Page images
PDF
EPUB

From the feet upward to the head

in nine months time, the boddice loose, Pithy and short,” says Dick," proceed.” And petticoats too short, disclose “ Dick, this is not an idle motion :

That at this age the active mind Observe the progress of the motion.

About the waist lies most confin'd; First, I deinonstratively prove,

And that young life and quickening sense That feet were only made to move;

Spring from his influence darted thence. And legs desire to come and go,

So from the middle of the world For they have nothing else to do.

The Sun's prolific rays are hurl'd: “ Hence, long before the child can crawl, 'Tis from that scat he darts those beams, He learns to kick, and since, and sprawl:

Which quicken Earth with genial flames." To binder which, your midwife kneus

Dick, who thus long had passive sat, To bind those parts extremely close";

Here strok'd his cbin, and cock'd his hat; Jast Alma, newly enter'd in,

Then slapp'd his hand upon the board, And stunn'd at her own christening 's din,

And thus the youth put in his word. Fearfull of future grief and pain,

“ Lore's advocates, sweet sir, would find him Shoukei silently sneak out again.

A higher place than you assign'd him." Full piteous seems young Alma's case;

Love's advocates! Dick, who are those ?" As in a bekless gamestor's place,

“ The poets, you may well suppose. She would not play, yet must not pass.

I'm sorry, sir, you have discarded " Again; as she grows something stronger,

The men with whom till now you herded. And inaster's feet are swath'd no longer,

Prose-men alone, for private ends, If in the night too oft he kicks,

I thought, forsvok their ancient friends Or shoas his loco-motive tricks;

In cor stillavil, cries Lucretius; These first assaults fat kate repays him;

If he may be allow'd to teach us. When haf asleep, she overlays hiin.

The self-same thing soft Ovid says “ Now mark, dear Richard, from the age (A proper judge in such a case). That children tr ad this worldly stage,

Horace's phrase is, torret jecur ; Brooin-staff or poker they bestride,

Anıl happy was that curious speaker. And round the parlour love to ride";

Here Virgil too has plac'd this passion. Till thoughtful father's pious care

What significs too long quotation ? Prurides his brood, next Smithfield Fair,

In ode and cpic, plain the case is, With supplemental hobby.borses :

That Love holds one of these two places." And happy be their infant courses !

“ Dick, without passion or reflection,
Hepee for some years they ne'er stand I'll strait demolish this objection.
still:

“ First, pocts, all the world agrees, Their leys, you see, direct their will;

Write half to profit, balf to please. From opening morn till setting sun,

Matter and figure they produce; Around the fields and louds they run;

For garnish this, and that for use; They frisk, and dance, and leap, and play, And, in the structure of their feasts, Nor heed what Freind or Snape can say.

They seek to feed and please their guests : " To her next stage as Alma lies,

But one may balk this good intent, And likes, as I have said, the thighs,

And take things otherwise than meant. With sympathetic power she warms

Thus, if you dinc with my lord mayor, Their good allies and friends, the arms;

Roast-beef and venison is your fare; While Betty dances on the green,

Thence you proceed to swan and bustard, And Susan is at stoolball seen;

And persevere in tart and custard : While John for nine-pins does declare,

But tulip-lcares and lemon-peel And Birger loves to pitch the bar:

Help only to adorn the meal, Buth legs and arms spontaneous move;

And painted flags, superb and neat, Which was the thing I meant to prove.

Proclaim you welcome to the treat. “ Another motion now she inales :

The man of sense ijs meat devours,
O, nel I nam. the stat she takes?

But only smells the perl and flowers;
His thonght quite changd the stripling finds; Anil he must be an idle dreamer,
The sport and race no more he minds;

Who leaves the pie, and gnaws the streamer. Neglected Tray and pointer lie,

“ That Clipit goes with bow and arrows, And covies unmolested lly.

