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ber have, by the boldness of printers, and the want of judgment in readers, been charged upon that author, wherein he never had the smallest finger, as I am affured he hath often declared; and, which is remarkable, was as free in difowning fome writings charged upon him, of which he had no reason to be afhamed, as he could be of the meanest productions of Hibernian Grubítreet.
As to thofe fatal verfes, called The lady's dreffing-room, which have fo highly inflamed the whole fex, (except a very few of better judgment); as I can by no means juftify the vulgar opinion, that feemeth to fix it upon a perfon fo well known for works of a very different nature; fo I cannot but lament the prevailing ill taste among us, which is not able to discover that useful fatire running through every line, and the matter as decently wrapped up as it is poffible the fubject could bear.
Cleanlinefs hath, in all polite ages and nations, been esteemed the chief corporal perfection in women; as it is well known to thofe who are converfant with the ancient poets. And fo it is ftill among the young people of judgment and fobriety, when they are difpofed to marry. And I do not doubt, but that there is a great number of young ladies in this town and kingdom, who, in reading that poem, find great complacency in their own minds, from a consciousness, that the fatirical part in the Lady's dreffing-room doth not in the leaft affect them.
Wherefore it is manifeft, that no poem was ever writ▾ ten with a better design for the service of the fex: wherein our author hath obferved, to a title, the precepts of his master Horace; or, indeed, rather hath gone very far beyond him, in the article of decency.
That great poet, inftructing us what actions are fitteft to be produced openly upon the Scene, and which are moft proper to be only related to the audience, goeth many lengths beyond the author of the Lady's dreffingroom; for, at the fame inftant when he faith, fome actions should not appear as done upon the stage, he al lows, they may be recited with pleasure and elegance; and yet when he cometh to particulars, his recital is extremely grofs, and fo are his very precepts which forbid the actions that if our infinitely more modeft author
had imitated his mafter's fyle, the whole world might, with great appearance of reason, have been up in arms against him.
Therefore, to fet those two poets in a true light, I have ventured, for the fatisfaction of both fexes, to translate as literally as I could, ten lines in Horace, upon the very fame fubject, which our author hath handled with a decency fo far fuperior to his Roman master.
To justify the truth of my tranflation, I defire all fine gentlemen and ladies will appeal from me to the infor mation of the learned, that I may be wholly clear from the least cenfure of mifreprefenting fo great an authority; for, indeed, if I have been guilty of any fault, it is in palliating the grofs expreffions in the original, and foftening them very much to the politeness of the prefent age.
The Latin is word for word as follows.
Aut agitur res in feenis, aut alta refertur.
The literal tranflation whereof is thus.
Some ladies do their need before your face
Nurse must not hold the child, and cry Eee Hee,
Cadmus, who voids out worms of monftruous fize,
Though fools may laugh, 'twill make a wife man fpue.
I defire the reader will compare the leaft exceptionable lines in the Lady's dreffing-room with the leaft offenfive of thefe in Horace; although purged by me, as much as could confift with preferving the true fense of the original. Yet this was the great mafier of politeness in the Roman empire, at the time it flourished most in arts and arms.
Horace, you fee, makes ufe of the plain flovenly words, which our decent Irish poet induftriously avoid. eth, and skippeth over a hundred dirty places, without fouling his fhoes. Horace, on the contrary, plainly calleth a spade, a Spade, when there was not the leaft neceffity; and when, with equal eafe, as well as fignificancy, he might have expreffed his meaning in homely terms, fit for the niceft ears of a queen or a duchess.
I do therefore pofitively decide in favour of our Hibernian bard, upon the article of decency; and am ready to defend my propofition againft all mankind; that, in the ten lines of Horace, here faithfully and favourably tranflated, there are ten times more flovenly expreffions, than in the whole poem called The lady's dreffing-room; and for the truth of this propofition, I am ready to ap peal to all the young ladies of the kingdom, or to fuch a committee as my very adverfaries fhall appoint.
The Addrefs of the Inhabitants of the liberty of the Dean and Chapter of St. Patrick's, Dublin *.
E, the inhabitants of the liberty of the Dean and
of Patrick's, and the neigh
bourhood of the fame, having been informed, by univerfal report, that a certain man of this city hath openly threatened and fworn, before many hundred people, as well perfons of quality as others, that he refolves, upon the first opportunity, by the help of feveral ruffians, to murder or maim the Reverend the Dean of St. Patrick's, our neighbour, benefactor, and head of the liberty of St. Patrick's, upon a frivolous unproved suspi• cion, of the faid Dean's having written fome lines in verfe reflecting on the faid man:
Therefore we, the faid inhabitants of the faid liberty, and in the neighbourhood thereof, from our great love and refpect to the faid Dean, to whom the whole kingdom hath fo many obligations, as well as we of the liberty, do unanimoufly declare, that we will endeavour to defend the life and limbs of the faid Dean against the said man, and all his ruffians and murderers, as far as the law will allow if he, or any of them, prefume to come into the faid liberty, with any wicked malicious intent, against the houfe, or family, or perfon, or goods. of the faid Dean. To which we have chearfully, fincerely, and heartily fet our hands.
The Dean being in bed, very much indifpofed, and not able to receive the faid perfons, dictated the following anfwer.
I receive with great thankfulness these many kind expreffions of your concern for my fafety, as well as your declared refolution to defend me (as far as the laws of God and man will allow) against all murderers and ruffians, who fhall attempt to enter into the liberty with
* See an account of the occafion of this addrefs, and the answer, in Dr Swift's life, prefixed to vol. I.
any bloody or wicked defigns, upon my life, my limbs, my houfe, or iny goods. Gentlemen, my life is in the hands of God; and whether it may be cut off by treachery, or open violence, or by the common way of other men, as long as it continues, I fhall ever bear a grateful memory for this favour you have shewn, beyond my expectation, and almost exceeding my wifhes. The inhabitants of the liberty, as well as those of the neighbourhood, have lived with me in great amity for near twenty years; which, I am confident, will never diminifh during my life. I am chiefly forry, that by two cruel diforders of deafness and giddiness, which have purfued me for four months, I am not in a condition either to hear, or to receive you, much less to return my most fincere acknowledgments, which in justice and gratitude I ought to do. May God bless you and your families in this world, and make you for ever happy in the next.
A LETTER from the GRAND MISTRESS of the FEMALE FREE MASONS to GEORGE FAULKNER, Printer.
Ixion, impious, lewd, profane,
Bright Juno woo'd, but woo'd in vain.
A bite, quoth VENUS.
A. B. C. lib. 6. p. 107.
Eeing it is of late become a fashion in town, in wri
ty of Female Free Mafons, has alfo chofen you for our printer; and fo, without preface, art, or imbellishment, (for truth and a fhort paper needs none of them), our female lodge has the whole mystery as well as any lodge