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to publish their thoughts in print: now, I can by no means approve our usual custom of cursing and railing at this species of thinkers, under the names of Tories, jacobites, papists, libellers, rebels, and the like.
This was the utter ruin of that poor hungry, bustling, wellmeaning mortal Pistorides, who lies equally under the contempt of both parties; with no other difference than a mixture of pity on one side and of aversion on the other.
How has he been pelted, pestered, and pounded, by one single wag, who promises never to forsake him, living or dead !
I was much pleased with the humor of a surgeon in this town, who having in his own apprehension received some great injustice from the earl of Galway, and despairing of revenge as well as relief, declared to all his friends that he had set apart one hundred guineas to purchase the earl's carcass from the sexton, whenever it should die, to make a skeleton of the bones, stuff the hide, and show them for threepence; and thus get vengeance for the injuries he had suffered by its owner.
Of the like spirit too often is that implacable race of wits, against whom there is no defence but innocence and philosophy, neither of which is likely to be at hand; and, therefore, the wounded have nowhere to fly for a cure but to downright stupidity, a crazed head, or a profligate contempt of guilt and shame.
I am therefore sorry for that other miserable creature Traulus; lord Allen, who, although of somewhat a different species, yet seems very far to outdo even the genius of Pistorides, in that miscarrying talent of railing, without consistency or discretion, against the most innocent persons, according to the present situation of his gall and spleen. I do not blame an honest gentleman for the bitterest invectives against one to whom he professes the greatest friendship, provided he acts in the dark so as not to be discovered : but in the midst of caresses, visits, and invitations, to run into the streets or to as public a place, and without the least pretended incitement sputter out the basest and falsest accusations, then to wipe his mouth, come up smiling to his friend, shake him by the hand, and tell him in a whisper it was all for his service. This proceeding, I am bold to think, a great failure in prudence; and I am afraid lest such a practitioner with a body so open, so foul, and so full of sores, may fall under the resentment of an incensed political surgeon, who is not in much renown for his mercy upon great provocations; who without waiting for his death, will flay and dissect him alive; and
I have often wondered why the same sort of tea in the county of Kilkenny has a sweeter flavor and drinks better there than the Dublin; and I find the cause proceeds frequently from the smoke of the coals here, notwithstanding all the care that can be taken, leaves some tincture in the water and spoils the taste of the tea.
By the two different fires you will find a great difference in your tea. Some will have it to be the difference in the water; but I assure you upon trial you will find it to be in the fire and and smoke. There is a great deal in the quality and nature of the coal, those fiery particles that set the water in a ferment; the more easily discerned before it is infused and sweetened.
It is not upon account of recommending this dear-bought East India commodity, nor the modish custom of drinking tea; nor on the other hand, am I for disobliging the fair sex in so small a trifle as tea-equipage and china-ware; but rather to prevent the many disappointments they met with in their entertainments occasioned by the base stinking smoky coals used here.
And I must further remark, as to the Kilkenny fire, that notwithstanding all the variety, French, English, and all sorts of cooks in Dublin, their entertainments in Kilkenny are more palatable, pleasing to the taste, their meat relishes, and much better dressed there than here, and sometimes by the same hand, so that it is altogether owing to their sweet clear and lasting good fire.
I have heard the master cooks own all this to be a matter of fact, and so often recruiting and mending the fire, condemn the sea-coal for dressing meat on account of the smoke. So plain a demonstration may be very easily tried for our own satisfaction.
The Ballycastle or Irish coal, (so called for distinction from the Kilkenny,) a small quantity thereof mixed with the Kilkenny coal, has been tried, and makes a brisk clear and ready fire, and answers both purposes; and therefore due encouragement ought to be given. to both.
In every half barrel of coals you have the one-half of it slack, and that slack of little use. In the Kilkenny, you have all coal and no slack. But I am told by those who have tried it, and it is very natural, that the slack, wet, and thrown upon the Kilkenny fire by suppression, causes a much greater heat than before, and very useful to both.
The methods proposed for bringing the Kilkenny coal by water are much cheaper than by land-carriage, and in both they have the advantage of any other colliery.
The method is by importing the same yourselves, which may be had at very easy freight.
The coals, great quantities dug up, and the conveniences for bringing them are all fixed ready for embarkation; ships and seamen here in your own port are lying idle, for want of freight; and this short trip is a voyage so easy, and secure with harbors, in wintertime, that the seafaring men would very willingly embrace any offer to bring the coals in here.
Besides, consider the great difference in freighting your own ships, bringing yourselves your own provision to supply your own market.
The Kilkenny coals that have been here imported, I was so curious to inquire, and I find they have been sold on Aston's Quay here in Dublin at 10d., 11d., and 12d. an cwt., the highest price then given.