And Venus keeps her coach and sparrows, Sudden the jocund plain he leaves,

Is all but cinblem, to acquaint one, And for the nymph in secret grieves,

The son is sharp, the mother wanton. In dying accents he complains

Such images have sometimes shown Of cruel fires, and raging pains.

A mystic sense, but oftener none. The nyniph too longs to be alone,

For who conceives, what bards derise, Leaves all the swains, and sighs for one.

That Heaven is plac'd in Celia's eyes; The nymph is warm'd with young desire,

Or where's the sense, direct and moral, And feels, and dies to quench his fire.

That teeth are pearl, or lips are coral? They meet each evening in the grove;

“ Your Horace owns, be various erit, Their parley but augınents their love:

As wild or sober baggots bit: So to the priest their case they tell:

And, where too much the poet rantid, He ties the knot; and all goes well.

The sage philosopher recanted. But, O my Muse, just distan:'e krep; His grave I pistles may disprove Thou art a wid, and 2. Qol not poep.

The wanton Odcs he made to love.

“ Lucretius keeps a mighty pother

These notions then I think but idle; With Cupid and his fancy'd mother;

And Love shall still possess the middle Calls her great queen of Earth and Air,

“ This truth more plainly to discover, Declares that winds and seas obey her;

Suppose your hero were a lover. And, while her honour he rehearses,

'Though he before had gall and rage, Implores her to inspire his verses.

Which death or conquest must assuage, a Yet, free from this poetic inadness,

He grows dispirited and low; Next page he says, in sober sadness,

He hates the fight, and shuns the foe. That she and all her fellow-yods

“ In scornful sloth Achilles slept, Sit idling in their high abodes,

And for his wench, like Tall-boy, wept : Regardless of this world below,

Nor would return to war and slaughter, Our health or hanging, weal or woe;

Till they brought back the parson's daughter. Nor once disturb their heavenly spirits

“ Antonius fled from Actium's coast, With Scapin's cheats, or Cæsar's merits.

Augustus pressing, Asia lost : “ Nor e'er can Latin poets prore

His sails by Cupid's hands unfurld, Where lies the real seat of Love.

To keep the fair, he gave the world. Jecur they burn, and cor they pierce,

Edward oar fourth, rever'd and crown'd, As either best supplies their verse;

Vigorous in youth, in arms renown'd, And, if folks ask the reason for't,

While England's voice, and Warwick's care, Say, one was long, and t'other short.

Design'd him Gallia's beauteous heir, Thus, I presuine, the British Muse

Chang'd peace and power, for rage and wars May take the freedom strangers use.

Only to dry one widow's tearsIn prose our property is greater :

" France's fourth Henry we may see Why should it then be less in metre?

A servant to the fair d'Estree; If Cupid throws a single dart,

When, quitting Coutras' prosperous field We make him wound the lover's heart :

And Portune taught at length to yield, But, if he takes his bow and quiver;

He from his guards and midnight tent *Tis sure, he must transfix the licer:

Disguis'd o'er hills and vallies went, For rhyme with reason may dispense,

To wanton with the sprightly dame, And sound has right to goveru sense.

And in his pleasure lost his fame. “ But let your friends in verse suppose,

“ Bold is the critic who dares prove What ne'er shall be allow'd in prose;

These heror's fere no friends to love; Anatomists can make it clear,

And Lolder he, who dares aver The Liver minds bis own affair;

That they were enemies to war. Kindly supplies our public uses,

Yet, when their thought should, now or nerer, And parts and strains the vital juices;

Have rais'd their heari, or tir'd their licer, Still lays soine useful bile aside,

Fond Alma to those parts was zone, To tinge the chyle's insipid tide :

Which love more justly calls his own. Else we should want both gibe and satire;

“ Examples I could cite you more ; And all be burst with pure good-nature.

But be contented wita these four : Now gall is bitter with a wituess,

For, when one's proofs are aptly chosen, And love is all delight and sweetness.

Four are as valid as four dozen. My logic then has lost its aim,

One came from Greere, and one fiom Romes If sweet and bitter be the same:

The other two grew nearer home. And he, methinks, is no great scholar,

For some in ancient books delight; Who can mistake desire for choler.

