For the POLITICAL REGISTER. MY LORD, No Το O piece of wit can fo eafily be accepted, as when fhot from the bow of one who is of the immediate occupation, or fraternity. Of this we, have various inftances in the profeffions of the church, the army, and the law. A man of humour places a kind of legal prefcription for thus darting his arrow more or lefs pointed, or poisoned: and, the better to elucidate my propofition, I will give an example of each in turn, by which my gentle (or ungentle) reader (no matter which) may better understand me. In the church, 'tis more than reported, (for 'tis believed, even at Paris, elsewhere, and every where) that a certain archbishop there, often boafted how eafily he would obtain (nay command) the cardinal's hat. This, every one knows, is the highest honour in that church, and gives each wearer of it the rank and reputation of a monarch. His grace went to Rome, feemingly, on other affairs, but, really and truly, to exert his very utmost interest for this great honour; but came back difappointed. On his arrival, the chapter, of course, went to pay him the ufual congratulations. He was forry not to keep them to fupper, having a bad cold. "I am not furprifed at it, my lord," faid a droll dog of a canon, "when you came all way from Rome without an hat. Ha! ha! La!" the As, being a brother clergyman, the joke was taken in good part, which a layman would have been baftinadoed for perhaps. In the army, (that I may keep my word with each reader) a common foldier told his commander in chief, (who held his nofe on paffing the tent) That he could not be expected to be a civet-cat, when his d-n'd commiffaries fed the army with ftinking meat. The joke was of fervice; for his excellency immediately looked into the affairs of bread, &c. and all went well afterwards. Thus, a fldier (being of the fame trade) could fay what a ftranger could not. My laft inftance being that of the law, in our own country, fhall mention no names; but a certain venerable judge (with a periwig run to feed) thought he could overpower a young fucking counfellor with an home queftion or two. It may may doubly be faid to be an home question, because it related to his affairs at home. "I hear, young gentleman," fays he, "your lady lies in." "She does, my lord, and is very well in her condition." Then, in a kind of fneering whisper, "But I hear your maid lies in too." "Well," replies the young barrifter, "and what is that to me?" 66 Aye, but I hear you are the father of it." "And pray, What is that to you?" Being of the fame trade, his lordship (who perhaps could look back on his former Temple-life) was forced to swallow that from the gownfman he would not have done from any other. 'Tis my vocation, Hal. "And now, my lord, as we are brother taylors, how could you be fo unkind not to join eight of us to your right honourable felf, when you were dubbed the other day a py Economy (that glory of our nation) fhould have prompted this, because the expence would have been fplit into nine equal parts; by which means your lordship would have escaped, as being only the ninth part of a man, I repeat, fir, would have efcaped a penny in every nine-pence and truly, my lord, near 90 per cent. is more profit than wine can beftow, or any commodity you may deal in. I can conceive, now, fome of your hungry court-flaves and lacqueys (fuch as gentlemen ufhers, pages, footmen, and all that chidden train, as Shakespeare fo happily terms it) calling on me for the fees of honour on this I immediately call for the bill, and, feeing nine pounds, inftantly lay down a golden guinea-demand one filver fhilling change, (none of your Birminghams for me); and then giving him a lift where my other eight brethren live, immediately with your lordship at the head, prove that nine taylors make but one man. Some disadvantages may, perhaps, attend, which common eyes may not fo inftantly foresee one is (and a very material one) that, in case of any sudden business, (fuch as a masfacre in St. George's Fields, or any fuch disagreeable circumftance, as a great man ftiles it) we must all be found, and enter, tyed up together, like Dutch quills, or a Battersea bundle of Afparagus. To carry my raillery (if it appears fo to your lordship, for I am truly ferious) a little further, I can conceive a card of invitation hunting the fquirrel after us; and because one of us (not fo potent and puiflant as is your lordship) may be at Sadler's-Wells, Meffieurs Sampfon and his pair of horses, or under the fhade of a nine-pin alley near Moorfields (where the Now Great could, once, have fome little amusement; as your your lordship can prove) that another Corfica may be furprifed; a Bofton ungratefully revolt; or a foreign army land in Kent; and all for want of one more in the cabinet, which only we three times three could make up. Ódd numbers are not only esteemed, but believed luckywho knows then how lucky we might be when all met together? I fear, 'tis now too late to try; and, for your ingratitude or neglect of us, (no matter which) the whole kingdom will fuffer, as you can, in a pinch of politics, only give the ninth part of an opinion. To conclude, my lord, I will even follow you to your grave, not as a chief, or as a mourner, but to fee how very much the fculptor may