"The plover-eggs were admirable, and the wor"sted for the Dean's ftockings fo fine, that not "one knitter here can knit them."

We neither of us know what the other hath writ; fo one answer will ferve, if you write to us both, provided you juftly give us both our fhare, and each of us will read our own part. Pray tell us how you breathe, and whether that disorder be better.

"If the Dean fhould give you any hint about 66 money, you need not mind him; for, to my "knowledge, he borrowed twenty pounds a month ago, to keep himself alive."

I am forry to tell you, that poor Mrs. Whiteway is to be hinged on Tuefday next, for ftealing a piece of Indian filk out of Bradshaw's fhop, and did not fet the house on fire, as I advised her. I have wrote a very mafterly poem on the legionclub; which, if the printer fhould be condemned to be hanged for it, you will fee in a three-penny book; for it is 240 lines. Mrs. Whiteway is to have half the profit and half the hanging.

"The Drapier went this day to the Tholfel as a "merchant, to fign a petition to the government "against lowering the gold; where, we hear, he "made a long speech, for which he will be reckon"ed a Jacobite. God fend hanging does not go "round."

અ

Your's, &c.

MRS.

LETTER CXXXII.

Dr. SWIFT to Dr. SHERIDAN.

Dublin, May 15. 1736.

RS. Whiteway and I were fretting, raging, ftorming, and fuming, that you had not fent a letter

a letter fince you got to your caban. (for the V confonant was anciently a B,) I mean Cavan : but, however, we mingled pity; for we feared you had run away from fchool, and left the key under the door. We were much disappointed, that the spring and beginning of summer had not introduced the muses, and that your now walkable roads had not roufed your fpirits. We are here the happiest people in the universe. We have a year and a half before the club will meet, to be revenged further on the clergy, who never offended them and in England their parliament are following our steps, only with two or three steps for our one. It is well you have done with the church *; but pray take care to get money, else in a year or two more they will forbid all Greek and Latin fchools, as Popith and Jacobite. I took leave of the Duke and Duchefs to-day. He has prevailed on us to make a promife to beftow upon England 25,000 1. a-year for ever, by lowering the gold coin, against the petition of all the merchants, hopkeepers, &c. to a man. May his own eftate be lowered the other forty parts; for we now lose by all gold two and a half per cent. He will be a better (that is to fay, a worfe) man by 60,000 1. than he was when he came over, and the nation better (that is to say worse) by above half a million; befides the worthy method he hath taken in difpofal of employments in church and state. Here is a curfed long libel running about in manufcript on the legion club. It is in verfe, and the foolish town imputes it to me. There were not above thirteen abufed (as it is faid) in the original; but others have added more, which I never faw; though I have once read the true one. I have often given my opinion, that an honest man never wifhed himself to be younger. My fentiment, I find, ought not to have been univerfal, because,

Dr. Sheridan exchanged his living at Dunboyne, for the school of Cavan,

to

to my forrow, I have lived to change. I have seen fince the death of the late Queen (who had few equals before her in every virtue, fince monarchy began) fo great a contempt of religion, morality, liberty, learning, and common fenfe, among us in this kingdom; a hundred degrees beyond what I ever met with in any writer, ancient or modern. I am very confident, that a complete history of the foolish, wicked, weak, malicious, ruinous, factious, unaccountable, ridiculous, abfurd proceedings in this kingdom, would contain twelve large volumes in folio, of the fmalleft letter in the largest paper. What has Fowlbrother done to provoke you? I either never heard, or have forgot your provocations; but he was a fellow I have never been able to endure. If it can be done, I will have it printed; and the title fhall be, Upon a certain bookfeller (or printer) in Utopia. Ms. Whiteway will be here to morrow, and fhe will anfwer your fincere, open-hearted letter, very particularly; for which I will now leave room. So adieu for one night.

SIR,

"I am moft fincerely obliged to you for all the "civil things you have faid to me, and of me to "the Dean. I found the good effects of them this "day: when I waited on him, he received me with

66

great good-humour; faid fomething had hap"pened fince he saw me last, that had convinced "him of my merit; that he was forry he had treat"ed me with fo little diftinction, and that hereaf

ter I fhould not be put upon the foot of an hum"ble companion, but treated like a lady of wit, "and learning, and fortune; that if he could pre"vail on Dr. Sheridan to part with his wife, he "would make her his friend, his nurfe, and the manager of his family. I approved entirely of *Fairbrother. See the laft letter, and the fubfequent part of this

"his choice; and at the fame time expreffed my "fears, that it would be impoffible for you to "think of living without her. This is all that sticks

" with me. But confidering the friendfhip you exprefs to me for the Dean, I hope you will be perfuaded to confider his good rather than your own, and fend her up inmediately; or elfe it "will put him to the expence of giving three fhil"lings and fourpence for a wife; and he declares, "that the badness of pay of his tithes, fince the "refolutions of the parliament of Ireland, puts this out of his power."

I could not guefs why you were fo angry at Fowlbrother; till Mrs. Whiteway, who you find is now with me, faid it was for publishing fome works of yours and mine like a rogue; which is fo ufual to their trade, that I now am weary of being angry with it. I go on, to defire that Mrs Donaldion * will let me know what I owe her, not in justice, but generofity. If you could find wine and victuals, I could be glad to pafs fome part of the fummer with you, if health would permit me; for I have fome club enemies, that would be glad to fhoot me, and I do not love to be shot: it is a death I have a particular averfion to. But I fhall henceforth walk with fervants well armed, and have ordered them to kill my killers; however, I would have them be the beginners. I will do what I can with Mr. R--, who (money excepted) is a very honeft man. How your breathing? As to myfelf, my life and health are not worth a groat. How fhall we get wine to to your cabin? I can fpare fome; and am preparing diaclum to fave my ikin as far as Cavan, and even to Belturbut. Pray God preferve you.

is

Aninn-keeper at Cavan,

I am, &c.

LET

You

Dublin, June 5. 1736.. OU muft pay your groat (as if you had been drunk laft night) for this letter; because F am neither acquainted with any frank cur, nor the of frank king. I am glad you have got the piles, because it is a mark of health and a ftrong conftitution. I believe what you fay of the legion-club poem; for it plainly appears a work of a legion-club; for I hear there are fifty different copies; but what's that to me? And you are in the right, that they are not treated according to their merit. You never writ fo regularly in your life; and therefore when you write to me, always take care to have the piles; I mean any piles *, except those of lime and stone; and yet piles are not fo bad as the stone. I find you intend to be be here (by your date) in a dozen days hence. The room fhall be ready for you; though I fhall never have you in a morning, or at dinner, or in the evening; at all other times I fhall be peftered with you. John (for he does not deferve the name of Jack) is gone to his fix. miles off country-feat for the fummer. I admire at your bill of 10 1. odd; for I thought your firft was double; or is it an additional one? When you fatisfy me, I will fend down to him with a vengeance; although, except that damned vice of avarice, he is a very agreeable

R

The author held puns in contempt, but would fometimes make bimfelf merry with them,

man..