Lord Duke and your Grace. At the fame time, I cannot forbear telling you, Madam, that you are a little imperious in your manner of making your advances. You fay, perhaps you fhall not like me: I affirm you are mistaken, which I can plainly demonftrate; for I have certain intelligence, that another perfon diflikes me of late, with whose likings yours have not for fome time past gone together. However, if I fhall once have the honour to attend your Grace, I will, out of fear and prudence, appear as vain as I can, that I may not know your thoughts of me. This is your own direction, but it was needlefs: for Diogenes himself would be vain, to have received the honour of being one moment of his life in the thoughts of your Grace.

LETTER LIII.

Dublin, March 13. 1730.1.

Our fituation is an odd one; the Duchess is your treasurer, and Mr. Pope tells me you are the Duke's. And I had gone a good way in fome verfes on that occafion, prefcribing leffons to direct your conduct in a negative way; not to do fo and fo, &c. like other treasurers; how to deal with fervants, tenants, or neighbouring 'fquires, which I take to be courtiers, parliaments, and princes in alliance; and fo the parallel goes on, but grows too long to please me. I prove, that poets are the fitteft perfons to be treasurers and managers to great perfons, from their virtue, and contempt of money, &c.Pray, why did you not get a new heel to your fhoe? unless you would make your court at St. James, by affecting to imitate the Prince of Lilliput.But the rest of your letter

being wholly taken up in a very bad character of the Duchefs, I fhall fay no more to you, but apply myfelf to her Grace.

MADAM, Since Mr. Gay affirms that you love to have your own way, and fince I have the fame perfection, I will fettle that matter immediately, to prevent thofe ill confequences he apprehends. Your Grace fhall have your own way, in all places except your own house, and the domains about it. There, and there only, I expect to have mine; fo that you have all the world to reign in, bating only two or three hundred acres, and two or three houses in town and country. I will, likewife, out of my fpecial grace, certain knowledge, and mere motion, allow you to be in the right against all human kind, except myself, and to be never in the wrong, but when you differ from me. You shall have a greater privilege in the third article, of fpeaking your mind; which I fhall graciously allow you now and then to do even to myself, and only rebuke you when it does not please me.

Madam, I am now got as far as your Grace's letter; which having not read this fortnight, (having been out of town, and not daring to truft myfelf with the carriage of it) the prefumptuous manner in which you begin had flipt out of my memory. But I forgive you to the feventeenth line, where you begin to banish me for ever, by demanding me to answer all the good character fome partial friends have given me. Madam, I have lived fixteen years in Ireland, with only an intermiffion of two summers in England; and confequently am fifty years older than I was at the Queen's death, and fifty thousand times duller, and fifty million times more peevish, perverfe, and morofe; fo that under thefe difadvantages, I can only pretend to excel all your

other

other acquaintance about fome twenty bars length. Pray, Madam, have you a clear voice? and will you let me fit at your left hand, at least within three of you? for of two bad ears my right is the beft. My groom tells me, that he likes your park, but your houfe is too little. Can the parfon of the parish play at backgammon, and hold his tongue? Is any one of your women a good nurse, if I fhould fancy myself fick for four and twenty hours? How many days will you maintain me and my equipage? When thefe preliminaries are fettled, I must be very poor, very fick, or dead, or to the last degree unfortunate, if I do not attend you at Aimfbury. For I profefs you are the first lady that ever I defired to fee fince the firft of Auguft 1714; and I have forgot the date when that defire grew ftrong upon me; but I know I was not then in England, elfe I would have gone on foot for that happiness as far as to your house in Scotland. But I can foon recollect the time, by afking fome ladies here the month, the day, and the hour when I began to endure their company: which however I think was a fign of my ill judgment; for I do not perceive they mend in any thing but envying or admiring your Grace. I dif like nothing in your letter but an affected apology for bad writing, bad fpelling, and a bad pen, which you pretend Mr. Gay found fault with; wherein affront Mr. Gay, you you affront me, and you affront yourfelf. Falfe fpelling is only excufable in a chambermaid, for I would not pardon it in any of your waiting-women. Pray God preferve your Grace and family; and give me leave to expect, that you will be so just to remember me among those who have the greatest regard for virtue, goodnefs, prudence, courage, and generofity; after which you must conclude, that I am with the greatest refpect and gratitude, Ma

dam,

dam, your Grace's most obedient and most humble fervant, &c.

To Mr. GAY.

I have just got yours of February 24th, with a poftfcript by Mr. Pope. I am in great concern for him; I find Mr. Pope dictated to you the first part, and with great difficulty fome days after added the reft. I fee his weakness by his handwriting. How much does his philofophy exceed mine! I could not bear to fee him: I will write to him foon.

Ever

LETTER LIV.

Dublin, June 29. 1731. Ver fince I received your letter, I have been upon a balance about going to England, and landing at Bristol, to pafs a month at Aimfbury, as the Duchefs hath given me leave. But many difficulties hath interfered. First, I thought I had done with my law-fuit, and fo did all my lawyers; but my adverfary, after being in appearance a Proteftant thefe twenty years, hath declared he was always a Papift, and confequently, by the law here, cannot buy, nor (I think) fell; fo that I am at fea again, for almost all I am worth. Fut I have ftill a worfe evil: for the giddinefs I wasfubj ect to, inftead of coming feldom and violent, now conftantly attends me more or lefs; though in a more peaceable manner, yet fuch as will not qualify me to live among the young and healthy; and the Duchefs in all her youth, fpirit and grandeur, will make a very ill nurfe, and her women not much better. Valetudinarians muft live where they can command,

I

command, and fcold; I must have horses to ride, I must go to bed and rife when I pleafe, and live where all mortals are fubfervient to me. must talk nonfenfe when I please, and all who are prefent muft commend it. I must ride thrice a-week, and walk three or four miles befides every day.

I always told you Mr.was good for nothing but to be a rank courtier. I care not whether he ever writes to me or no. He and you may tell this to the Duchefs; and I hate to fee you fo charitable, and fuch a cully; and yet I love you for it, because I am one myself.

You are the fillieft lover in Chriftendom. you like Mrs.

If

-,why do you not command her to take you? if the does not, fhe is not worth pursuing. You do her too much honour; fhe hath neither fenfe nor tafte, if the dares to refuse you, tho' she had ten thousand pounds. I do not remember to have told you of thanks that you have not given, nor do I understand your meaning, and I am fure I had· never the least thoughts of any myfelf. If I am your friend, it is for my own reputation, and from a principle of felf-love; and I do fometimes reproach you for not honouring me, by letting the world know we are friends.

I fee very well how matters go with the Duchefs in regard to me. I heard her fay, Mr. Gay fill your letter to the Dean, that there may be no room for me; the frolic is gone far enough; I have writ thrice; I will do no more; if the man has a mind to come, let him come; what a clutter is here? pofitively I will not write a fyllable more. She is an ungrateful Duchefs, confidering how many adorers I have procured her here, over and above the thousands she had before. -I cannot allow you rich enough till you are worth 7000 1. which will bring you 300 per annum; and this will main

tain