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CHAPTER VIII.

POSITION IN SOCIETY.

In a previous work, addressed to the "Daughters of England," I have proposed as the first serious inquiry of a thinking mind, that all young persons entering upon the active duties of life, should ask this questionwhat is my actual position? And if in the season of early youth this question is important, it is equally, if not more so, immediately after marriage, especially as the position of a woman must always depend upon that of her husband, where society is so constituted that a man may raise or lower his wife, though no woman, except in very peculiar cases, can effect any material alteration in the rank or station of her husband.

Thus it is highly important, in taking upon herself the duties of a new home, that the wife should ascertain precisely what is her position with regard to those with whom she associates; for there is as great a deviation from good sense, integrity, and right feeling, in being servile to the great, as in being haughty to the poor.

activity to render it as strong as either happiness or usefulness require.

Now, though it is far from the wish of the writer to wage war against any of those ingenious occupations which fill up the spare time of young ladies in general, provided such occupations are kept in their proper place, and made to fill up spare time only; yet, against the morbid feelings both of mind and body, which are engendered by a life of mere trifling, all who wish well to the sex, both in this and other countries, must feel it a sacred duty to use such influence as they possess.

It is, however, the foolish pride, and the false notions of what is, or is not, becoming, naturally arising out of the state of existence to which our young ladies of the middle class of society in England are consigned, which, more than any thing else, interfere with their happiness, and prevent their being in reality either a help, or a comfort, to the companions whose lot they are bound to share for life.

England as a nation has little to boast of beyond her intellectual and her moral power. It is in this that her superiority is felt and acknowledged by the world; and in this it might almost be allowed her to indulge a sort of honest pride. That this power is

think all have agreed; and that, originating in them, it is made to operate more extensively through the efficient instrumentality of a comparatively well-ordered and wisely governed population of working people.

But it is impossible to enter upon this subject, without being afresh reminded of one of those inconsistencies which mark the gen-chiefly lodged with the middle classes, I eral tone of feeling and habit in society of the middle ranks in England. I mean a striking inequality between the degree of refinement, self-indulgence, and luxury, existing among men, and that which is generally found among women of the same rank. In families whose dependence is entirely upon business, this is especially the case, at least in our large towns and cities; for, while the sons are sent out at an early age, to engage in all the drudgery of the shop or the warehouse, the daughters remain at home, not unfrequently the occupants of elegant drawing-rooms, with little else to do than practise their music lessons, manufacture their waxflowers, or pursue, according to the popular notions of the day, those various and infallible methods of renovating a feeble constitution, which, in nine cases out of ten, in reality wants nothing more than a little wholesome

What then would England gain individually or collectively, by the middle classes aspiring upwards to imitate the manners, and adopt the customs of the aristocracy? No; let her shopkeepers be shopkeepers still-her farmers, farmers-and the wives and daughters of such honest, manly, and honorable citizens of the world, let them no longer blush to owe the comfort of their homes to the profits of a well-conducted trade.

To say nothing of the want of right submission to the will of Providence, evinced by being foolishly above the situation we are born to; it is in my opinion a sort of rebel

lion, or rather treachery, against the welfare of our country, to be thus unwilling to maintain, what future ages will agree to have been the glory of the times in which we live.

Besides which, it requires but little knowledge, but little observation of society in other countries, and but little acquaintance with the world in general, to see that those distinctions which give to one occupation so much more dignity than another, must be purely conventional. Let us look, as an instance of this, at the vast difference we make in our notions of gentility between wholesale and retail business. And though a man of noble birth, as he drives by necessity through the bustling streets of London, would smile at the idea that trade was not a degradation of itself sufficient to exclude all notion of degree; yet the tradesman living at his shop knows perfectly well, that his wife and daughters have no right to visit with the wife and daughters of him who keeps his country house, and sells en masse, from some dark warehouse in the city, the self-same articles in which the other deals.

Still these distinctions, strongly and clearly as they are occasionally impressed upon the inferior classes, become sometimes a little intricate, as wealth enables its possessor to advance in the scale of luxury and indulgence. When the city shopkeeper, for instance, obtains sufficient to enable him to settle in his rural villa, from whence he issues every morning to his counting-house in town, the wife and daughters who remain to set the fashions of the village where they live-how immeasurably far are they from holding intercourse with any of the shopkeepers there! Even when affairs connected with the welfare of the neighborhood render it necessary to call upon the shopkeeper's wife, they meet her in a manner the most distant, and the most unlike what could by any possibility be construed into friendship.

But in order to see more clearly the perfect absurdity of such distinctions, we have only to make a sudden transition of thought to the state of a new colony, on some uncivilized and distant shore; and ask what differ

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ence any one would think of making there, between the member of that little community who should prepare the skins of wild animals for general use, and him who should manufacture such skins into articles of wearing apparel? or who would pronounce upon the inferiority of occupation in him who should employ himself each day in catering for a single meal, to that of him who should, in a longer space of time, provide for many meals together?

