I have no more to add upon this article than an humble proposal that those who cry this root at present in our streets of Dublin may be compelled by the justices of the peace to pronounce turnip and not turnup; for I am afraid we have still too many snakes in our bosom, and it would be well if their cellars were sometimes searched when the owners least expected it; for I am not out of fear that latet anguis in herbâ.

Thus we are zealous in matters of small moment while we neglect those of the highest importance. I have already made it manifest that all these cries were contrived in the worst of times, under the ministry of that desperate statesman, Robert, late earl of Oxford; and for that very reason ought to be rejected with horror as begun in the reign of jacobites, and may well be numbered among the rags of popery and treason; or if it be thought proper that these cries must continue, surely they ought to be only trusted in the hands of true protestants who have given security to the government.

Having already spoken of many abuses relating to sign-posts, I cannot here omit one more, because it plainly relates to politics and is perhaps of more dangerous consequence than any of the city cries, because it directly tends to destroy the succession. It is the sign of his present majesty king George II. to be met with in many streets; and yet I happen to be not only the first but the only discoverer of this audacious instance of jacobitism. And I am confident that, if the justices of the peace would please to make a strict inspection, they might find in all such houses, before which those signs are hung up in the manner I have observed, that the landlords were malignant papists, or which is worse notorious jacobites. Whoever views those signs may read over his majesty's head the following letters and ciphers, G. R. II., which plainly signifies George king II., and not king George II., or George II., king; but laying the point after the letter G, by which the owner of the house manifestly shows that he renounces his allegiance to king George II., and allows him to be only the second king, inuendo, that the pre tender is the first king; and looking upon king George to be only a kind of second king or viceroy till the pretender shall come over and seize the kingdom. I appeal to all mankind whether this be a strained or forced interpretation of the inscription as it now stands in almost every street; whether any decipherer would make the least doubt or hesitation to explain it as I have done; whether any other protestant country would endure so public an instance of treason in the capital city from such vulgar conspirators; and lastly,

whether papists and jacobites of great fortunes and quality may not probably stand behind the curtain in this dangerous, open, and avowed design against the gsvernment. But I have performed my duty; and leave the reforming of these abuses to the wisdom, the vigilance, the loyalty, and activity of my superiors.

TO THE HONORABLE

HOUSE OF COMMONS, &c.

THE HUMBLE PETITION OF THE FOOTMEN IN AND ABOUT THE CITY OF DUBLIN, IN THE YEAR 1732.

HUMBLY SHEWETH, That your petitioners are a great and numerous society, endowed with several privileges time out of mind.

That certain lewd, idle, and disorderly persons for several months past, as it is notoriously known, have been daily seen in the public walks of this city, habited sometimes in green coats and sometimes laced, with long oaken cudgels in their hands and without swords, in hopes to procure favor by that advantage with a great number of ladies who frequent those walks; pretending and giving themselves out to be the true genuine Irish footmen; whereas they can be proved to be no better than common toupees, as a judicious eye may soon discover by their awkward, clumsy, ungenteel gait and behavior; by their unskilfulness in dress, even with the advantage of our habits; by their ill-favored countenances with an air of impudence and dulness peculiar to the rest of their brethren, who have not yet arrived at that transcendent pitch of assurance, and although it may be justly apprehended that they will do so in time, if these counterfeits shall happen to succeed in their evil design of passing for real footmen, thereby to render themselves more amiable to the ladies.

Your petitioners do further allege that many of the said counterfeits, upon a strict examination, have been found in the act of strutting, staring, swearing, swaggering, in a manner that plainly showed their best endeavors to imitate us. Wherein although they did not succeed, yet by their ignorant and ungainly way of copying our graces, the utmost indignity was endeavored to be cast upon our whole profession.

Your petitioners do therefore make it their humble request that this honorable house (to many of whom your petitioners are nearly allied) will please to take this grievance into your most serious consideration; humbly submitting whether it would not be proper that certain officers might, at the public charge, be employed to search for and discover all such counterfeit footmen; to carry them before the next justice of peace, by whose warrant, upon the first conviction, they shall be stripped of their coats and oaken ornaments and be set two hours in the stocks; upon the second conviction, beside stripping, be set six hours in the stocks with a paper pinned on their breasts signifying their crime in large capital letters, and in the following words:"A. B., commonly called A. B., esq., a toupee, and a notorious impostor, who presumed to personate a true Irish footman."