Others prefer what molerns write : “ The like may of the heart be said ;

Now I should be extremely loth,
Courage and terrour there are bred.

Not to be thought expert in both."
All those, whose hearts are Inose and low,
Start, if they hear but the tattoo:
And mighty physical their fear is;

CANTO II.
For, soon as noise of combat near is,
Their heart, descending to their breeches,

“ Bot shall we take the Muse abroad, Must give their stomach cruel twitches.

To drop her itlly on the road? But herurs, who o'ercome or die,

And leave our subject in the middle, Have their hearts hung extremely high;

As Butler diri bis Bear and Fiddle? The strings of which, in battles heat,

Yet he, consummate master, knew
Against their very corslets beat;

When to recede, and where pursue:
Keep time with their own trumpet's measure, llis noble negligences teach
And yield them most excessive pleasure.

What others toily despair to scach Now, if 'tis chiefly in the heart

Hc, perfect dancer, climb the rope That Courage does itself exert,

And balances your fear and hope : Twill be prodigious hard to prove

If, after some distinguish'd leap, That this is eke the throne of Lorc.

He drops his pole, and severns to slip, Would Nature make one place the seat

Straight gathering all his active strength Of fond desire, and fell debate?

He rise's higher half his length. Must people only take delight in

With wonder you approve his slight, Those hours, when they are tir'd of Gghting? And owe your pleasure to your frighte And has no man, but who has kill'd

But like poor Andrew 1 advance, A father, right to yet a child ?

Futse mma of my traster's dances

Around the cord awhile I sprawl,

Leaving this endless altercation, And thence, though low, in earnest fall.

The Mind affects a higher station. “ My preface tells you, I digress'd:

“ Poltis, that generous king of Thrace, He's half absolv'd who has confess'd.”

I think, was in this very case. " I like,” quoth Dick,“ your simile,

All Asia now was by the ears, And, in return, take two from me.

And gods beat up for volunteers As masters in the clare obscure

To Greece and Troy; while Pultis sat With various light your eyes allure,

In quiet governing his state, A flaming yellow here they spread,

. And whence,' said the pacific king, Draw off in blue, or charge in red;

* Does all this noise and discord spring' Yet, from these colours oddly mix'd,

* Why, Paris took Atrides' wife,' => Your sight upon the whole is fix'd:

With ease I could compose this strife : Or as, again, your courtly dames

The injur'd hero should not lose, (Whose clothes returning birth-day claims) Nor the young lover want a spouse. By arts improve the stuffs they vary,

But Helen chang'd her tirst condition, And things are best as most contšary;

Without her husband's just permission, The gown, with stiff embroidery shining,

What from the dame can Paris hope? Looks charming with a slighter lining;

She may as weļl from himn elope. The out-, if Indian figure stain,

Again, how can her ald good man, The in-side must be rich and plain.

With honqur, take her back again? Bu you great authors have thought fit

From hince I logically gather, To make digression temper wit :

The woman cannot live with either. When arguinents too fiercely glare,

Now, I have two right honest wives, You calın them with a milder air:

For whose possession no man strives s To break their points, you turn their force,

One to Atrides I will send, And furbelow the plain discourse.”

And t'other to iny Trojan friend. " Richard,” quoth Mat, “ these words of thins Each prince shall thus with honqur have Speak something sly, and something fine:

What both so warmly seern to crave: But I shall e'en resume my theme,

The wrath of gods and man shall ccase, However thou inay'st praise or blame.

And Poltis live and die in peace.' As people marry now, and settle,

“ Dick, if this story pleaseth thee, Fierce Love abates his usual mettle:

Pray thank Dan Pope, who told it me. Worldly desires, and household cares,

Howe’es swift Alma's flight may vary, Disturb the godhead's soft affairs : So now, as health or temper changes,

(Takes this by way of corollary) In larger compass Alma ranges,

Some limbs she finds the very same, This day below, the next above,

In place, in dignity, in naine :

These dwell at such convenient distance, As light or solid whimsies move, So merchant has his house in town,

That each may give his friend assistance.