That the man who held the reins of government over such a community, would merit some distinction, I am free to allow, because his situation would be one to which he must have risen either by his own superiority of mind, or by the unanimous consent of the rest, who agreed, at the time they appointed him to the office, to evince towards him the respect which is always due to influence rightly exercised. In the same manner, and according to their different degrees of capability, many of the others would, no doubt, work their way to offices of responsibility and trust, instituted for the good of the whole body, and each entitled to its share of respect and confidence. But that working in one material more than another, handling one article of food or apparel, or even dealing in a large or a small way, with those who buy and sell, should be able to create distinctions of such importance as to separate society into mere fractions, or to invest one party with honor, and cast odium upon the other, is a phenomenon which has been left for the enlightened stage of civilization in which we live, fully to develop, though the march of intellect has hitherto failed to reduce the whole to a system, so as to be understood and acted upon with any degree of certainty and precision.

It may be said, and perhaps with too much truth, that the business of shopkeeping, as it is generally conducted, has little tendency to ennoble the character; and that perpetually striving to please for purposes of self-interest, those who in reality are sometimes cordially despised, is lowering to the dignity of a man, to say nothing of a gentleman.

Yet what can be expected of such wives, for they have their sickly sensibilities arising out of the false position they have held, and for which they have been training; they have the romance engendered by indolence and light reading; they have the love of self, which personal indulgence has strengthened into a habit; they have their delicate consti

It may be asked, on the other hand, who, in a troubled, fretful, and discontented spirit, in the present state of society, is exempt as much at variance with what a husband from this particular kind of degradation? would naturally desire in the companion of The lawyer, who may be said almost to hold his home, as with what ought to be exhibited the destinies of his fellow-creatures in his as the graces of the Christian character. hand-he cringes to his wealthy client, and often works his way to distinction by concealing his real sentiments, and pretending to be other than he is. The doctor, too, with his untiring patience, and his imperturbable serenity, approaching with apparent kindness and respect, where every feeling of his soul is repelled-who would speak of him as an independent man, more especially in the out-tutions, and their thousand ailments-they set of his career? Nor is this less the case with other professions, all which, however, are esteemed more honorable, and consequently more eligible, than any kind of trade. But still

"A man's a man for a' that;" and let his occupation be what it may, it is the honest heart, the upright principle, the steady mind, and the unbiased judgment, which give him dignity wherever he may be placed. The man who possesses these qualifications, in addition to a far-stretching and enlightened intellect, must ever be a pillar to the state in which he lives, for he will uphold its integrity, and without such men no nation can be truly great.

have all these to contend with, and all operating powerfully against the cheerful performance of the new duties in which they are involved.

Who can have witnessed the situation of such women in their married state, without longing to awaken the whole sisterhood to a different estimate of duty, and of happiness? Who can have observed their feeble striving after nobler effort, when too late to attain the power of making it to any useful purposethe spirit broken, the health impaired, the beauty and vivacity of youth all gone; the few accomplishments upon which their time was wasted, forgotten, or remembered only as a dream; the wish without the hope to do better for the future, than has been done for the past, the failing of pecuniary means, resources gradually diminishing in proportion to the increase of demand-sickness, servants, children, and their education, all requiring more and more-who that has ever looked upon all this, and there are not a few among the boasted homes of England where the reality of this picture might be found, would not yearn with aching heart over so lamentable a waste of good feeling and intention, arising solely out of the early, but wrong basis of the female mind with regard to common things?

As the chosen companion of such a man, is it possible, then, that an English woman born to the same rank in society, should blush to acknowledge herself a tradesman's wife? Nor is this all. It is not the bare acknowledgment that she is so, which can in any way be made to answer the demands of duty, but a perfect willingness to adapt herself in every respect to her situation, so as to answer its various requirements to the satisfaction of all around her. And here the sisters who have been separated so widely from their brothers in the formation of their social and domestic habits, are found so often and so lamentably at fault; not always because But let us not despair. Where ignorance they are unwilling to do what duty may re- and not perverseness constitutes the foundaquire, but because from having early imbibed tion of any prevailing evil, the whole may false notions of what is really honorable, and easily be remedied. Let us look then again really degrading, they do their duty, if at all, | at the constitution of English society, at the

vast proportion of good which is effected by the middle classes, at the mass of intellect it comprehends, at the genius by which it is adorned, at the influence it commands, at the dignity with which it is invested by the state, and last, but not least, at its independence; for if, on the one hand, it claims exemption from the necessary hardships and restrictions of the poor, on the other, it is equally privileged in its exemption from the arbitrary requirements of exalted rank.

It is unquestionably one of the great advantages of being born to this station, that we are comparatively free to think and act for ourselves; that our heritage is one of liberty, with the rational enjoyment of which no one has a right to interfere. We have our intellectual privileges, too, and leisure for the cultivation of the mind; our social meetings, where we dare to speak the honest feelings of the heart, no man being able to make us afraid; our hospitality unshackled by the cold formalities of rank; our homes supplied with every comfort, and it may be, adorned with elegance; our fireside pleasures uninterrupted; our ingatherings of domestic joy sacred to those who dwell beneath the same protecting roof; and no interference with our sentiments, or our religion, but each one left to follow out the purpose of a merciful Creator, by choosing his Bible and his conscience as his only guide.