And for any other offence the said toupee shall be committed to Bridewell, whipped three times, forced to hard labor for a month, and not to be set at liberty till he shall have given sufficient security for his good behavior.

Your honors will please to observe with what lenity we propose to treat these enormous offenders, who have already brought such a scandal on our honorable calling that several well-meaning people have mistaken them to be of our fraternity, in diminution to that credit and dignity whereby we have supported our station, as we always did in the worst of times. And we further beg leave to remark that this was manifestly done with a seditious design to render us less capable of serving the public in any great employments, as several of our fraternity as well as our ancestors have done.

We do therefore humbly implore your honors to give necessary orders for our relief in this present exigency, and your petitioners (as in duty bound) shall ever pray, &c.

ADVICE TO THE FREEMEN OF THE CITY OF DUBLIN,

IN THE CHOICE OF A MEMBER TO REPRESENT THEM IN PARLIAMENT. 1733.

THOSE few writers who, since the death of alderman Burton, have employed their pens in giving advice to our citizens, how they should proceed in electing a new representative for the next sessions, having laid aside their pens, I have reason to hope that all true lovers of their country in general, and particularly those who have any regard for the privileges and liberties of this great and ancient city, will think a second and a third time before they come to a final determination upon what person they resolve to fix their choice.

I am told there are only two persons who set up for candidates; one is the present lord mayor [Humphry French], and the other [John Macarall], a gentleman of good esteem, an alderman of the city, a merchant of reputation, and possessed of a considerable office under the crown. The question is which of these two persons it will be most for the advantage of the city to elect? I have but little acquaintance with either, so that my inquiries will be very impartial and drawn only from the general character and situation of both.

In order to this I must offer my countrymen and fellow-citizens some reasons why I think they ought to be more than ordinarily careful at this juncture upon whom they bestow their votes.

To perform this with more clearness, it may be proper to give you a short state of our unfortunate country.

We consist of two parties: I do not mean popish and protestant, high and low church, episcopal and sectarians, Whig and Tory; but of those of English extraction who happen to be born in this kingdom (whose ancestors reduced the whole nation under the obedience of the English crown), and the gentlemen sent from the other side to possess most of the chief employments here. This latter party is very much enlarged and strengthened by the whole power in the church, the law, the army, the revenue, and the civil administration deposited in their hands; although for political ends and to save appearances, some employments are still distributed (yet gradually

in a small number) to persons born here: this proceeding fortified with good words and many promises is sufficient to flatter and feed the hopes of hundreds, who will never be one farthing the better, as they might easily be convinced if they were qualified to think

at all.

Civil employments of all kinds have been for several years past, with great prudence, made precarious and during pleasure; by which means the possessors are and must inevitably be for ever dependent; yet those very few of any consequence, which being dealt with so sparing a hand to persons born among us, are enough to keep hope alive in great numbers who desire to mend their condition by the favor of those in power.

Now, my dear fellow-citizens, how is it possible you can conceive that any person who holds an office of some hundred pounds a year, which may be taken from him whenever power shall think fit, will, if he should be chosen a member for any city, do the least thing when he sits in the house that he knows or fears may be displeasing to those who gave him or continue him in that office? Believe me, these are not times to expect such an exalted degree of virtue from mortal men. Blazing stars are much more frequently seen than such heroical worthies. And I could sooner hope to find 10,0007. by digging in my garden than such a phoenix by searching among the present race of mankind.

I cannot forbear thinking it a very erroneous as well as modern maxim of politics in the English nation, to take every opportunity of depressing Ireland; whereof 100 instances may be produced in points of the highest importance, and within the memory of every middle-aged man; although many of the greatest persons among that party which now prevails have formerly, upon that article, much differed in their opinion from their present successors.

But so the fact stands at present. It is plain that the court and country party here (I mean in the house of commons) very seldom agree in anything but their loyalty to his present majesty, their resolutions to make him and his viceroy easy in the government to the utmost of their power, under the present condition of the kingdom. But the persons sent from England, who (to a trifle) are possessed of the sole executive power in all its branches, with their few adherents in possession who were born here, and hundreds of expectants, hopers, and promisees, put on quite contrary notions with regard to Ireland. They count upon an universal submission to whatever shall be demanded; wherein they act safely, because none of themselves, except the candidates, feel the least of our pressures.