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"There was no part of creature-holiness, that I then, and at other times, had so great a sense of the loveliness of, as humility, brokenness of heart, and poverty of spirit and there was nothing that I had such a spirit to long for. My heart, as it were, panted after this, to lie low before God, and in the dust; that I might be nothing, and that God might be all; that I might become as a little child. .

"While I was there at NewYork, I sometimes was much affected with reflections on my past life, considering how late it was before I began to be truly religious, and how wickedly I had lived till then and once so as to weep abundantly, and for a considerable time together.

"On Jan. 12, 1722-3, I made a solemn dedication of myself to God, and wrote it down; giving up myself and all that I had to God, to be for the future in no respect my own, to act as one that had no right to himself, in any respect. And solemnly vowed to take God for my whole portion and felicity, looking on nothing else as any part of my happiness, nor acting as if it were, and his law for the constant rule of my obedience'; engaging to fight with all my might against the world, the flesh, and the devil, to the end of my life. But have reason to be infinitely humbled, when I consider, how much I have failed of answering my obliga

tion.

"I had then abundance of sweet religious conversation in the family where I lived, with Mr. John Smith, and his pious mother. My heart was knit in affection to those, in whom were

appearances of true piety; and I could bear the thoughts of no other companions, but such as were holy, and the disciples of the blessed Jesus.

"I had great longings for the advancement of Christ's kingdom in the world. My secret prayer used to be in great part taken up in praying for it. If I heard the least hint of any thing that happened in any part of the world, that appeared to me, in some respect or other, to have a favorable aspect on the interest of Christ's kingdom, my soul eagerly catched at it; and it would much animate and refresh me. I used to be earnest to read public news-letters, mainly for that end; to see if I could not find some news favorable to the interest of religion in the world.

"I very frequently used to retire into a solitary place, on the banks of Hudson's River, at some distance from the city, for contemplation on divine things, and secret converse with God; and had many sweet hours there. Sometimes Mr. Smith and I walked there together, to converse of the things of God; and our conversation used much to turn on the advancement of Christ's kingdom in the world, and the glorious things that God would accomplish for his church in the latter days.

"I had then, and at other times, the greatest delight in the holy scriptures, of any book whatsoever. Oftentimes in reading it, every word seemed to touch my heart. I felt a harmony between something in my heart, and those sweet and powerful words. I seemed

often to see so much light exhibited by every sentence, and such a refreshing, ravishing food communicated, that I could not get along in reading. Used oftentimes to dwell long on one sentence, to see the wonders contained in it; and yet almost every sentence seemed to be full of wonders.

I find in my Diary of May 1, 1723. It was my comfort to think of that state, where there is fulness of joy; where reigns heavenly, sweet, calm, and delightful love, without alloy; where there are continually the dearest expressions of this love; where is the enjoyment of the persons loved, without ever part

appear so lovely in this world, will really be inexpressibly more lovely, and full of love to us. And how sweetly will the mutual lovers join together to sing the praises of God and the Lamb! How full will it fill us with joy to think that this enjoyment, these sweet exercises, will never cease or come to an end, but will last to all eternity!

"I came away from New-ing; where these persons that York in the month of April 1723, and had a most bitter parting with madam Smith and her son. My heart seemed to sink within me at leaving the family and city where I had enjoyed so many sweet and pleasant days. I went from New-York to Wethersfield by water. As I sailed away, I kept sight of the city as long as I could; and when I was out of "Continued much in the same sight of it, it would affect me frame in the general that I had much to look that way, with a been in at New-York, till I went kind of melancholy mixed with to New-Haven, to live there as sweetness. However, that night, Tutor of the College; having after this sorrowful parting, I one special season of uncommon was greatly comforted in God at sweetness; particularly once at Westchester, where we went Bolton, in a journey from Bosashore to lodge; and had a ton, walking out alone in the pleasant time of it all the voy- fields. After I went to New-Haage to Saybrook. It was sweet ven I sunk in religion; my mind to me to think of meeting dear being diverted from my eager Christians in heaven, where we and violent pursuits after holishould never part more. Atness, by some affairs that greatSaybrook we went ashore to ly perplexed and distracted my lodge on Saturday, and there mind. kept Sabbath; where I had a sweet and refreshing season, walking alone in the fields.