mistake in your epitaph, and even fymbols of the tomb, Would it not be falfe heraldry to put then an entire pair of fhears or fciffars? or an whole yard (when 'tis well known your lordship can command only three inches?) But as I'm in a hurry, going to take measure for a fuit of mourning for the whole family of the Allens, must break off at once, and only mention what fhould be your epitaph, though I fear it will not! as the world is turned upfide-down, according to the ingenious halfpenny print on that occafion, where the pig is roafting the cock, the child beating his father, and the dull fcholar flogging the head-mafter of Westminster, or any other fchool-form, a royal one, to that where 'tis wrote over the door This academy to be lett or fold, with all its EPITA PH. "Would you now make an epitaph, (No lefs, perhaps, my lord, than we) To clear all myfteries, with this- From From the BOSTON GAZETTE. UR advices from England are, that the late duties and multiplication of custom-house officers, &c. were the effects of the late C―s T——————d's eloquence, and the machinations and mifrepresentations of others :-That the eyes of the more sensible and difinterested are open, who now fee that American affairs must be put upon a better footing. That our late agreement to promote industry and manufactures, being the effect of neceffity, was highly ap plauded, and, as they add, muft work our deliverance in one fhape or another, if duly adhered to by the colonies:-That the merchants and manufacturers were greatly alarmed and diftreffed by the decline of trade, and would foon exert themfelves in our favour, and are highly difgufted, that a multitude of officers, whose business was before done by one or two furveyors general, fhould be fent here to fuck out the very life and spirits of trade:-That the more knowing people at home are in great concern at the present aspect of national affairs, and mention things not fo proper to be hinted in a newspaper :-That a new parliament was foon to be called, and the fate of Britain depended much upon a good or bad election:-That corruption and extravagance greatly prevailed, notwithstanding the moft diftreffing fcarcity :-That multitudes of manufacturers were ready to partake of our plenty, if they had but the means to transport themselves to the colonies:-That good men in the nation wifhed and prayed that America might still continue a land of liberty, civil and religious, that fo it might be a proper afylum for our brethren in fame future period, which they feared was not far diftant. Province of MASSACHUSETTS-BAY. The following Refolves paffed the honourable House of Reprefentatives in their laft Seffion. WHEREAS In the House of Representatives, Feb. 26, 1768. THEREAS the happiness and well-being of civil communities depend upon industry, economy and good morals. And this house taking into ferious confideration the great great decay of the trade of the province, the scarcity of money, the heavy debt contracted in the late war which still remains on the people, and the great difficulties to which they are by these means reduced : Refolved, That this house will use their utmost endeavours, and enforce their endeavours by example, in fuppreffing extravagance, idleness, and vice, and promoting industry, œconomy, and good morals, in their respective towns. And in order to prevent the unneceffary exportation of money, of which this province has of late been so much drained : It is further refolved, that this houfe will, by all prudent means, endeavour to discountenance the ufe of foreign superfluities, and to encourage the manufactures of this province. The following reasons were offered to the houfe by Brigadier Ruggles, for his diffent to the above refolves, viz. Mr. Speaker, TH Province of Maffachufett's-Bay. HE honourable house of reprefentative of this province on the 26th instant, having refolved, that they will use their utmost endeavours, and enforce the fame by example, in fuppreffing extravagance, idlenefs, and vice, and promoting induftry, œconomy, and good morals, in their respective towns. And in order to prevent the unneceffary exportation of money, of which this province has of late been fo much.drained : they further refolved, that they would, by all prudent means, endeavour to discountenance the ufe of foreign fuperfluities, and to encourage the manufactures of this province. The paffing faid refolutions being determined by yea, and nay, the reprefentative of the town of Hardwick being the only one who answered nay to the queftion put for paffing faid refolutions, begs leave to explain himself upon his diffenting anfwer, and fays, that he had no objection to the refolution of endeavouring to fupprefs extravagance, idleness, and vice, and promoting industry, economy, and good morals, but was pleased with the appearance of fuch neceffary reformation; nor has he any objection to the encouraging manufactures, which do not interfere with those of the mother country, but on the contrary might be beneficial to both that and this country. But as it is fuppofed that the true interest of this province confifts in the cultivation of a good harmony with their mother country, the improvement of the land, and the encouragement of a legal trade, it is humbly apprehended it |