I heard a formidable noise,
Loud as the Stentrophonic voice,
That roar'd far off, Despatch and strip,
I'm ready with th' infernal whip,
That shall divest thy ribs of skin,
To expiate thy ling'ring sin.
Th' hast broke perfidiously thy oath,
And not perform'd thy plighted troth;
But spared thy renegado back,
Where th' hadst so great a prize at stake:
Which now the Fates have order'd me
For penance and revenge to flea;
Unless thou presently make haste;
Time is, time was: and there it ceased.
With which, though startled, I confess,
Yet th' horror of the thing was less
Than the other dismal apprehension
Of interruption or prevention;
And therefore snatching up the rod,
I laid upon my back a load;
Resolved to spare no flesh and blood,
To make my word and honour good:
Till tired, and taking truce at length,
For new recruits of breath and strength,
I felt the blows, still ply'd as fast,
As if th' had been by lovers placed,
In raptures of Platonic lashing,
And chaste contemplative bardashing :
When facing hastily about,
To stand upon my guard and scout,
I found th' infernal cunning man,
And th' under-witch, his Caliban,
With scourges (like the Furies) arm'd,
That on my outward quarters storm'd:
In haste I snatch'd my weapon up,
And gave their hellish rage a stop;
Call'd thrice upon your name, and fell
Courageously on Sidrophel;
Who now transform'd himself t' a bear,
Began to roar aloud and tear:
When I as furiously press'd on,
My weapon down his throat to run,
Laid hold on him; but he broke loose,
And turn'd himself into a goose,
Dived under water, in a pond,
To hide himself from being found.
In vain I sought him; but as soon
As I perceived him fled and gone,
Prepared with equal haste and rage,
His under-sorcerer t' engage.
But bravely scorning to defile.
My sword with feeble blood and vile,
I judged it better from a quick-
Set hedge to cut a knotty stick,
With which I furiously laid on,
Till, in a harsh and doleful tone,
It roar'd, O hold, for pity, Sir!
I am too great a sufferer,
Abused as you have been, b' a witch
But conjured into worse caprich;
Who sends me out on many a jaunt,
Old houses in the night to haunt,
For opportunities t' improve
Designs of thievery or love;
With drugs convey'd in drink or meat,
All feats of witches counterfeit,
Kill pigs and geese with powder'd glass,
And make it for enchantment pass;
With cow-itch 1 meazle like a leper,
And choke with fumes of Guinea-pepper :
Make lechers, and their punks, with dewtry,
Commit phantastical advowtry; 2
Bewitch Hermetic men to run 3
Stark staring mad with manicon ; 4
Believe mechanic virtuosi
Can raise 'em mountains in Potosi ; 5
And sillier than the antic fools,
Take treasure for a heap of coals;
Seek out for plants with signatures,
To quack of universal cures ;
With figures ground on panes of glass,
Make people on their heads to pass;
And mighty heaps of coin increase,
Reflected from a single piece;
To draw in fools whose natural itches
Incline perpetually to witches;
And keep me in continual fears,
And danger of my neck and ears;
When less delinquents have been scourged,
And hemp on wooden anvils forged,
Which others for cravats have worn
About their necks, and took a turn.
I pity'd the sad punishment
The wretched caitiff underwent,
And held my drubbing of his bones
Too great an honour for poltroons ;
Cow-itch :' cowage, commonly called cow-itch, is a great sort of kidney-bean, a native of the East Indies.- Advowtry:' dutroy, dewtroa, now called datura, an intoxicating plant which grows in the East Indies-Hermetic men to run:' Hermes Tresmegistus, an Egyptian philosopher, and said to have lived Anno Mundi 2076. - Manicon:' an herb so called from its
making people mad.-Potosi :' the famous silver city of Peru.- People on their heads to pass: the camera obscura.
For Knights are bound to feel no blows.
From paltry and unequal foes,
Who when they slash and cut to pieces,
Do all with civilest addresses:
Their horses never give a blow,
But when they make a leg and bow.
I therefore spared his flesh, and press'd him
About the witch with many a question.
Quoth he, For many years he drove
A kind of broking trade in love;
Employ'd in all th' intrigues and trust
Of feeble speculative lust;
Procurer to th' extravagancy,
And crazy ribaldry of fancy,
By those the Devil had forsook,
As things below him, to provoke.
But being a virtuoso, able
To smatter, quack, and cant, and dabble,
He held his talent most adroit,
For any mystical exploit ;
As others of his tribe had done,
And raised their prices three to one.
For one predicting pimp has th' odds
Of chaldrons of plain downright bawds.
But as an elf (the Devil's valet)
Is not so slight a thing to get;
For those that do his bus'ness best,
In Hell are used the ruggedest;
Before so meriting a person
Could get a grant, but in reversion,
He served two 'prenticeships and longer,
I' th' mystery of a lady-monger.
For (as some write) a witch's ghost,
As soon as from the body loosed,
Becomes a puiny imp itself,
And is another witch's elf;
He, after searching far and near,
At length found one in Lancashire,1
With whom he bargain'd beforehand,
And, after hanging, entertain'd.
Since which h' has play'd a thousand feats,
And practised all mechanic cheats;
Transform'd himself to th' ugly shapes
Of wolves and bears, baboons and apes;
Which he has vary'd more than witches,
Or Pharaoh's wizards2 could their switches;
And all with whom h' has had to do,
Turn'd to as monstrous figures too.
Witness myself, whom h' has abused,
And to this beastly shape reduced,
By feeding me on beans and pease,
He crams in nasty crevices,
And turns to comfits by his arts,
To make me relish for deserts;
And one by one, with shame and fear,
Lick up the candy'd provender.
Beside- -But as h' was running on,
To tell what other feats h' had done,
The lady stopp'd his full career,
And told him now 'twas time to hear:
If half those things (said she) be true—
They're all, quoth he, I swear by you—
Why, then (said she), that Sidrophel
Has damn'd himself to th' pit of hell;
Who, mounted on a broom, the nag
And hackney of a Lapland hag,
1 'Lancashire:' all have heard or Lancashire witches.
wizards' see Exodus vii. 11.
|