"After I came home to Windsor, remained much in a like frame of mind as I had been at New-York, but only sometimes felt my heart ready to sink with the thoughts of my friends at New-York. And my refuge and support was in contemplations on the heavenly state; as

"In Sep. 1725, was taken ill at New-Haven; and endeavoring to go home to Windsor, was so ill at the North-Village that I could go no further; where I lay sick for about a quarter of a year. And, in this sickness, God was pleased to visit me again with the sweet influences of his Spirit. My mind was greatly engaged there on divine, pleasant contempla

tions, and longings of soul. I the most lovely of all his attriobserved that those who watch-butes. The doctrines of God's ed with me, would often be look-absolute sovereignty and free ing out for the morning, and grace, in showing mercy, to seemed to wish for it: which whom he would show mercy, brought to my mind those words and man's absolute dependence of the Psalmist, which my soul on the operations of God's Howith sweetness made its own ly Spirit, have very often aplanguage, My soul waiteth for peared to me as sweet and glothe Lord, more than they that rious doctrines. These docwatch for the morning; I say trines have been much my demore than they that watch for the light. God's sovereignty has morning. And when the light ever appeared to me as great of the morning came, and the part of his glory. It has often beams of the sun came in at been sweet to me to go to God, the windows, it refreshed my and adore him as a sovereign God, soul from one morning to ano- and ask sovereign mercy of him. ther. It seemed to me to be some image of the sweet light of God's glory.

"I remember, about that time, I used greatly to long for the conversion of some that I was concerned with. It seemed to me, I could gladly honor them, and with delight be a servant to them, and lie at their feet, if they were but truly holy.

"But, some time after this, I was again greatly diverted in my mind, with some temporal concerns, that exceedingly took up my thoughts, greatly to the wounding of my soul; and went on through various exercises, | that it would be tedious to relate, that gave me much more experience of my own heart than ever I had before.

"I have loved the doctrines of the gospel; they have been to my soul like green pastures. The gospel has seemed to me to be the richest treasure, the treasure that I have most desired, and longed that it might dwell richly in me. The way of salvation by Christ, has appeared in a general way, glorious and excellent, and inost pleasant and most beautiful. It has often seemed to me, that it would in a great measure spoil heaven, to receive it in any other way. That text has often been affecting and delightful to me, Isa. xxxii. 2. A man shall be an hiding place from the wind, and a covert from the tempest, &c.

"It has often appeared sweet to me to be united to Christ; to have him for my head, and to be a member of his body; and also to have Christ for my teach

"Since I came to this town (Northampton,) I have often had sweet complacency in God, in views of his glorious perfec-er and prophet. I very often tions, and the excellency of Je- think with sweetness, and longsus Christ. God has appeared ings, and pantings of soul, of to me a glorious and loving be- being a little child, taking hold ing chiefly on the account of of Christ, to be led by him thro❜ his holiness. The holiness of the wilderness of this world. God has always appeared to me That text, Matt. xviii. at the

beginning, has often been sweet | estate, but in a direct view of the

to me, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, &c. I love to think of coming to Christ, to receive salvation of him, poor in spirit, and quite empty of self; humbly exalting him alone; cut entirely off from my root, and to grow into, and out of Christ; to have God in Christ to be all in all; and to live by faith on the Son of God, a life of humble, unfeigned confidence in him. That scripture has often been sweet to me, Psal. cxv. 1. Not unto us, O Lord, not unto us, but unto thy name give glory, for thy mercy, and for thy truth's sake. And those words of Christ, Luke x. 21. In that hour Jesus rejoiced in spirit, and said, I thank thee, O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them unto babes: even so, Father, for so it seemed good in thy sight. That Sovereignty of God that Christ rejoiced in, seemed to me to be worthy to be rejoiced in; and that rejoicing of Christ, seemed to me to show the excellency of Christ, and the spirit that he was of.

glorious things of the gospel. When I enjoy this sweetness, it seems to carry me above the thoughts of my own safe estate; it seems at such times a loss that I cannot bear, to take off my eye from the glorious, pleasant object I behold without me, to turn my eye in upon myself, and my own good estate.