Thus he who runs or dances begs
And country-scat near Bansted-down:
From one he dates his foreigu letters,

The equal vigour of two legs;

So much to both does Alma trust,
Sends out his goodş, and duns his debtors:
In t'other, at his hours of leisure,

She ne'es regards which goes the first. He smokes his pipe, and takes his pleasure,

'Teague could make neither of them stay,

When with himself he ran away. *“ And now your matrimonial Cupid, ļash'd on by 'Time, grows tir'd and stupid.

'The man who struggles in the fight, For story and experience tell us

Fatigues left arm as well as right; That man grows old, and woman jealous,

For, whilst one hand exalts the blow, Both would their little ends sccuse;

And on the earth extends the foe, He sighs for freedom, she for power :

Tother would take it wondrous ill, His wishes tend abroad to roam,

If in your pocket it lay still. And hers to domineer at home.

And, when you shoot, and shut one eye, Thus passion flags by slow degrecs,

You cannot think he would deny

To lend the other friendly aid,
And, ruffled more, delighted less,

Or wink as coward, and afraid.
The busy mind does seldom go
To those once-charming seats below;

No, sir ; whilst he withdraws his flame,

His comrade takes the surer aim : But, in the breast incamp'd, prepares

One moment if his beams recede, For well-bred feiąts and future wars,

As soon as e'er the bird is dead, The man suspects his lady's crying (When he last autunn lay a-dying)

Opening again, he lays his claim

To half the profit, half the fame,
Was but to gain him to appoint hef
By codicil a larger jointure.

And helps to pocket up the game,

'Tis thus one tradesman slips away, The woman finds it all a trick, That he could swoon when she was sick;

To give his partner fairer play. And knows, that in that grief he reckon'd

“Some limbs again, in bulk or statura On black-by'd Susan for his second.

Unlike, and not a-kin by nature, “ Thus having strove some tedious years

In concert act, like modern friends, With feign'd desires, and real fears;

Because one serves the other's ends. And, tir'd with answers and çeplies

The arm thus waits upon the heart, Of John affirms, and Martha lies,

So quick to take the bully's part,

That one, though warm, decides more slow To Henault's vaults, or Celia's chamber, Than t'other executes the blow.

As straw and paper are by amber. A stander-by may chance to have it,

If we sit down to play or set, Ere Hack himself perceives he gave it.

(Suppose at ombre or basset) “ The amorous eyes thus always go

Let people call us cheats or fools, A-strolling for their friends below;

Our cards and we are equal tools. For, long before the squire and danie

We sure in vain the cards condemn : Have tête à téte reliev'd their flame,

Ourselves both cut and shuffled them. Ere visits yet are brought about,

In vain on Fortune's aid rely: The eye by sympathy looks ont,

She only is a stander by. Knows Florimel, and longs to meet her,

Poor men! poor papers! we and they And, if he secs, is sure to greet her,

Do some impulsive force obey : Though at sasb-window, on the stairs,

And are but play'd with do not play. At court, nay (authors say) at prayers

But space and matter we should blame; “ The funeral of some valiant knight

They palm'd the trick that lost the game, May give this thing its proper light.

“ 'Thus, to save further contradiction View his two gauntlets; these declare

Against what you may think but fiction, That both his hands were us'd to war.

I for attraction, Dick, declare: And from his two gilt spurs 'tis learn'd

Deny it those bold men that dare. His fect were equally concern'd.

As well your motion, as your thought, But have you not, with thought, beheld

Is all by hidden impulse wronght: The sword hang dangling o'er the shield?