And upon your own importation, the price of all sorts of coals and other firing will be much lessened here, without any imposition or exaction from the master and owners, from engrossers, forestallers, or any other interested persons whatsoever. It will be a singular great service and relief to your city; and save you half in the charge of your firing, and another much greater article in saving the money within yourselves.
But where there is such a jargon and disagreement, no harmony nor concord among one another, in such a confusion even our neighbors make a spoil of us, and we become a ridicule to other nations. The Whitehaven colliers are continually exhausting your treasure.
The calf has nothing to lick but chalk,
The butcher's continually bleeding it,
I shall briefly conclude this answer with what I particularly took notice of in the public, the true notion and knowledge our neighbors have of this coal in the London prints: St. James's Evening Post, August 18, 1729.
"That several persons have undertaken to bring Kilkenny (coal) to Dublin by water, for public consumption there, which will in some measure lessen the sums carried out of that kingdom for coals if it proves successful."
The rest I refer to your own judgment, and every reader to his own interest; it is plain matter of fact, and just proofs.
All these schemes may be commendable, and where there is no self-interest but public good, may be brought to perfection, and a
benefit to have both the Kilkenny and Irish coals brought up here for your relief; but the latter will be a work of time.
At present we are in want of a stock, in great want of coals, as we were last year, and no prices regulated.
I am in great hopes the ladies, for the reasons aforementioned, will join in verdict, give their negative to the Whitehaven coals as formerly, NO WOODS, nor no Whitehaven.
I am, in duty and good manners, bound to give you an answer to this letter, and submit the same to your consideration.
I am, sir, your most humble, &c.
OF WHAT WAS SAID BY
THE DEAN OF ST. PATRICK'S
TO THE LORD MAYOR AND SOME OF THE ALDErmen of DUBLIN, WHEN HIS LORDSHIP CAME TO PRESENT THE SAID DEAN WITH HIS FREEDOM IN A GOLD BOX, ABOUT THE YEAR 1736.
WHEN his lordship had said a few words, and presented the instrument, the dean gently put it back and desired first to be heard. He said, "He was much obliged to his lordship and the city for the honor they were going to do him, and which, as he was informed, they had long intended him. That it was true, this honor was mingled with a little mortification by the delay which attended it, but which, however, he did not impute to his lordship or the city; and that the mortification was the less, because he would willingly hope the delay was founded on a mistake; for which opinion he would tell his reason."
He said, "It was well known that some time ago a person1 with a title was pleased in two great assemblies to rattle bitterly somebody without a name, under the injurious appellations of a Tory, a jacobite, an enemy to king George, and a libeller of the government; which character," the dean said, "many people thought was applied to him. But he was unwilling to be of that opinion, because the person who had delivered those abusive words had for several
1 The person here intimated, Joshua lord Allen (whom Swift elsewhere satiriz under the nane of Traulus), was born in 1685.
years caressed, and courted, and solicited his friendship more than any man in either kingdom had ever done, by inviting him to his house in town and country, by coming to the deanery often, and calling or sending almost every day when the dean was sick, with many other particulars of the same nature, which continued even to a day or two of the time when the said person made those invectives in the council and house of lords. Therefore that the dean would by no means think those scurrilous words could be intended against him; because such a proceeding would overthrow all the principles of honor, justice, religion, truth, and even common humanity. Therefore the dean will endeavor to believe that the said person had some other object in his thoughts, and it was only the uncharitable custom of the world that applied this character to him. However that he would insist on this argument no longer. But one thing he would affirm and declare, without assigning any name, or making any exception, that whoever either did, or does, or shall hereafter, at any time, charge him with the character of a jacobite, an enemy to king George, or a libeller of the government, the said accusation was, is, and will be false, malicious, slanderous, and altogether groundless. And he would take the freedom to tell his lordship, and the rest that stood by, that he had done more service to the Hanover title, and more disservice to the pretender's cause, than 40,000 of those noisy railing, malicious, empty zealots, to whom nature has denied any talent that could be of use to God or their country, and left them only the gift of reviling, and spitting their venom against all who differ from them in their destructive principles, both in church and state. That he confessed it was sometimes his misfortune to dislike some things in public proccedings in both kingdoms, wherein he had often the honor to agree with wise and good men; but this did by no means affect either his loyalty to his prince or love to his country. But on the contrary he protested that such dislikes never arose in him from any other principles than the duty he owed to the king, and his affection to the kingdom. That he had been acquainted with courts and ministers long enough, and knew too well that the best ministers might mistake in points of great importance; and that he had the honor to know many more able, and at least full as honest, as any can be at present."
The dean further said, "That since he had been so falsely represented he thought it became him to give some account of himself for above 20 years, if it were only to justify his lordship and