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a very small portion of forrow may make fome tender difpofitions melt, and break out into tears; or a man may perhaps weep at parting with his fins, as he would to bid the laft farewel to an old friend, that he was fure never to fee again.

But there is ftill a more pleasant cheat in this affair, that when we find a deadnefs, and a ftrange kind of unaptnefs and indifpofition to all impreffions of religion, and that we cannot be as truly forry for our fins as we should be; we then pretend to be forry that we are not more forry for them; which is not less abfurd and irrational, than that a man fhould pretend to be very angry at a thing, because he did not know how to be angry at all.

But, after all, what is wanting in this part of repentance, we expect to make it up in the next; and to that purpose, we put on a refolution of a mendment, which we take to be as firm as a houfe built upon a rock; so that, let the floods arife, and the winds blow, and the ftreams beat vehemently upon it, nothing fhall shake it into ruin and diforder. We doubt not, upon the ftrength of this refolve, to ftand faft and unmoved amidst the ftorm of a temptation; and do firmly believe, at the time we make it, that nothing in the world will ever be able to make us commit those fins over again, which we have fo firmly refolved against.

Thus, many a time, have we come to the facrament of the Lord's fupper, with a full purpose of amendment, and with as full a perfuafion of

putting

putting that fame purpose into practice; and yet, have we not all as often broke that good purpose, and falfified that fame perfuafion, by ftarting afide, like a broken bow, into thofe very fins which we then fo folemnly and fo confidently declared againft?

Whereas, had but any other perfon entered with us, into a vow, fo folemn, that he had taken the holy facrament upon it, I believe, had he but once deceived us, by breaking in upon the vow, we should hardly, ever after, be prevailed upon to trust that man again; although we still continue to trust our own hearts, against reason, and against experience.

This, indeed, is a dangerous deceit enough; and will, of course, betray all thofe well-meaning perfons into fin and folly, who are apt to take religion for a much easier thing than it is. But this is not the only mistake we are apt to run into: we do not only think, fometimes, that we can do more than we can do, but fometimes that we are incapable of doing lefs: An error of another kind, indeed, but not lefs dangerous, arifing from a diffidence and falfe humility; for, how much a wicked man can do, in the business of religion, if he would but do his best, is very often more than he can tell.

Thus, nothing is more common, than to fee a wicked man running headlong into fin and folly, against his reason, against his religion, and against his God. Tell him, that what he is going to do, will be an infinite difparagement to his under

standing,

flanding, which, at another time, he fetteth no fmall value upon; tell him, that it will blacken his reputation, which he had rather die for, than lofe; tell him, that the pleasure of the fin is short and tranfient, and leaveth a vexatious kind of a fting behind it, which will very hardly be drawn forth; tell him, that this is one of thofe things for which God will, moft furely, bring him to judgment, which he pretendeth to believe, with a full affurance and perfuafion: and yet, for all this, he fhutteth his eyes against all conviction, and rusheth into the fin, like a horfe into the battle; as if he had nothing left to do, but, like a filly child, to wink hard, and to think to escape a certain and an infinite mifchief, only by endeavouring not to fee it.

And now, to fhew that the heart hath given in a falfe report of the temptation, we may learn from this, that the fame weak man would resist and mafter the fame powerful temptation, upon confiderations, of infinitely lefs value than those which religion offereth; nay, fuch vile confiderations, that the grace of God cannot, without blafphemy, be supposed to add any manner of force and efficacy to them. Thus, for instance, it would be a hard matter to dress up a fin in fuch foft and tempting circumftances, that a truly covetous man would not refift, for a confiderable fum of money; when neither the hopes of heaven, nor the fears of hell, could make an impreffion upon him before. But, can any thing be a furer indication of the deceitfulness of the heart,

than

than thus to fhew more courage, refolution, and activity, in an ill cause, than it doth in a good one? and to exert itself to better purpose, when it is to ferve its own pride, or luft, or revenge, or any other paffion, than when it is to ferve God, upon the motives of the gofpel, and upon all the arguments that have ever been made ufe of, to bring men over to religion and a good life? And, thus, having fhewn that a man is wonderfully apt to deceive and impose upon himself, in passing through the several stages of that great duty, repentance; I proceed, now, in the

II. Second place, To enquire into the grounds and reasons of this ignorance, and to fhew, whence it cometh to pass, that a man, the only creature in the world that can reflect, and look into himfelf, fhould know fo little of what pafleth within him, and be fo very much unacquainted, even with the standing difpofitions and complexions of his own heart. The prime reafon of it is, becaufe we fo very feldom converfe with ourselves, and take fo little notice of what, paffeth within us. For, a man can no more know his own heart, than he can know his own face, any other way than by reflection: he may as well tell over every feature of the fmaller portions of his face, without the help of a looking-glafs, as he can tell all the inward bents and tendencies of the foul, thofe ftanding features and lincaments of the inward man, and know all the various changes that this is liable to, from cuftom, from paffion, and

from

from opinion, without a very frequent use of looking within himself.

For our paffions and inclinations are not always upon the wing, and always moving towards their refpective objects; but retire, now and then, into the more dark and hidden receffes of the heart, where they ly concealed for a while, until a fresh occafion calls them forth again: fo that, not every tranfient, oblique glance upon the mind, can bring a man into a thorough knowledge of all its ftrengths and weakneffes; for a man may fometimes turn the eye of the mind inward upon itself, as he may behold his natural face in a glafs, and go away, and ftraight forget what manner of man he was. But a man must rather fit down, and unravel every action of the past day, into all its circumftances and particularities, and obferve how every little thing moved and affected him, and what manner of impreffion it made upon his heart: this done, with that frequency and carefulness which the importance of the duty doth require, would, in a fhort time, bring him into a near and intimate acquaintance with himself.

But when men, inftead of this, 'do pass away months and years, in a perfect slumber of the mind, without once awaking it, it is no wonder, they should be fo very ignorant of themselves, and know very little more of what paffeth within them, than the very beafts which perifh. But, here, it may not be amifs to enquire into the rea VOL. II.

R

fons,

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