"My heart has been much on the advancement of Christ's kingdom in the world. The histories of the past advancement of Christ's kingdom have been sweet to me. When I have read histories of past ages, the pleasantest thing in all my reading has been, to read of the kingdom of Christ being promoted. And when I have expected in my reading, to come to any such thing, I have lotted upon it all the way as I read. And my mind has been much entertained and delighted with the scripture-promises and prophecies of the future glorious advancement of Christ's kingdom on earth.

"I have sometimes had a sense of the excellent fulness of Christ, and his meetness and suitableness as a Saviour; whereby he has appeared to me far above all, the chief of ten thousands; and his blood and atonement has appeared sweet, and his righteousness sweet; which is always accompanied with an ardency of spirit, and inward strugglings, and breathings, sub-groanings, that cannot be uttered, to be emptied of myself, and swallowed up in Christ.

"Sometimes only mentioning a single word causes my heart to burn within me; or only seeing the name of Christ, or the name of some attribute of God. And God has appeared glorious to me, on account of the Trinity. It has made me have exalting thoughts of God, that he sists in three persons, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

"The sweetest joys and delights I have experienced, have not been those that have arisen from a hope of my own good

"Once, as I rode cut into the woods for my health, anno 1737, and having lighted from my horse in a retired place, as my

"I have sometimes had an affecting sense of the excellency of the word of God, as a word of life; as the light of life; a sweet, excellent, life-giving word; accompanied with a thirsting after that word, that it might dwell richly in my heart.

"I have often, since I lived in this town, had very affecting views of my own sinfulness and vileness, very frequently so as to hold me in a kind of loud weeping, sometimes for a considerable time together, so that I have often been forced to shut

manner commonly has been, to | sweet communications, like the walk for divine contemplation sun in its glory, sweetly and and prayer, I had a view, that pleasantly diffusing light and for me was extraordinary, of the life. glory of the Son of God as Mediator between God and man; and his wonderful, great, full, pure, and sweet grace, and love, and meek, and gentle condescension. This grace, that appeared to me so calm and sweet, appeared great above the heavens. The person of Christ appeared ineffably excellent, with an excellency great enough to swallow up all thought and conception, which continued, as near as I can judge, about an hour, which kept me, the greater part of the time, in a flood of tears, and weeping aloud. I felt with-myself up. I have had a vastly al, an ardency of soul to be, what I know not otherwise how to express, than to be emptied and annihilated; to lie in the dust, and to be full of Christ alone; to love him with a holy and pure love; to trust in him; to live upon him; to serve and follow him, and to be totally wrapt up in the fulness of Christ; and to be perfectly sanctified and made pure with a divine and heavenly purity. I have several other times had views very much of the same nature, and that have had the same effects.

"I have many times had a sense of the glory of the Third person in the Trinity, in his of fice of Sanctifier, in his holy operations, communicating divine light and life to the soul. God, in the communications of his Holy Spirit, has appeared as an infinite fountain of divine glory and sweetness, being full and sufficient to fill and satisfy the soul; pouring forth itself in

greater sense of my own wickedness, and the badness of my heart since my conversion than ever I had before. It has often appeared to me, that if God should mark iniquity against me, I should appear the very worst of all mankind; of all that have been since the beginning of the world to this time, and that I should have by far the lowest place in hell. When others, that have come to talk with me about their soul-concerns, have expressed the sense they have had of their own wickedness, by saying that it seemed to them that they were as bad as the devil himself, I thought their expressions seemed exceeding faint and feeble to represent my wickedness. I thought I should wonder that they should content themselves with such expressions as these, if I had any reason to imagine that their sin bore any proportion to mine. It seemed to me, I should wonder at myself, if I should express

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