I IRISH ELOQUENCE.' HOPE you will come and take a drink of my ale. I always brew with my own bear. I was at your large Toun's house, in the county of Fermanegh. He has planted a great many oak trees, and elm trees round his lough: And a good warrent he had, it is kind father for him, I stayd with him a week. At breakfast we had sometimes sowins, and sometimes stirrabout, and sometimes fraughauns and milk; but his cows would hardly give a drop of milk. For his head had lost the pachaun. His neighbour Squire Dolt is a meer buddaugh. I'd give a cow in Conaught you could see him. He keeps none but garrauns, and he rides on a soogaun with nothing for his bridle but gadd. In that, he is a meer spaulpeen, and a perfect Monaghan, and a Munster Croch to the bargain. Without you saw him on Sunday you would take him for a Brogadeer and a spaned to a carl did not know had to draw butter. We drank balcan and whisky out of madders. And the devil a niglugam had but a caddao. I wonder your cozen does na learn him better manners. Your cousin desires you will buy him some cheney cups. I remember he had a great many; I wonder what is gone with them. I coshered on him for a week. He has a fine staggard of corn. His dedy has been very unwell. I was sorry that anything ayl her father's child. Firing is very dear thereabout. The turf is drawn tuo near in Kislers; and they send new rounds from the mines, nothing comes in the Cleeves but stock. We had a sereroar of beef, and once a runy for dinner. 1 This and the following piece were, according to Sir Walter Scott, found among the collection of Mr. Smith. The examples of English blunders which Scott also reprints were given by Sheridan by way of retaliation to these specimens of Irish blunders noted by Swift. [T. S.] A DIALOGUE IN HIBERNIAN STYLE BETWEEN A. AND B.' A. Them aples is very good. B. I cam again you in that. A. Lord I was bodderd t'other day with that prating fool, Tom. B. Pray, how does he get his health? A. He's often very unwell. B. [I] hear he was a great pet of yours. A. Where does he live? B. Opposite the red Lyon. A. I think he behaved very ill the last sessions. B. That's true, but I cannot forbear loving his father's child: Will you take a glass of my ale? A. No, I thank you, I took a drink of small beer at home before I came here. B. I always brew with my own bear: You have a countryhouse: Are you [a] planter. A. Yes, I have planted a great many oak trees and ash trees, and some elm trees round a lough. B. And so a good warrant you have: It is kind father for you. A. And what breakfast do you take in the country? B. Sometimes stirabout, and in sumer we have the best frauhaurg in all the county. A. What kind of man is your neighbour Squire Dolt? B. Why, a meer Buddogh. He sometimes coshers with me; and once a month I take a pipe with him, and we shot it about for an hour together. 1 This specimen of Irish-English, or what Swift condemned as such, is taken from an unfinished copy in the Dean's handwriting, found among Mr. Lyons's papers. [S.] A. I hear he keeps good horses. B. None but garrauns, and I have seen him often riding on a sougawn. In short, he is no better than a spawlpien; a perfect Marcghen. When I was there last, we had nothing but a medder to drink out of; and the devil a nighigam but a caddao. Will you go see him when you come unto our quarter? A. Not without you go with me. B. Will you lend me your snuff-box? A. Do you make good cheese and butter? B. Yes, when we can get milk; but our cows will never keep a drop of milk without a Puckaun. |