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weeks, and have been driven, in some measure, into extremity; but this hath been the Lord's opportunity. I cried unto him, and he kept my mind staid on himself. In the midst of various trials he has made me sit calm on tumult's wheel. From the comfort I felt, I doubted trials were at hand it proved so, but I also proved the Lord a strong hold in the day of trouble. Nature felt and suffered, but grace sustained the conflict. He gave me to feel composure, serenity, and comfort in his house of prayer. O that it may be a prelude to greater enjoyments! But he makes me more and more sensible I am nothing, and have nothing, but what he bestows; and this keeps me dependant upon himself, for which I praise him. He also still shews me what I lack, but surrounds me with promises for all I can stand in need of. I will extol thee, O God, my King, for ever and ever: while I have a being I will praise my God.

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21. Gardiner's Hall. I left Saughton Hall the 14th, a place where the Lord permitted me to be tried with great and sore inward conflicts, but out of which he also, in a great measure, delivered me; a place wherein he gave me, in much mercy, to know him, times without number, as a God that heareth prayer, both for myself and others. He also afforded frequent opportunities of attempting to do good to others, by having the gospel preached in my house; by the distribution of religious tracts among the people, and by conversing with many individuals upon the

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concerns of their immortal souls. However feeble the attempts, if the Lord give his blessing, they shall not be in vain. Saughton Hall was a place to which I was much attached; but when the Lord called me to leave it, he enabled me cheerfully to give it up, and perhaps I may see more clearly afterwards his reasons for calling me out of it at present, I am satisfied with my situation. His presence constitutes my heaven in every place. May he enable me to love him more, and serve him better in this place, than ever I have yet done. Then I shall indeed have reason to praise him for the change. I have much cause to bless him for carrying me through much hurry, fatigue, and a variety of scenes, without suffering by it; and for giving me, since I came here, health of body, intercourse with his people, the privilege of repeatedly entering his house of prayer, and also some opportunities of acting for him, though my spiritual comforts have not been so great.

December 19. Friday. Words fail to express my obligations to the Lord. Since Wednesday, last week, I have had gracious seasons, both when alone and when with others. When Jesus smiles, my heaven is begun; and of late he has been present and precious. He is the sacred source from whence spring my chiefest joys. I long to prove his utmost salvation, and fulness of love; to be lost in that ocean of love, that neither knows bottom nor shore.

22. This also has been a precious day.

My fellowship has been with the Father and the Son from morning to night. I have felt wrapt up in Jesus, and proved him such a source of calm repose as I cannot easily express. How poor and trifling does all created good appear, when thus highly favoured of God. He in mercy keeps me keenly sensible of my weakness, while he lets me feel where my strength lies, and makes me aware of my danger. As it respects spiritual pride, my soul trembles at the thought. I fly to the feet of Jesus, and there I am safe.

1783.

Diary and Correspondence continued.

January 3. My God has seen meet to conduct me to the beginning of a new year, and with an unusual measure of bodily health. I was enabled to wait upon him in public very late on the last night of the last year, and early on the first day of this; neither of which I had been privileged to do for many years. A painful languor has rested on my mind for some little time. I have no condemnation, but experience a keen conviction of my want of more spiritual life. I see and feel the necessity of drawing near to God. Indeed

he has so moulded my spirit, that if I do not enjoy comfort in him, I cannot find it in any thing else. Long since he inclined me to flee. from the world lest I should be hurt by it, and also because I had no relish for it; so that I am thankful to say, I have no proper source of comfort but in himself. When, therefore, I feel at a distance from him, I am all an aching void, and am entirely out of my element. I also grieve from day to day that my sphere of usefulness remains so contracted. My desires to act for God are constant and vigorous; and his promises for this are many and extensive; but "hope deferred maketh the heart sick." The aspect of Providence has long in this respect appeared to oppose my wishes and expectations, hence arises my grief: but I would chide my unbelief. Surely the promises of a faithful God shall not, cannot fail. Upon a review of the last year, I perceive this has been my complaint during the whole of it; yet I trust I have been kept thirsting after all the life of God, and for the full accomplishment of all the precious promises he has given in my behalf. Hasten, Lord, the happy time.

22. I have lately been favoured with a more ardent spirit of prayer than almost ever formerly my whole soul seemed to struggle into God, and to pant keenly after the full accomplishment of the promises. I was in great hopes that the time to favour me was come; for I felt as though I could not live at such a distance from God, was made astonished and ashamed at my

past unfaithfulness and unprofitableness, and amazed that the Lord had borne with me so long. For some days past this keen edge has been blunted, and is succeeded by a degree of languor. My constant desire is, for the full enjoyment of the blessing of sanctification; and I would always be at a throne of grace: but when there, I do not enjoy that spirit of fervent supplication as lately; nay, all my kindling ardours die away, and I remain uneasy and restless. O to enter into a permanent rest, where all is light, life, and power! O to be all praise, all love, and all activity! My desires after more extensive usefulness continue, and recently the Lord favoured me with new opportunities, and afforded me power to embrace them. I feel the will of my God to be precious, and desire in all things to be conformed to it.

February 14. I have had a small revival, but it does not prove-lasting. On Monday evening my heart was softened, my mind serene, and a degree of sweetness was diffused throughout my soul. The following day, this increased; and the Lord shewed me clearly the state of my soul, and convinced me that part of my suffering had arisen from a partial ignorance respecting it. While I painfully thought the work of grace was at a stand, the Lord was in fact carrying it on, though not in that joyous way I wished; but by giving me a general and constant view of the shortness of time, and the infinite value of eternity, thereby making all earthly and transient

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