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weather, or a rainy day, he would allow it fair dealing, in folks at their ease from a window to criticise his gait, and ridicule his dress at such a juncture.
In my disposure of employments of the brain, I have thought fit to make invention the master, and to give method and reason the office of its lackeys. The cause of this distribution was, from observing in my peculiar case, to be often under a temptation of being witty upon occasions, where I could be neither wise, nor sound, nor anything to the matter in hand. And I am too much a servant of the modern way, to neglect any such opportunities, whatever pains or improprieties I may be at, to introduce them. For I have observed, that, from a laborious collection of seven hundred and thirtyeight flowers, and shining hints of the best modern authors, digested with great reading into my book of commonplaces, I have not been able, after five years, to draw, hook, or force, into common conversation, any more than a dozen. Of which dozen, the one moiety failed of success, by being dropped among unsuitable company; and the other cost me so many strains, and traps, and ambages to introduce, that I at length resolved to give it over. Now, this disappointment, (to discover a secret,) I must own, gave me the first hint of setting up for an author; and I have since found, among some particular friends, that it is become a very genera complaint, and has produced the same effects upon many others. For I have remarked many a towardly word to be wholly neglected or despised in discourse, which has passed very smoothly, with some consideration and esteem, after its preferment and sanction in print. But now, since, by the liberty and encouragement of the press, I am grown absolute master of the occasions and opportunities
to expose the talents I have acquired, I already discover, that the issues of my observanda begin to grow too large for the receipts. Therefore, I shall here pause a while, till I find, by feeling the world's pulse and my own, that it will be of absolute necessity for us both, to resume my pen.
THE HISTORY OF MARTIN.
Giving an Account of his Departure from Jack, and their setting up for themselves, on which account they were obliged to travel and meet many Disasters, finding no shelter near Peter's Habitation: Martin succeeds in the North: Peter thunders against Martin for the Loss of the large Revenue he used to receive from thence. Harry Huff sent Martin a Challenge to Fight, which he received; Peter rewards Harry for the pretended Victory, which encouraged Harry to huff Peter also. With many other extraordinary Adventures of the said Martin in several Places with many considerable
With a Digression concerning the Nature, Usefulness, and Necessity of Wars and Quarrels.*
¡OW Jack and Martin, being parted, set up each for himself. How they travelled over hills and dales, met many disasters, suffered much from the good cause, and struggled with difficulties and wants, not having where to lay their head; by all which they
* This History was inserted in the former editions of the Tale of a Tub, under the title of "What follows after Sect. IX. in the Manuscript;" but in subsequent editions was omitted, by the
afterwards proved themselves to be right father's sons, and Peter to be spurious. Finding no shelter near Peter's habitation, Martin travelled northwards, and finding the Thuringians and neighbouring people disposed to change, he set up his stage first among them; where, making it his business to cry down Peter's powders, plasters, salves, and drugs, which he had sold a long time at a dear rate, allowing Martin none of the profit, though he had been often employed in recommending and putting them off; the good people, willing to save their pence, began to hearken to Martin's speeches.† How several great lords took the hint, and on the same account declared for Martin; particularly one, who, not having enough of one wife, wanted to marry a second; and
Dean's direction, in order to remove the censure of those who put a construction on it foreign to his design. As in these cooler times the whole allegory has been justly esteemed, the reader will doubtless be pleased at our having preserved this part of it from oblivion.-N.
To this notice it may be added, that the hints or fragments of allegory, here thrown out, are not in unison with the former part of the Tale, either in political principle or in the conduct of the fable. The tones of many passages is decidedly not only Whiggish, but of the Low Church, and the author is forced, somewhat awkwardly, to introduce two Martins instead of one; the first representing the sect of Luther, the second the Church of England. The fragment does not appear in the first edition; and to me has much more the appearance of a rough draught, thrown aside and altered, than of any continuation of the original story.
*The States in the North of Germany, who adopted the Lutheran religion.
†The well-known commencement of Luther's revolt against the Church of Rome, is here insinuated. He was an Augustin friar; and it was to his order that the commission of publishing papal indulgences had hitherto been entrusted; but Leo X. having transferred this charge to the Dominicans, Luther received from John Stanpitz, Vicar-General of the Augustins, authority to preach against these indulgences,-a subject which soon carried him much farther than either he or his superior had probably anticipated.
knowing Peter used not to grant such licences but at a swinging price, he struck up a bargain with Martin, whom he found more tractable, and who assured him he had the same power to allow such things. How most of the other northern lords, for their own private ends, withdrew themselves and their dependants from Peter's authority, and closed in with Martin. How Peter, enraged at the loss of such large territories, and consequently of so much revenue, thundered against Martin, and sent out the strongest and most terrible of his bulls to devour him; but, this having no effect, and Martin defending himself boldly and dexterously, Peter at last put forth proclamations, declaring Martin, and all his adherents, rebels and traitors, ordaining and requiring all his loving subjects to take up arms, and to kill, burn, and destroy all and every one of them, promising large rewards, &c., upon which ensued bloody wars and desolation.
How Harry Huff,* Lord of Albion, one of the greatest bullies of those days, sent a cartel to Martin, to fight him on a stage, at cudgels, quarter-staff, backsword, &c. Hence the origin of that genteel custom of prize-fighting, so well known and practised to this day among those polite islanders, though unknown everywhere else. How Martin, being a bold blustering fellow, accepted the challenge; how they met and fought, to the great diversion of the spectators; and, after giving one another broken heads, and many bloody wounds and bruises, how they both drew off victorious; in which their example has been frequently imitated by great clerks and others, since that time. How Martin's friends applauded his victory; and how Lord Harry's friends complimented
* Henry VIIIth's controversy with Luther in behalf of the Pope.