own rewards, and receive our own sentence at the bar of eternal judgment. If this be an awful, and in some respects a gloomy thought, in others it is most consoling; for we need in reality but one Friend in our religious experience. All others are liable to fail us in the hour of need, and at best they can do little for us. But with this Friend on our side, no one can hurt or hinder THE FIRST YEAR OF MARRIED LIFE. ONE great fault which the writer of these pages has already presumed to find with female education, as conducted in the present day, is, that it fails to prepare the character, and to form the habits, for those after duties, which are as rigorously exacted, as if the whole training of youth had been strictly in accordance with the requirements of middle life. The tone of common conversation, and the moral atmosphere of general society, are strongly tinctured with the same fault-a tendency to encourage thoughts and feelings, wholly at variance with the line of conduct pointed out by religion, and even by common sense, as that which is most likely to be conducive to ultimate happiness. want of prospective discipline at once so obvious, and so lamentable, as in the whole progress of that system of self-recommendation which men call courtship, and which unquestionably deserves that name, if to win the partial favor of an inexperienced, and perhaps a vain woman, be the only object they have in view. It is true, that the man who wishes to gain the affections of a woman, must first endeavor to render himself agreeable to her; but all I would ask is, that while endeavoring to gain her love, he should at the same time take some pains to make her worthy of his own, by treating her at least with the faithfulness and sincerity of a friend. Nor need he fear that he shall be a loser in the end by this mode of treatment, for how much greater is the flattery of being loved in spite of our faults, than of being supposed to have none! If men would, then, in common honesty, state what points they object to in the woman they admire, and what they really do require in a wife, they would not only find their influence, during the season of courtship, productive of the most beneficial consequences, but they would themselves escape a world of disappointment afterwards, while they would save the object of their affections all that astonishment, and wounded feeling, which naturally arise out of finding herself convicted of innumerable faults which were never so much as hinted at before. Instead of the candid and generous treatment here recommended, how often is the progress of courtship no better than a system of fulsome adulation, and consequently of falsehood, carried on exactly as if marriage was indeed the end, instead of the beginning, of their mutual existence. And thus the affair goes on-nay, it becomes even worse, until the near approach of that day which is to make them one; for friends and relatives now take the same tone, and the bride elect is set apart from all domestic discipline, the recipient of flattering attentions, the object of universal interest, and the centre towards which all calculations and all expressions of But in no other circumstance of life is this kindness equally tend. Persons sometimes appear least selfish when their self-love is fully and freely gratified; because they have then nothing left to require or to complain of. Thus the bride elect always appears amiable, because everybody waits upon her, everybody flatters her, and everybody promotes the gratification of her wishes to the utmost of their power. There is now no self-denial, no giving place to others, no privation of the expected means of enjoyment--or, to sum up all in one word, there is no neglect to try her selfishness, or put her meekness to the test. How should she be otherwise than amiable? In this manner time passes on, self being made daily more and more the object of universal attention, until at last, the bride becomes personally almost an idol, so lavish is the expenditure bestowed upon her now, compared with what it has ever been before; so attractive, so becoming, is every ornament she wears; and so lively is the interest, so profound the respect, with which she is treated on that eventful day, which dawns upon her departure from her parents' home. almost exclusively to the happiness of others for her own, would already have become so habitual as to require no new effort to carry out through the intercourse of daily life. Happy, and wise as well as happy, would that man be, who should make himself content to wait for the dawning of his bridal day, until the woman of his choice should have been thus prepared. But instead of this, man eagerly secures his prize; and, like the training of a snared bird, that discipline must all come afterwards, which is to end in domestic harmony, or domestic strife. But let us turn the page, and after welcoming home the happy couple from the wedding tour, let us venture to whisper into the ear of the bride a few sage words, from which, whether properly prepared or not, she may possibly, from the simple fact of her inexperience, be able to gather something for her future good. If ever, in the course of human life, indecision may be accounted a merit rather than a defect, it is so in the conduct of a young and newly married woman. While every circumstance around her is new and untried, the voice of prudence dictates caution before any important step is taken, either with regard to the formation of intimacies, or the general style and order of living. A warmhearted, dependent, and affectionate young woman, ardently attached to her husband, will be predisposed to lean upon the kindness of his relatives, and even to enter rashly into the most intimate and familiar intercourse with them. But even this amiable impulse should be checked by the remembrance, that in all such intimacies, it is much more difficult to recede than to advance, and that when familiar intimacy is once established, there is no such thing as drawing back without per Far be it from me to attempt to divest that day of its solemn and important character, or to lower the tone of feeling with which it ought to be regarded; but as a lover of truth, and a somewhat studious observer of the days which follow, I own I should like to see the preparation of a bride consist more of mental discipline than of personal adornment-more of the resources of a well-stored understanding, already thoroughly informed on the subjects of relative position and practical duty; and with these, the still higher ornament of a chastened spirit, already imbued with a lively consciousness of the deep responsibilities devolving upon a married woman. After such a preparation, there would be no unwelcome truth to reveal, no unex-sonal affront. It will happen, too, unless the pected reproof to endure. To fall short of the high standard of excellence in almost every act, and not always to be graciously forgiven, would be a matter of calculation, which, with true Christian meekness, she would be prepared to meet; while to set aside all selfish considerations, and to look husband's relatives are something more than human, that among themselves there will not be perfect unanimity of feeling. They will probably be divided into little parties, in which individuals on one side will look with partial or censorious eyes upon the sayings and doings of those on the other. Such partial |