Ev'n saying that you think or walk, Which shows the breast, that plate was us'd to, Ilow like a country squire you talk ! Had an ally right arın to trust to:

Mark then ;-Where fancy, or desire, And, by the peep-holes in his crest,

Collects the beains of vital fire; Is it not virtually confest,

Into that limb fair Alma slides, That there his eyes took distant aim,

And there, pro tempore, resides. And glanc'd respect to that bright dame,

She dwells in Nicolini's tongue, In whose delight his hope was center'd,

When Pyrrhus chants the heavenly song. And for whose glove his life he ventur'd?

When Pedro does the lute command, “Objections to my general system

She guides the cunning artist's hand. May rise, perhaps ; and I have mist them :

Through Macer's gullet she runs down, But I can call to iny assistance

When the vile glutton dines alone. Proximity (mark that!) and distance;

And, void of modesty and thought, Can prove, that all things, on occasion,

She follow's Bibo's endless draught. Love union, and desire adhesion;

Through the soft sex again she ranges, That Alina mercly is a scale,

As youth, caprice, or fashion, changes. And motives, like the weights, prcvail.

Fair Alma, careless and serenje, If neither side turn down nor up,

In Fanny's sprightly eyes is seen; With loss or gain, with fear or hope,

While they ditiuse their infant beams, The balance always would hang even,

Themselves not conscious of their llanıcs. Like Mah'met's toinb, 'twixt Earth and Heaven.

Ngaju fair Alina sits confest
This, Richard, is a curious case:

On Florimel's experter breast;
Suppose your eyes sent equal rays

When she the rising sigh constrains, l'pon two distant pots of ale,

Ind, by concealing, speaks her paius. Not knowing which was mild or stale :

In Cynthia's neck fair Alina glows, In this sad state your doubtful cboice

When the rain thing her jewels shors: Would never have the casting voice;

When Jenny's stays are newly lacid, Which best or worst you could not think,

Fair Alma plays about her waist ; And die you must for want of drink;

And when the swelling hoop sustains Unless some chance inelines your sight,

The rich brocade, fair Alma deigris Setting onc pot in fairer light;

Into that lower space to enter,
Then you prefer or A, or B,

Of the large round herself the centre.
As lines and angles best agree:
Your sense resolv'd impcis your will:

“ Again: that single limb or feature, She guides your hand-so drink your fill.

(Such is the cogent force of Nature)

Which most did Alina's passion move “ Have you not seen a baker's maid Between two equal banuiers sway'd ?

In the first oljeet of her love, Her tallies useless lie, and idle,

For ever will be found confest, If plac'd exactly in the middle:

And printed on the amorous brcast. But, forc'd from this unactive state

“ O Abelaru! ill-fated youth, By virtue of soine casual weight,

Thy tale will justify this truth: On either side you hear then clatter,

But well I ucet, thy cruel wrong And judge of right and left hand matter.

Adorns a nobler poet's song. “ Now, Richard, this cocrcive force,

Dan Pope, for thy misfortune grier'd, Without your choice, must take its course;

With kind concern and skill has weavid Great kings to wars are pointed forth,

A silken web; and ne'er shall faile Like loaded needles to the north.

Its colours ; gently has le laid And thon and I, by power unseen,

The mantle o'er thy sad distrese, Are barely passive, and suck'd-in

And Venus shall the texture bless

He o'er the weéping nun has drawn

“ You know a certain lady, Dick, Such artful folds of sacred lawn,

Who saw me when I last was sick: That Love, with equal grief and pride,

She kindly talk'd, at least three hours, Shall see the crime he strives to hide,

Of plastic forms, and mental powers; And, softly drawing back the veil,

Describ'd our pre-existing station The god shall to his votaries tell

Before this vile terrene creation; Fach conscious tear, each blusbing grace,

And, lest I should be weary'd, madam, That deck'd dcar Eloisa's face.

To cut things short, came down to Adam; Happy the poet, blest the lays,

From whence, as fast as she was able, Which Buckingham has deign'd to praise ! She drowns the world, and builds up Babels

“ Next, Dick, as youth and habit sways, Through Syria, Persia, Greece, she goce, A hundred gambols Alma plays.

