lar line from the zenith to the center of the earth. In which pofition, if the audience be well compact, every one carries home a fhare, and little or nothing is lost.

I confefs, there is fomething yet more refined in the contrivance and ftructure of our modern theatres. For, firft, the pit is funk below the stage with due regard to the inftitution above-deduced; that whatever weighty matter fhall be delivered thence, whether it be lead or gold, may fall plum into the jaws of certain critics, as I think they are called, which ftand ready opened to devour them. Then, the boxes are built round, and raised to a level with the fcene, in deference to the ladies; because, that large portion of wit, laid out in raifing pruriences and protuberances, is obferved to run much upon a line, and ever in a circle. The whining paffions, and little ftarved conceits are gently wafted up by their own extreme levity to the middle region, and there fix and are frozen by the frigid understandings of the inhabitants. Bombaftry and buffoonry, by nature lofty and light, foar higheft of all,

and

and would be loft in the roof, if the prudent architect had not with much fore→ fight contrived for them a fourth place, called the twelve-penny-gallery, and there planted a fuitable colony, who greedily intercept them in their paffage.

Now this phyfico-logical scheme of oratorial receptacles or machines contains a great mystery, being a type, a fign, an emblem, a fhadow, a symbol, bearing analogy to the fpacious commonwealth of writers, and to thofe methods by which they must exalt themselves to a certain eminency above the inferior world. By the pulpit are adumbrated the writings of our modern faints in Great-Britain, as they have fpiritualised and refined them from the dross and groffness of sense and hu→ man reafon. The matter, as we have faid, is of rotten wood; and that upon two confiderations; because it is the quality of rotten wood to give light in the dark: and fecondly, because its cavities are full of worms; which is a type with a pair of

The two principal qualifications of a fanatic preacher are, his inward light, and his head full of maggots; and the

two different fates of his write ings are, to be burnt or wormeaten.

M 2

handles,

handles, having a respect to the two principal qualifications of the orator, and the twɔdifferent fatesattending upon his works. The ladder is an adequate fymbol of faction, and of poetry, to both of which fo noble a number of authors are indebted for their fame. Of faction, because *

Hiatus in

MS. Of poetry,

because its orators do perorare with a fong; and because climbing up by flow degrees, fate is fure to turn them off before they can reach within many fteps of the top: and because it is a preferment attained by transferring of propriety, and a confounding of meum and tuum.

Under the faga itinerant are couched thofe productions defigned for the pleasure and delight of mortal man; fuch as, fixpenny-worth of wit, Weftminster drolleries, delightful tales, compleat jefters, and the

Here is pretended a defect in the manufcript; and this is very frequent with our author, either when he thinks he cannot fay any thing worth reading, or when he has no mind

to enter on the fubject, or when it is a matter of little moment, or perhaps to amuse his reader, whereof he is frequently very fond; or, laftly, with fome fatyrical intention.

like; by which the writers of and for GRUB-STREET have in thefe latter ages fo nobly triumphed over time; have clipped his wings, pared his nails, filed his teeth, turned back his hourglass, blunted his fcythe, and drawn the hobna ls out of his fhoes. It is under this class, I have prefumed to lift my present treatise, being juft come from having the honour conferred upon me, to be adopted a member of that illuftrious fraternity.

Now, I am not unaware, how the productions of the Grub-freet brotherhood have of late years fallen under many prejudices, nor how it has been the perpetual employment of two junior start-up focieties to ridicule them and their authors, as unworthy their established poft in the commonwealth of wit and learning. Their own consciences will eafily inform them, whom I mean; nor has the world been fo negligent a looker-on, as not to obferve the continual efforts made by the societies of Gresham' and of'Will's to edify a

name and reputation upon the ruin of OURS. And this is yet a more feeling grief to us, upon the regards of tenderness as well as of juftice, when we reflect on their proceedings not only as unjust, but as ungrateful, undutiful, and unnatural, For how can it be forgot by the world or themselves, to fay nothing of our own records, which are full and clear in the point, that they both are feminaries not only of our planting, but our watering too? I am informed, our two rivals have lately made an offer to enter into the lifts with united forces, and challenge us to a comparison of books, both as to weight and number. In return to which, with licence from our prefident, I humbly offer two answers; firft, we fay, the propofal is like that which Archimedes made upon afmaller affair, including an impoffibility in the practice; for, where can they find scales of capacity enough for the first, or an arithmetician of capacity enough for the second. Secondly, we are ready to accept the chal

went-Garden was formerly the place where the poets ufually met, which, though it be yet fresh in memory, in fome years

may be forgotten, and want this explanation.

& Viz. About moving the

earth.

lenge;