And what could any reasonable woman wish for more? Or having found herself a member of a community thus constituted, why should she reject its noble privileges, for the sake of any feeble hold she may obtain of such as belong more probably to another, and a higher sphere?

I have already stated, in an earlier portion of this work, that true dignity can only be maintained by adaptation to our circumstances, whatever they may be thus there can be no dignity in assuming what does not belong to our actual position in society; though many temptations to fall into this error are placed in the way of women in general. When, for instance, the wife of a respectable tradesman is associated with per

sons of superior rank in the duties of private or public charity, she is frequently treated with a degree of kindness and freedom, which, if not on her guard against the fascinating manners of that class of society, might easily beguile her into the belief that no real difference of rank was felt to exist. But just in proportion as she would herself desire to be affable and kind to those beneath her, without such kindness being presumed upon as an evidence of equality; so it often happens that ladies of rank do really enjoy a certain degree of friendly and social intercourse with women of good sense occupying a lower station, when at the same time they would shrink away repelled by the least symptom of the difference of rank being forgotten by the inferior party.

It is the instinct of natural delicacy then which leads us rather to withdraw our familiarity, than to have it withdrawn from; and if thus sensible of what is her proper sphere, and scrupulous to observe its limits, a rightminded woman need never be made to feel that she is not respected; although the moment she steps beyond the boundary of that sphere, the true dignity of her character will be gone.

Nor is this the case with her position in society alone. All misapprehensions about herself, such as supposing she is beautiful when she is not, or highly gifted when no evidence of talent appears, or important when she has no influence-all these mistakes are calculated to deprive a woman of that dignity which is the inalienable possession of all who fill with perfect propriety their appointed place.

It is scarcely necessary in the present state of society to point out, on the other hand, the loss of character and influence occasioned by living below our station; for if in some individual minds there is an inherent tendency to sink and grovel in their own sphere, or to be servile and cringing to those above them; such a propensity forms so rare an exception to the general character of the times in which we live, as scarcely to need any further comment, more especially as such a disposition

is exposed by its own folly to that contempt which constitutes its proper punishment.

It is, however, deeply to be regretted, that often where this tendency is not inherent, nor consequently a part of individual character, it has in too many instances been induced by the severe and constant pressure of pecuniary difficulties, rendering it an act of necessity, rather than of choice, that the favor of the distinguished or the wealthy should be sought, and their patronage obtained, as the only means of ensuring success, and sometimes as the only hope of preserving a helpless family from want or ruin.

to healthy activity the various powers of the mind and body, and thus exciting a degree of energy and cheerfulness, alike calculated to enhance the pleasure of success, or to support under the trial of disappointment. While on the other hand, a shrinking, reluctant, halfish way of falling in with the requirements of duty, by perpetuating the sensation of self-sacrifice, and dragging out each individual effort into a lingering and painful struggle, is not more likely to produce the most unfavorable impression upon the minds of those with whom we are associated, than to weary out our own inclination to do right, at the same time that it effectually destroys our happiness and our peace of mind.

I have thus far, in relation to position in society, spoken only of cases in which the wife may be liable to feel that her situation is a humiliating one, and I have been com

Pitiable as this situation may be, and frequent as there is every reason to fear it is, much may be done in cases of this kind to keep up the moral dignity of a husband and a family, by the influence of a high-principled wife, who will make it the study of her life to prove that it is not in the power of cir-pelled to do this at some length-from the cumstances to degrade an upright and independent mind.

If, then, it is a duty of paramount importance for a wife to ascertain what is her exact position in society, and to endeavor to adapt herself to it wherever it may be; her next duty is to consider well the manner of doing this. We can all feel, in the case of our servants and dependents, the vast difference there is between a willing and an unwilling service. How striking then must be this difference, where all the social affections, and the best feelings of the heart, are implicated, as they must be, in the conduct of a wife!

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fact already noticed, of the sisters in families connected with business, being generally so far in advance of their brothers, not only as regards their notions of what is suitable or becoming to themselves, but also the habits they have cultivated of refinement and personal indulgence, as to render it scarcely possible for them to marry in the same sphere of life, without having much to endure before they can enter with full purpose of heart into all the requirements of their new situation.

But if cases of this kind constitute the majority of those which fall under our notice, we must not forget that in English society, it is the privilege of many persons in the I can think of no more appropriate word middle ranks to be placed in circumstances by which to describe the manner in which of affluence and ease, where the luxuries of her duties ought to be performed, than the life, and even its elegances, may properly be homely phraseology we use, when we speak enjoyed. And if the first aspect of such a of things being done heartily; for it is pre- lot should present the idea of greater percisely in this way that she may most effect-sonal indulgence being its lawful accompaniually prove to her husband how entirely she considers her destiny, with all its hopes, and all its anxieties, to be identified with his. As a mere matter of policy, too, nothing can be more likely to ensure the happiest results, since whatever we do heartily, produces in one sense its own reward, by stimulating in

ment; on the other hand, the serious and reflecting mind must be struck with the important fact, that in proportion to more extensive means of enjoyment, must be a wider influence, and a greater amount of responsibility.

To use this influence aright, and to render

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