And takes the Romans in the close. If, whilst a boy, Jack ran from school,

“ But we'll descant on general nature: Fond of his hunting-horn and pole;

This is a system, not a satire. Though gout and age his speed detain,

“ Turn we this globe, and let us sco Old John halloos bis bounds again;

How different nations disagree By his fireside he starts the hare,

In what we wear, or eat and drink; And turns her in his wicker-chair;

Nay, Dick, perhaps in what we think. His feet, however lame, you find,

In water as you smell and taste Hare got the better of his Mind.

The soils through which it rose and past; “ If, while the Mind was in her leg,

In Alma's manners you may read The dance atfected nimble Peg;

The place where she was born and bred. Old Madge, bewitch'd at sixty-one,

“One people from their swaddling bands Calls for Green Sleeves, and Jumping Joan,

Releas'd their infants' feet and hands : In public mask, or private ball,

Here Alma to these limbs was brought, From Lincoln's-inn to Goldsmiths-hall,

And Sparta's offspring kick'd and fought. All Christmas long away she trudges,

Another taught their babes to talk, Trips it with prentices and judges:

Fre they could yet in go-carts walk : In rain her children urge his stay,

There Alma settled in the tongue, And age or paisy bar the way.

And orators from Athens sprung. But, if those images prevail

“ Observe but in these neighbouring lands Which whilom did affect the tail,

The different use of mouths and hands; She still renews the ancient scene,

As men repos’d their various hopes, Forgets the forty years between :

In battles these, and those in trupes. Aukwailly gay, and oddly intry,

“ In Britain's istes, as Heylin notes, Her scarf pale pink, her head-knot cherry ;

The ladies trip in petticoats; O'er-heated with ideal rage,

Which, for the honour of their nation, She cheats her son, to wed her page.

They quit but on some great occasion “ If Alma, whilst the man was young,

Men there in brecches clad you view: Slipp'd up too soon into his tongue,

They claim that garment as their dues Pleas'd with his own fantastic skill,

In Turkey the reverse appears; He lets that weapon ne'er lie still.

Long coats the haughty husband wears, On any point if you dispute,

And greets his wife with angry speeche, De pend upon it, he'll confute :

If she be seen without her breeches. Change sides, and you increase your pain,

“ In our fantastic climes the fair For he'll confute you back again.

With cleanly powder dry their hair : For one may speak with Tully's tongue,

And round their lovely breast and head Yet all the while be in the wrong.

Fresh flowers their mingled odours shed And 'tis remarkable, that they

Your nicer Hottentots tbink meet Talk most, who hare the least to say.

With guts and tripe to deck their feet : Your dainty speakers have the case,

With down-cast looks on Totta's legs To plead ball causes down to worse :

The ozling youth inost humbly beus As dames, wbo native beauty want,

She would not from his hopes remove Still uglier look, the more they paint.

At once his breakfast and his love: “ Again: if in the female sex

And, if the skittish nymph should tly, Alma should on this inerber lix,

lle in a double sense inust die. (11 cruel and a desperate case,

“ We siinple toasters take delight From which Heaven shield my lovely lass!) To see our women's teeth look white, For ever more all care is vain,

And every saucy ill-bred fellow That would bring Alma down again.

Sneers at a mouth profoundly yellow, As, in habitual gout or stone,

In China none hold women sweri, The only thing that can be done, .

Except their snags are black as jett. Is to correct your drink and diet,

King Chihu put nine qucens to death And keep the inward foe in quiit;

Convict on statute, Ivory Pecth. So, if for any sins of ours,

“ At Tonguin, if a prince should die, Or our forefathers' hiyber powers,

(Als Jesuits write, who never lie) Severe, though just, :1ict our life

The wite, an:I counsellor, and pricat, With that prime ill, a t Iking wife;

Who serv'd him most, and lov'd him best, Till Death shall bring the kind relief

Prepare and light his funeral tire, We must be patit ut, or be deah

and cheerfou on the pile expire.

« PreviousContinue »