VERSES

Wrote in a

Lady's Ivory Table-Book:

P

Anno, 1698.

ERUSE my Leaves thro' ev'ry Part,
And think thou feeft my Owner's Heart,
Scrawl'd o'er with Trifles thus, and quite
As hard, as fenflefs, and as light;

Expos'd to every Coxcomb's Eyes,
But hid with Caution from the Wife.
Here you may read (Dear Charming Saint)
Beneath (A new Receipt for Paint)
Here in Beau-fpelling (tru tel Deth)
There in her own?(før en el breth )
Here (lovely Nymph pronounce my Doom)
There (A fafe way to ufe Perfume)
Here a Page fill'd with Billet-Doux;
On t'other fide (laid out for Shoes)
(Madam, I dye without your Grace)
(Item, for half a Tard of Lace)

Whe, that had Wit, would place it here,
For every Peeping Fop to Jear.

To

To think that your Brains Iffue is
Expos'd to th' Excrement of his,
In Power of Spittle and a Clout
When e'ere he pleafe to blot it out;
And then to heighthen the Difgrace,
Claps his own Nonfenfe in the place.
Whoe're expects to hold his Part
In fuch a Book and fuch a Heart,
If he be Wealthy and a Fool
Is in all Points the fittest Tool,
Of whom it may be justly faid,
He's a Gold Pencil tipt with Lead.

ΤΟ

Their EXCELLENCIES the

Lords Justices

O F

IRELAND,

The Humble PETITION of Frances Harris,
Who muft Starve, and Die a Maid if it Mifcarries.

Anno 1700.

-Humbly Sheweth,

T

HAT I went to warm my felf in Lady
Betty's Chamber, becaufe I was cold,
And I had in a Purfe, Seven Pound
four Shillings and fix Pence, befides

Farthings, in Money and Gold;

So because I had been buying things for my Lady laft Night,

I was refolved to tell my Money, to see if it was right:

Now

Now you must know, because a very bad Lock,"

Trunk has

my

Therefore all the Money, I have, which God knows is a very fmall Stock,

I keep in my Pocket ty'd about my Middle, next my Smock.

So when I went to put up my Purfe, as God would have it, my Smock was unript,

And, inftead of putting it into my Pocket, down it flipt:

Then the Bell rung, and I went down to put my Lady to Bed,

And, God knows I thought my Money was as fafe as my Maiden-head.

So when I came up again, I found my Pocket feel very light,

But when I fearch'd, and mifs'd my Purfe, Lord! I thought, I fhould have funk out-right: Lord! Madam, fays Mary, how d'ye do? Indeed, fays I, never worse.

But pray, Mary, can you tell what I have done with my Purfe?

Lord help me, faid Mary, I never ftir'd out of this place!

Nay, faid I, I had it in Lady Betty's Chamber, that's a plain Cafe."

So Mary got me to Bed, and cover'd me up warm, However fhe ftole away my Garters, that I might do my felf no harm:

So I tumble'd and tofs'd all Night, as you may very well think,

But hardly ever fet my Eyes together, or flept a Wink.

So I was a dream'd, mé-thought, that we went and fearch'd the Folks round,

And in a Corner of Mrs. Duke's Box, ty'd in a Rag, the money was found. 0.

So

So next Morning we told Whittle, and he fell 2 Swearing;

Then my Dame Wadgar came, and fhe, you know, is thick of Hearing;

Dame, faid I, as loud as I could bawl, do you know what a Lofs I have had?

Nay, faid fhe, my Lord

all very fad,

t

Collway's Folks are

For my Lord f Dromedary comes a Tuesday without fail:

Pugh! faid I, but that's not the Bufinefs that

Iail.

Says Cary, fays he, I have been a Servant this Five and Twenty Years, come Spring,

And in all the Places I liv'd,I never heard of fuch a Thing.

Yes, fays the Steward, I remember, when I was at my Lady Shrewsbury's,

Such a Thing as this happen'd, juft about the time of Goosberries.

So I went to the Party fufpected, and I found her full of Grief;

(Now you must know, of all Things in the World, I hate a Thief.)

However, I was refolv'd to bring the Difcourfe flily about:

Mrs. Dukes, faid I, here's an ugly Accident has happen'd out;

'Tis not that I value the Money three fkips of a Loufe;

But the Thing that I ftand upon, is the Credit of the Houfe;

"Tis true, Seven Pounds, four Shillings, and fix Pence makes a great Hole in my Wages, Befides, as they fay, Service is no Inheritance in the fe Ages.

*

Gallway.

† Droghada.

Now,