Drew several Gifted Brethren in,
That for the Bishops would have been,
And fix'd 'em constant to the party,
With motives powerful and hearty :
Their husbands robb'd, and made hard shifts
T'administer unto their gifts,
All they could rap, and rend, and pilfer,
To scraps and ends of gold and silver;
Rubb'd down the teachers, tired and spent,
With holding forth for Parliament;
Pamper'd and edify'd their zeal
With marrow puddings many a meal ;
Enabled them, with store of meat,
On controverted points, to eat;
And cramm'd them, till their guts did ache,
With caudle, custard, and plum-cake.
What have they done, or what left undone,
That might advance the Cause at London?
March'd rank and file, with drum and ensign,
T'entrench the City for defence in :
Raised rampiers with their own soft hands,
To put the enemy to stands ;
From ladies down to oyster-wenches
Labour'd like pioneers in trenches,
Fell to their pickaxes, and tools,
And help'd the men to dig like moles.
Have not the handmaids of the City
Chose of their Members a Committee,
For raising of a common purse,
Out of their wages, to raise horse?
And do they not as triers 1 sit
To judge what officers are fit?
''Triers' ladies such as Lady Middlesex and Lady Anne Waller were actually appointed to examine into competency of officers.
Have they
Hit him directly o'er the eye,
And running down his cheek, besmear'd
With orange-tawny slime his beard;
But beard and slime being of one hue,
The wound the less appear'd in view.
Then he that on the panniers rode,
Let fly on th' other side a load;
And quickly charged again, gave fully,
In Ralpho's face, another volley.
The Knight was startled with the smell,
And for his sword began to feel;
And Ralpho, smothered with the stink,
Grasp'd his, when one that bore a link,
O' th' sudden clapp'd his flaming cudgel,
Like linstock, to the horse's touch-hole ;
And straight another, with his flambeau,
Gave Ralpho o'er the eyes a damn'd blow.
The beasts began to kick and fling,
And forced the rout to make a ring;
Thro' which they quickly broke their way,
And brought them off from further fray ;
And though disorder'd in retreat,
Each of them stoutly kept his seat:
At that an egg let fly,
For quitting both their swords and reins,
They grasp'd with all their strength the manes, 840 And, to avoid the foe's pursuit,
With spurring put their cattle to 't;
And, till all four were out of wind,
And danger too, ne'er look'd behind.
After they'd paused awhile, supplying
Their spirits, spent with fight and flying,
And Hudibras recruited force
Of lungs, for action, or discourse :
Quoth he, That man is sure to lose, That fouls his hands with dirty foes: For where no honour 's to be gain'd, 'Tis thrown away in being maintain❜d : 'Twas ill for us, we had to do With so dishon'rable a foe :
For tho' the law of arms doth bar
The use of venom'd shot in war;
Yet by the nauseous smell, and noisome,
Their case-shot savours strong of poison,
And doubtless have been chew'd with teeth
Of some that had a stinking breath ;
Else when we put it to the push,
They had not given us such a brush :
But as those poltroons that fling dirt,
Do but defile, but cannot hurt;
So all the honour they have won,
Or we have lost, is much at one.
"Twas well we made so resolute
A brave retreat, without pursuit :
For if we had not, we had sped
Much worse, to be in triumph led ;
Than which the Ancients held no state
Of man's life more unfortunate.
But if this bold adventure e'er
Do chance to reach the Widow's ear,
It may, being destined to assert
Her sex's honour, reach her heart:
And as such homely treats (they say)
Portend good fortune, so this may.
Vespasian being daub'd with dirt,
Was destined to the empire for 't:
And from a scavenger did come
To be a mighty prince in Rome :
And why may not this foul address
Presage in love the same success?
Then let us straight, to cleanse our wounds,
Advance in quest of nearest ponds;
And after (as we first design'd)
Swear I've perform'd what she enjoin'd.
THE ARGUMENT.
The Knight, with various doubts possess'd,
To win the Lady, goes in quest
Of Sidrophel, the Rosicrucian,
To know the dest'nies' resolution;
With whom being met, they both chop logic
About the science astrologic;
Till, falling from dispute to fight,
The Conj'rer's worsted by the Knight.
DOUBTLESS the pleasure is as great
Of being cheated, as to cheat;
As lookers-on feel most delight,
That least perceive a juggler's sleight;
And still the less they understand,
The more th' admire his sleight of hand.
Some with a noise, and greasy light,
Are snapp'd, as men catch larks by night,
Ensnared and hamper'd by the soul,
As nooses by the legs catch fowl.
Some with a med'cine and receipt
Are drawn to nibble at the bait;
And though it be a two-foot trout,
"Tis with a single hair pull'd out.
Others believe no voice t' an organ
So sweet as lawyer's in his bar-gown ;
Until with subtle cobweb-cheats,
They're catch'd in knotted law, like nets;
In which, when once they are imbrangled,
The more they stir, the more they're tangled; 20 And while their purses can dispute,
There's no end of th' immortal suit.
Others still gape t' anticipate
The cabinet designs of Fate,
Apply to wizards, to foresee
What shall, and what shall never be ;
And as those vultures do forbode,
Believe events prove bad or good.
A flam more senseless than the roguery
Of old aruspicy and aug'ry,
That out of garbages of cattle
Presaged th' events of truce or battle;
From flight of birds, or chickens pecking,
Success of great'st attempts would reckon :
Though cheats, yet more intelligible
Than those that with the stars do fribble.
This Hudibras by proof found true,
As in due time and place we'll show:
For he with beard and face made clean,
Being mounted on his steed again,
(And Ralpho got a cock-horse too,
Upon his beast, with much ado),
Advanced on for the Widow's house,
T'acquit himself, and pay his vows;
When various thoughts began to bustle,
And with his inward man to justle.
He thought what danger might accrue,
If she should find he swore untrue;
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